PDA

View Full Version : If you've had pre-marital sex you can't be a Republican…


Romantic Heretic
03-06-2012, 07:47 PM
…in Lauren's County, South Carolina. (http://tpmmuckraker.talkingpointsmemo.com/2012/03/sc_county_gop_if_youve_had_pre-marital_sex_you_can.php?ref=fpnewsfeed)

Demonstrating yet again my hypothesis that when most people complain about 'political correctness' they're really complaining that it's not their type of 'political correctness.'

Chiron
03-06-2012, 08:00 PM
That is just plain surreal.

Priene
03-06-2012, 08:02 PM
I'd like to see our Tories do something similar. Youth recruitment would drop to almost zero. Three decades later: no party at all. Sorted.

Monkey
03-06-2012, 08:06 PM
From the same pledge:

You must be faithful to your spouse. Your spouse cannot be a person of the same gender, and you are not allowed to favor any government action that would allow for civil unions of people of the same sex.

Apparently, it's not about "the sanctity of marriage." If you want to call yourself a real Republican, you can't even be in favor of allowing gays a legal contract allowing them similar benefits to marriage.

Oh, and right after that little gem?


You cannot now, from the moment you sign this pledge, look at pornography.

My eyes rolled so hard, I'm now typing blind.

DeleyanLee
03-06-2012, 08:07 PM
Ghods, we so need at least one more party in this system. Seriously. I want one I can vote with.

Snowstorm
03-06-2012, 08:25 PM
Ghods, we so need at least one more party in this system. Seriously. I want one I can vote with.

Just what I was thinking. Is there no common sense anymore?

Don
03-06-2012, 08:30 PM
The Republican Party establishment is running scared all over the country. That something this outrageous would surface in the buckle of the bible belt is hardly surprising. Much of the core party establishment is currently composed of social conservatives, but they're being ousted in numerous places by the relatively young libertarian wing of the party.

Delegate battles have turned into screaming matches all over the country. It bordered on open warfare in Nevada in 2008, and several counties there fell to the insurgency before the 2012 caucuses.

Very little about these battles is being reported in legacy press, but it's not hard to find details if you go looking. We'll be hearing a lot more about loyalty oaths as the old fogies who have been running things try to protect their turf from the young upstarts who are intent on kicking their asses to the curb.

Whether the party can be turned or not is still open for debate, but the more ridiculous the establishment looks, the more they destroy their own chances of preventing the takeover. If they manage to nominate Santorum or Gingrich and end up with the worst defeat in their history, there will be nothing left but a shell ripe for the taking.

sulong
03-06-2012, 08:31 PM
I think the pledge is a good idea, and I support the the rights of Republicans to follow through with it.

nevillenox
03-06-2012, 08:37 PM
I have this nagging feeling that quite a few republican candidates couldn't past this test...

regdog
03-06-2012, 08:47 PM
I'll stay Undeclared and keep going along with my porn and pre martial sex.

Teinz
03-06-2012, 08:54 PM
I have this nagging feeling that quite a few republican candidates couldn't past this test...

Who do you suspect is secretly watching porn then?

nevillenox
03-06-2012, 09:07 PM
Teinz - I was actually going for the pre-martial sex part, but now that you mention it I have always had a few suspicions about Santorum...

Teinz
03-06-2012, 09:14 PM
I figured they'd all fail the no-premarital-sex-test.

But yeah, I too suspect Santorum disables the familyfilter once in while. He seems like the type.

Alpha Echo
03-06-2012, 09:22 PM
I really...why is it I think I can't be shocked, but with every click of the mouse, I'm shocked once again?

RichardGarfinkle
03-06-2012, 09:23 PM
Who do you suspect is secretly watching porn then?

During the Reagan era there was the Meese report on pornography which read a mass of porn and concluded that looking at porn could lead to criminal behavior.

Meese also famously said that people who are suspected of crimes are guilty.

Strangely, the members of the Meese commission didn't then lock themselves up and throw away the key.

Anyway, a lot of anti-porn crusaders watch a lot of porn.

In order to warn others about its dangers, of course.

Al Stevens
03-06-2012, 09:48 PM
I suspect that the first time they deny someone who is otherwise qualified a spot on the ballot, if that person challenges the action in court, the requirement for the pledge will be found to be unconstitutional, at least at the state level.

nevillenox
03-06-2012, 09:49 PM
During the Reagan era there was the Meese report on pornography which read a mass of porn and concluded that looking at porn could lead to criminal behavior.

Meese also famously said that people who are suspected of crimes are guilty.

Strangely, the members of the Meese commission didn't then lock themselves up and throw away the key.

Anyway, a lot of anti-porn crusaders watch a lot of porn.

In order to warn others about its dangers, of course.

Strictly FOR RESEARCH.

Vince524
03-06-2012, 09:51 PM
During the Reagan era there was the Meese report on pornography which read a mass of porn and concluded that looking at porn could lead to criminal behavior.

Meese also famously said that people who are suspected of crimes are guilty.

Strangely, the members of the Meese commission didn't then lock themselves up and throw away the key.

Anyway, a lot of anti-porn crusaders watch a lot of porn.

In order to warn others about its dangers, of course.

Strictly FOR RESEARCH.

One handed research, of course.

Teinz
03-06-2012, 09:57 PM
Meese also famously said that people who are suspected of crimes are guilty.


He would have felt right at home with the Spanish Inquisition.

Snowstorm
03-06-2012, 09:59 PM
The Republican motto should be: Do as I say, not as I do.

Fins Left
03-06-2012, 10:07 PM
I have this nagging feeling that quite a few republican candidates couldn't past this test...

Bingo. I want to see those pledge signatures backed up with a lie-detector test!

Monkey
03-06-2012, 10:26 PM
I suspect that the first time they deny someone who is otherwise qualified a spot on the ballot, if that person challenges the action in court, the requirement for the pledge will be found to be unconstitutional, at least at the state level.

They've already said they won't do that--they recognize that they'd get smacked down. This is just a purity test, so they can say whether or not someone was willing to sign and whether or not their three-judge panel thought the person was sincere.

Devil Ledbetter
03-06-2012, 10:27 PM
Ghods, we so need at least one more party in this system. Seriously. I want one I can vote with.I'm thinking of founding the Extramarital Sex, Casual Pot Use & Birth Control For All party.

Any takers?

RichardGarfinkle
03-06-2012, 10:38 PM
I'm thinking of founding the Extramarital Sex, Casual Pot Use & Birth Control For All party.

Any takers?

Can monogamous married non drug users enter or will you have an impurity test?

tiny
03-06-2012, 10:49 PM
I didn't want to be a republican anyways so no loss here.

Devil Ledbetter
03-06-2012, 10:54 PM
Can monogamous married non drug users enter or will you have an impurity test?Well, I am one, so I should hope so.

Don
03-06-2012, 11:10 PM
I'm thinking of founding the Extramarital Sex, Casual Pot Use & Birth Control For All party.

Any takers?
Gary Johnson is planning to bring all those back to the Libertarian Party if he can manage to purge the bad taste of them having run Bob Barr in 2008 from people's minds. :D Except you'll be responsible for buying your own birth control and pot. (and arranging your own liaisons)

Sheryl Nantus
03-06-2012, 11:11 PM
You guys need to start up the Rhinoceros party like we have in Canada.

only promise is free beer.

they get votes every time.

:D

Celia Cyanide
03-06-2012, 11:34 PM
You can't even LOOK AT porn? How are you supposed to go on the internet?

MarkEsq
03-07-2012, 12:00 AM
You can't even LOOK AT porn? How are you supposed to go on the internet?

Why would you want to?

Al Stevens
03-07-2012, 12:50 AM
They've already said they won't do that--they recognize that they'd get smacked down.And, of course, we believe them.

Monkey
03-07-2012, 02:03 AM
Haha...I believe them only because it really would get them smacked down.

Grunkins
03-07-2012, 02:07 AM
I hear the swan song of the social conservative.

Gregg
03-07-2012, 03:30 AM
I have this nagging feeling that quite a few republican candidates couldn't past this test...

Nor some already in office.

But to be clear, this is the South Carolina Republicans, not the whole party...at leats I hope not.

Just silly...how are they going to verify or monitor this?
Not the image the GOP needs right now.

rhymegirl
03-07-2012, 05:59 AM
Ha ha! That link was really funny.

How many people are truly going to be able to sign that?

nevillenox
03-07-2012, 06:05 AM
Ha ha! That link was really funny.

How many people are truly going to be able to sign that?

Maybe three. Mayyybe.

thothguard51
03-07-2012, 06:29 AM
Cue the Morals police...

Maxinquaye
03-07-2012, 06:59 AM
But... does this mean Newt Gingrich can't be a republican?

That's what I want to know.

nevillenox
03-07-2012, 07:01 AM
But... does this mean Newt Gingrich can't be a republican?

That's what I want to know.

Hey, there isn't a rule against lying on that list.

clintl
03-07-2012, 07:04 AM
Rules don't apply to Gingrich.

Besides, if the Republicans won't have him, who else would want him?

Andrea_James
03-07-2012, 07:19 AM
Maybe a purity pledge will make the ramifications of the hard-core Republican party line hit home to potential voters. Then again, they can't enforce the pledge, so maybe not.

I would vote Rhinoceros Party in Canada, but Canada has the NDP. What the U.S. needs is something like Germany's Piratenpartei (Pirate Party), whose sole platform is to support freedom of information. They state that they have absolutely no interest in any other issues--but they've definitely got a voter bloc. Seriously, I would vote for a Pirate Party if it meant I didn't have to listen to the Republicans and Democrats duke it out every four years. (Edited to add: I'm a dual citizen.)

FabricatedParadise
03-07-2012, 07:28 AM
I'm sorry... but I'm not voting with any candidate who claims they don't look at porn. Puh-leaze. These days, you turn on primetime TV and it's practically pornographic. And I don't know a single guy who doesn't view something he finds arousing in order to help him get his own rocks off when he has to handle business.

nevillenox
03-07-2012, 08:48 AM
I'm sorry... but I'm not voting with any candidate who claims they don't look at porn.

I agree, but for the sake of fairness I refuse to vote for any candidate who brings up pornography at all. I mean, I know that if you want to be future president you should be open but there are just some things I don't want to know. This is one of them.

Maxinquaye
03-07-2012, 09:09 AM
Hey, there isn't a rule against lying on that list.

Yeah, my bad. It said pre-marital sex. Once you're married you can screw around as much as you want.

nevillenox
03-07-2012, 09:29 AM
Yeah, my bad. It said pre-marital sex. Once you're married you can screw around as much as you want.

Mmmhmm, pretty much.

Makes sense to me.

mccardey
03-07-2012, 09:34 AM
If you've had pre-marital sex you can't be a Republican…


I have two questions

What if you had pre-marital sex with a Republican? Would that count?

And what if you really didn't enjoy it? 'Cause I don't think you should be punished for something you didn't enjoy...

(I know there's three question marks, but it's only two questions. Really. )

mccardey
03-07-2012, 09:38 AM
Also
State GOP chairman Chad Connelly told the Chronicle that he doesn’t necessarily oppose the idea. “If we are wearing the same uniform I want to be sure we are kicking the ball toward the same goal, or are you moving against me.”


I think that's just smutty. I'm sorry, I really do.








:tongue (ooh! tongue!)

Mclesh
03-07-2012, 09:47 AM
Ha ha! That link was really funny.

How many people are truly going to be able to sign that?

I felt like I was being punked while I was reading it. It's not true, is it? And if it is -- good grief.

nevillenox
03-07-2012, 09:47 AM
I think that's just smutty. I'm sorry, I really do.

Dear God, I see it too...

mccardey
03-07-2012, 09:57 AM
Dear God, I see it too...
See, this is how it starts. Next thing you're going to have Impure Thoughts.

About Republicans.






I'm leaving this thread. It's just gone downhill. Somebody posts about a lovely little pledge and now it's all sex and dirt and tongues.

Shame on you all!






ETA: I still want someone to make an Aussie Humour Icon. It doesn't have to be very big or complicated or anything..

GeorgeK
03-07-2012, 10:20 AM
I'll stay Undeclared and keep going along with my porn and pre martial sex.

Party at Reg's house!

blacbird
03-07-2012, 12:24 PM
The Republican Party establishment is running scared all over the country. That something this outrageous would surface in the buckle of the bible belt is hardly surprising. Much of the core party establishment is currently composed of social conservatives, but they're being ousted in numerous places by the relatively young libertarian wing of the party.

Documentation, please, Don. Otherwise this is your wishful thinking. I haven't seen anything of this sort. What I see right now is the GOP having been completely taken over by the religious-driven social conservatives, with no end in sight.

caw

nighttimer
03-07-2012, 02:22 PM
If you've had pre-marital sex you can't be a Republican...

...or if you've had marital sex in any position but missionary.

....or ever engaged in oral-genital contact.

....or ever touched yourself "down there."

....or ever thought about touching yourself "down there."

...or ever had impure thoughts about any woman if you're a man.

....or ever had impure thoughts about any man if you're a man.

....and certainly not if you've ever acted on those impure thoughts, you filthy heathen liberal commie pinko Democrat.

...or if you've ever seen your spouse naked.

...or if you've woken up with morning wood.

...or if you've shaken it more than twice.

...or if you've ever checked out that cute guy/girl at the gym.

....or if you leave the lights on when you do it.

....or if you engage in copulation for recreation instead of procreation.

....or if you laugh before, after or during the deed.

...or you made her/him sleep in the wet spot.

In fact, if you've done it you can't be a Republican. Join the Democrat Party, you stinking hippie.

Priene
03-07-2012, 03:50 PM
If you've had pre-marital sex you can't be a Republican...

What about if you have sporadic lustful thoughts about TV Game Show hostesses?

Not that I myself have such things, but I may have a friend who sometimes does...

Don
03-07-2012, 06:32 PM
Documentation, please, Don. Otherwise this is your wishful thinking. I haven't seen anything of this sort. What I see right now is the GOP having been completely taken over by the religious-driven social conservatives, with no end in sight.

caw
Like I said, you won't see it on the evening news. Here's one example, though. Iowa (http://theiowarepublican.com/2012/live-blog-new-rpi-chair-election/). Iowa's new Republican Party chairman, young AJ Spiker, was a co-chair of Paul's campaign. Grey-haired Bill Schickel, who ran against him, served as co-chair with the previous state chairman.

Infighting over delegates at caucuses and county conventions is fairly common in a number of states. Even states like Georgia, where the delegates to the national convention are only bound on the first vote. Lots of voters went home after the straw polls, and county conventions are discovering that the people who stayed to become delegates weren't the Romney and Santorum supporters, which is giving county chairs a lot of heartburn. Danged if those new delegates don't have a copy of Robert's Rules of Order in their hand, too. And there are enough new people showing up for those meetings that voice votes or show of hands don't turn out the way the old county chairmen want them to any more. Which in some cases is also leading to new county chairmen.

Some of the new people are even smart enough to know how to use a camera phone and post the events on YouTube. How the war will turn out is anybody's guess, but there's certainly one going on.

It's very similar in concept to the one that Pat Buchanan triggered that ended up turning the Republican Party into a stronghold of social conservatives over the next few years, even though he didn't get far in his run for President. If Romney gets the nomination and so-cons get disheartened, they may lose their grip on the party.

All politics are local. Young people are figuring that out in droves.

MarkEsq
03-07-2012, 06:37 PM
I can't help but be reminded of that silly movement to reclaim virginity. Would it be possible, considering (I presume) these folks are Christians of a forgiving nature, for a Republican candidate to "reclaim" his pre-marital virtue?

crunchyblanket
03-08-2012, 12:00 AM
If you've had pre-marital sex you can't be a Republican…Well thank fuck for that.