how important is...

It depends. How important is her illness to the story? If it's lung cancer, it's probably pretty important. If it's chronic bunions or something, probably not as important. Does the new doctor have a bearing on the story? Does she go back to him later on?

If it's not too long and you think it sheds some light on the MC, then I wouldn't see a huge problem. But it's up to you to decide if it works.

Only include things that move the story forward or gives the reader info that is needed for plot or characterization. If the info at the doc office, like you would find on an intake form, is not important to the plot of the story then you don't need it.

I'd gloss it over, she sat in the office, maybe observed the decor, and gets handed the form and maybe have her fill out one question, and then mentally complain about the personal questions. Short shows she was there and her attitude towards the doc and the questions wihtout going into details the reader doesn't need.

daydreameriam1 said:

THank you both. Yes, I just might try glossing over it and see what happens. Several readers say they like the conversation between the two and I do too. but at the same time i may try to cut some of it. Thanks again.

Click to expand...

you can cut, leave, or work it in later....

BeckySue sat down in her Pinto and turned the key. The engine snarled, whined, then finally submitted. She backed out of her spot, trying not to think about the conversation. Cancer. Christ. She wanted a cigarette--was that irony? She couldn't remember, high school English was far behind her.

The doctor had been slim, athletic, and good-looking. The type who wouldn't have spared her a second glance in a bar, and the type who practically fawned over her now, because he could tell himself he was being a good doctor and a good Christian for giving her a death sentence with almost ass-kissing levels of sympathy.

"OK, Miss," and here he had double-checked his chart, professional in his expensive glasses and silk tie, "Miss Walters, we've had the chance to look at your X-rays. You can see the lungs here, and the smaller spots here, here, and here..."

She felt herself falling away somewhere as he continued to work the tip of his pen back and forth across the X-rays like a conductor. She could barely hear him. The only words she clearly remembered after that were "cancer" and "transplant". She wouldn't live long enough to see the latter, but she was going to learn all about the former. She bit her tongue until she tasted blood to keep from crying.
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something like that, so you can hit the ground running instead of having pages of setup to detail going into the clinic, going through registration, the entire check-up, etc. in a linear manner.

If you keep the scene, let the conversation reveal something about the character that keeps your story on track. I wouldn't throw in random scenes unrelated to what's going on if it is following a traditional plot.

You can decide on the length based on how much work the scene is doing for your story.

It depends on the context of your story. If you're trying to get the story done, you can do something and come back to change it later. In fact, it might be better to do so because you'll know how the scene effects the story and whether you can just kind of gloss over it or not.

Like everybody says, unless the info is vital to the workings of your story, gloss it. I found myself grappling with this problem yesterday. The captain is waiting for communication to arrive, he needs to work with the ships doctor when the information arrives. I found myself attending to the detail of who announced that the message was there, who contacted the doctor, and then I realized I would cut that all in the revision, so I ended up finding a way to gloss it, but it took a bit of thought to do it without clumsiness. Next time I encountered that situation in the story (a big part of the tension is - can the two parties successfully communicate without any common linguistic or cultural reference) I had a much easier time glossing and getting to the meat.

My opinion is write it anyway if it helps you continue writing. You can always take it out later when the writing is done.