After years of lurking and reading posts here only, I finally overcame my awkwardness at making connections to other fiction writers and related individuals in publishing - and here I am (insert sounds of chirping crickets here). I know, big deal.
In a nutshell, John X. Grey is my pen name since either 1999 or 2000, since I now forget when I decided on using it in writing my first horror novel entitled The Nightmare of Aarontown which took almost ten months between August 1999 and June 2000. Struggling for years and getting nowhere with every query or submission to all the agents, editors and publishers who found my fiction rejectionable (is that a word, hmm), finally in late June 2009, as I was almost burnt out working as a shady telemarketer, the now out-of-business small publisher Leucrota Press accepted one of 14 stories I submitted to its Abaculus III Anthology, entitled "Saved by a Damsel in Distress," the second short story I ever wrote back in 2000. From that first success in publication, John X. Grey has appeared in more short story and poetry anthologies from puslishers such as Lame Goat Press (also out-of-business but resurrected under a new name), Aurora Wolf Press, Static Movement (most of the books I appear in are from there), Pill Hill Press and Shade City Press (Lame Goat reborn).
In February 2011, I sold my first story for 1/4 cent per word to Pill Hill - "The Vampire Hunter's Requiem" for their anthology Leather, Denim & Silver: Legends of the Monster Hunter, but to date (6/30/2011) have yet to make any other sale, returning to the painful and predictable pattern of being rejected with the usual unspecific reasons or sometimes missing out on making the cut for a limited number of story slots.
I have invested so much of my expectations for personal happiness in achieving my dream of becoming a full-fledged professional (though not necessarily best-selling) author that now with my personal life in shambles, the dream of writing for a living seems more impossible now. I have been unable since November 2009 to find any decent full-time job for supporting self and am threatened with loss of unemployment benefits in Ohio for refusing a 15-hr. per week part-time job where I figured out I was unsuitable for it after learning more about the people I would be working with if taking it during the interview. In fact it was a care companion service for MR/DD clients, and I've never worked with such individuals, assuming from the job description mentioning "disabled" adults and children would be like taking care of my health-declining parents back in 2004-06. I'm staring bankruptcy in the face, with the subsequent possibe loss of my home over property taxes unless I could sell it quickly, and even then I have nowhere else to go.
I had faith and hope that this year my big enough break would finally come after a decade of failure and recent non-paying market breakthroughs getting exposure. Sadly, I was a loser at the Amazon Breakthrough Novel Award Contest in February eliminated during the pitch stage with my parallel world travel novel Worldjumpers, was rejected by Angry Robot Books in late March during their open door book submission month period sending my 20th Century vampire hunter novel A Legacy of Blood, and lost at The Suvudu Editorial Review Contest from Del Ray Books in May again with Worldjumpers. As if those three crushing blows were not enough to warp my morale, this month Tor.com finally got around after almost eight months to reject my 6,000-word fantasy short story "Maze's - The Biggest Little Convenience Store" for no apparent reason (as they must do with close to 100% of the stories they receive). Every rejection is driving me closer to utter despair and madness, and I know there are those who will say "you can't take it personally" and "keep on trying" or "don't give up." After twelve years, despite having 45 flash fiction or longer short stories (2 reprinted), 1 novella and 11 poems published in 36 (39 counting reprints) different anthologies at a few small presses, with another 9 (not counting another of the earlier ones to be reprinted) stories and 3 poems accepted for publication sometime later this year, I feel defeated by the publishing industry. I have no financial means to go the self-publishing route now, nor the expensive software to even design an eye-catching cover for any book if I could self-publish.
I might eventually get published in dozens more small press anthologies and no agent, publisher, editor or book review would ever love my work or think I will ever have any commercial potential or name recognition as a novel writer. I'm guessing lacking connections to this industry has been my single greatest weakness in this endeavor.
Any useful advice on how to get any of my unpublished novels out there taken seriously or prayers for my holding on to any remaining sanity and somehow maintaining a will to go on living would be appreciated.
My website is http://theanticelebrityjohnxgrey.weebly.com/ but a lot of self-loathing about my failure comes through there sometimes of the accentuate the negative and ignore the positive kind. It does list my unpublished novels along with sample first chapters from three of them. I intend posting a first chapter from my fourth original novel sometime in July. I also have a page at Amazon.com () listing the published story and poetry collections in which my work has appeared and a brief bio.
Maybe something good or satisfying can result from all this effort yet.
In a nutshell, John X. Grey is my pen name since either 1999 or 2000, since I now forget when I decided on using it in writing my first horror novel entitled The Nightmare of Aarontown which took almost ten months between August 1999 and June 2000. Struggling for years and getting nowhere with every query or submission to all the agents, editors and publishers who found my fiction rejectionable (is that a word, hmm), finally in late June 2009, as I was almost burnt out working as a shady telemarketer, the now out-of-business small publisher Leucrota Press accepted one of 14 stories I submitted to its Abaculus III Anthology, entitled "Saved by a Damsel in Distress," the second short story I ever wrote back in 2000. From that first success in publication, John X. Grey has appeared in more short story and poetry anthologies from puslishers such as Lame Goat Press (also out-of-business but resurrected under a new name), Aurora Wolf Press, Static Movement (most of the books I appear in are from there), Pill Hill Press and Shade City Press (Lame Goat reborn).
In February 2011, I sold my first story for 1/4 cent per word to Pill Hill - "The Vampire Hunter's Requiem" for their anthology Leather, Denim & Silver: Legends of the Monster Hunter, but to date (6/30/2011) have yet to make any other sale, returning to the painful and predictable pattern of being rejected with the usual unspecific reasons or sometimes missing out on making the cut for a limited number of story slots.
I have invested so much of my expectations for personal happiness in achieving my dream of becoming a full-fledged professional (though not necessarily best-selling) author that now with my personal life in shambles, the dream of writing for a living seems more impossible now. I have been unable since November 2009 to find any decent full-time job for supporting self and am threatened with loss of unemployment benefits in Ohio for refusing a 15-hr. per week part-time job where I figured out I was unsuitable for it after learning more about the people I would be working with if taking it during the interview. In fact it was a care companion service for MR/DD clients, and I've never worked with such individuals, assuming from the job description mentioning "disabled" adults and children would be like taking care of my health-declining parents back in 2004-06. I'm staring bankruptcy in the face, with the subsequent possibe loss of my home over property taxes unless I could sell it quickly, and even then I have nowhere else to go.
I had faith and hope that this year my big enough break would finally come after a decade of failure and recent non-paying market breakthroughs getting exposure. Sadly, I was a loser at the Amazon Breakthrough Novel Award Contest in February eliminated during the pitch stage with my parallel world travel novel Worldjumpers, was rejected by Angry Robot Books in late March during their open door book submission month period sending my 20th Century vampire hunter novel A Legacy of Blood, and lost at The Suvudu Editorial Review Contest from Del Ray Books in May again with Worldjumpers. As if those three crushing blows were not enough to warp my morale, this month Tor.com finally got around after almost eight months to reject my 6,000-word fantasy short story "Maze's - The Biggest Little Convenience Store" for no apparent reason (as they must do with close to 100% of the stories they receive). Every rejection is driving me closer to utter despair and madness, and I know there are those who will say "you can't take it personally" and "keep on trying" or "don't give up." After twelve years, despite having 45 flash fiction or longer short stories (2 reprinted), 1 novella and 11 poems published in 36 (39 counting reprints) different anthologies at a few small presses, with another 9 (not counting another of the earlier ones to be reprinted) stories and 3 poems accepted for publication sometime later this year, I feel defeated by the publishing industry. I have no financial means to go the self-publishing route now, nor the expensive software to even design an eye-catching cover for any book if I could self-publish.
I might eventually get published in dozens more small press anthologies and no agent, publisher, editor or book review would ever love my work or think I will ever have any commercial potential or name recognition as a novel writer. I'm guessing lacking connections to this industry has been my single greatest weakness in this endeavor.
Any useful advice on how to get any of my unpublished novels out there taken seriously or prayers for my holding on to any remaining sanity and somehow maintaining a will to go on living would be appreciated.
My website is http://theanticelebrityjohnxgrey.weebly.com/ but a lot of self-loathing about my failure comes through there sometimes of the accentuate the negative and ignore the positive kind. It does list my unpublished novels along with sample first chapters from three of them. I intend posting a first chapter from my fourth original novel sometime in July. I also have a page at Amazon.com () listing the published story and poetry collections in which my work has appeared and a brief bio.
Maybe something good or satisfying can result from all this effort yet.
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