TASK 1 ENTRIES

[Joe Calabrese]

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ENTRY #1
TITLE: DEAD LINE

INSPIRED FROM ARTICLE 2: America's most dangerous jobs

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ENTRY #1
DEAD LINE



In the style of the 1930s.

FADE IN:

EXT. CITY STREET - NIGHT

Made slick by torrential rain.

A car pulls up outside a darkened Gothic building.

Lights and engine are turned off.


EXT. BUILDING ENTRANCE - NIGHT

Several business plates gleam alongside intercom buttons:

BON MOT PROMOTIONS
SILVER DOLLAR LOAN COMPANY
PHOENIX TALENT AGENCY
KRUGER INVESTIGATIONS


INT. HALLWAY - NIGHT

With a stairway at the far end.

Black writing on a frosted glass door panel says:

J. KRUGER
PRIVATE INVESTIGATIONS
DISCREET - PERSONAL

Footsteps on the stairs... JOHNNY KRUGER climbs into view,
his slouch hat and raincoat soaking wet.


INT. OUTER OFFICE - NIGHT

Where the secretary sits, if Johnny could afford one. A
closed inner door leads to Johnny's office.

Johnny enters, turning on the light. He takes off his hat
and throws it, it misses the hat stand by a mile and lands
on the floor. He shrugs off his coat, hangs it up. He's
around 30, handsome in a beaten up kind of way.

The secretary's phone and the phone in Johnny's office both
RING. Johnny picks up his hat, hangs it up.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
2.


INT. JOHNNY'S OFFICE - NIGHT

The phones continue to RING as Johnny sits down behind his
desk. He opens a file cabinet drawer, takes out a bottle,
pours himself a glass of whiskey. He cradles the receiver
in his neck, leans back, puts his feet up on his desk.

JOHNNY (INTO PHONE)
Kruger Investigations. You lost it,
we'll find it.

CLICK. Dead line. He stares at the receiver, hangs up.
Empties his glass. Smacks his lips.

He opens a desk drawer and takes out a BIG REVOLVER. He
cracks it open, checks it's loaded with six big bullets,
snaps it shut and places it in the open drawer, ready to
grab if he needs it.


INT. HALLWAY OUTSIDE JOHNNY'S OFFICE - NIGHT

Footsteps and a big shadow come up the stairway.


INT. JOHNNY'S OFFICE - NIGHT

Johnny pours himself another drink.


INT. HALLWAY OUTSIDE JOHNNY'S OFFICE - NIGHT

A big shadow falls across the frosted glass door panel. A
big gloved hand pushes the door open.


INT. OUTER OFFICE - NIGHT

The big shadow falls across the door to Johnny's office.


INT. JOHNNY'S OFFICE - NIGHT

Johnny swallows his drink. He looks at the door.

JOHNNY
It's open.

The door opens and the BIGGEST GUY WE'VE EVER SEEN fills the
doorway. His face is chiseled from granite. His hooded
eyes take in the shabby office, then fix on Johnny. Water
drips from his outsized raincoat, making a puddle.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
3.


JOHNNY (CONT'D)
Glad you could drop by. Nice weather
we're having, huh?

The Biggest Guy slips his hand inside his raincoat. Johnny
snatches up his gun and LETS HIM HAVE IT. Six sizzlers in
the chest!

The Biggest Guy grimaces and clutches his blood-spattered
coat. He staggers, groans, and timbers back into the outer
office. The impact shakes the building.

Johnny cracks his smoking revolver open and reloads using
bullets from the drawer. He sticks his gun down his pants
belt and ambles over to the Biggest Guy.


INT. OUTER OFFICE - NIGHT

Johnny steps over the body and closes the hallway door.

He sits down on the edge of the secretary's desk, picks up
the phone, dials a number.

JOHNNY (INTO PHONE)
Sergeant Novello, please. Mr. Johnny
Kruger calling. Yes I'll hold.

While he waits for an answer, Johnny looks down at the Biggest
Guy, whose gloved hand is halfway inside his coat and appears
to be clutching... an envelope.

Johnny frowns. He lays the receiver down and takes a closer
look. He gingerly takes the envelope from the dead man's
hand, turns it over and reads it. A single line of neat
writing:

"Personal Delivery - Mr. J. Kruger."

An ANGRY MALE VOICE buzzes from the receiver, Johnny snatches
it up.

JOHNNY (INTO PHONE) (CONT'D)
Hey Tony, it's Johnny Kruger. So
guess what? I'm looking at a three-
hundred pound lump of muscle lying
dead on my carpet with six slugs in
his heart.

Johnny opens the envelope with one hand while the angry voice
buzzes in his ear.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
4.


JOHNNY (INTO PHONE) (CONT'D)
Never saw him before. He opened the
door, drew a gun and took a shot at
me. Well, I didn't feel like pausing
for an introduction. Old Faithful
jumped into my hand and I let him
have it.

Inside the envelope, a single sheet of paper with a paper-
clipped 50 dollar bill. Johnny unfolds the letter and reads
it with interest while the angry voice buzzes.

JOHNNY (INTO PHONE) (CONT'D)
Nah, he's not the jealous husband
type. Looks more like a professional
heavyweight boxer. Am I glad he
didn't use me as a punchbag.

More angry buzzing.

JOHNNY (INTO PHONE) (CONT'D)
Sure, I'm not going anywhere. Thanks,
Tony. And wear a coat. It's coming
down.

Johnny hangs up and goes back into his office, stepping over
the body.


INT. JOHNNY'S OFFICE - NIGHT

Johnny pushes the filing cabinet to one side to reveal a
damp patch of wall. Buried in the wall, A BULLET in a cracked
hole.

He takes a smaller revolver from another desk drawer and
cracks it open. Five bullets. The sixth chamber is empty.


INT. OUTER OFFICE - NIGHT

Johnny puts the gun in the Biggest Guy's hand, closing the
dead fingers around the butt.

He searches the body and pulls out the Biggest Guy's WALLET.
It contains a DRIVER'S LICENSE in the name of JOEY VREES,
and a wad of green. Johnny takes 5 dollars, leaving the
other money in the wallet, and puts the wallet back.

JOHNNY
That's for the bullets, you dumb
schmuck.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
5.


INT. JOHNNY'S OFFICE - NIGHT

Johnny sits down, pours himself another drink, throws it
back. He sighs. He picks up the letter and reads it again.
(We'll meet LILY soon, she sounds young and attractive.)

LILY (V.O.)
Dear Mr. Kruger. Desperate
circumstances force me to seek your
expertise in a matter of some
delicacy. The bearer of this letter,
Mr. Vrees, will bring you to me, if
you are willing. If you are not, I
trust that the enclosed fifty dollar
deposit will purchase your silence.
Sincerely, Miss Lily Chapel.

Johnny holds the 50 dollar bill up to the light.

JOHNNY
I'm very pleased to meet you, Miss
Chapel.


EXT. CITY STREET - NIGHT

Still pouring o' rain. A cop car pulls up behind Johnny's
car.


INT. HALLWAY OUTSIDE JOHNNY'S OFFICE - NIGHT

Feet pound up the stairway.


INT. OUTER OFFICE - NIGHT

SERGEANT TONY NOVELLO, 35, a plainclothes 'tec, enters
followed by TWO UNIFORM COPS. They study the Biggest Guy's
corpse with interest. Novello steps into Johnny's office,
noting the gun in the Biggest Guy's hand.


INT. JOHNNY'S OFFICE - NIGHT

Johnny salutes Novello with his glass.

JOHNNY
Join me in a toast, Sarge?

NOVELLO
Knock it off, ace. Who is he?

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
6.


JOHNNY
Driver's license says Joey Vrees.

NOVELLO
What's he to you?

JOHNNY
I told you. I never saw him before.

Novello sits on the edge of the desk and picks up the whiskey
bottle, it's quarter full.

NOVELLO
Been hitting it pretty hard, ace.

JOHNNY
It isn't every night I kill a man.

Novello notices the bullet hole in the wall.

NOVELLO
Guess he shouldn't have tried to
plug you. Couple inches to the right,
he would've blown your brains out.

JOHNNY
Lucky for me, huh?

Cop #1 brings the Biggest Guy's gun and wallet to Novello,
who opens the wallet and reads the Driver's License.

NOVELLO
Joey Vrees. Got a feeling I should
know that name.

He counts the money in the wallet.

NOVELLO (CONT'D)
Over seventy bucks here. Wonder
what Mr. Vrees did for a living?

JOHNNY
You know, if some of that dough was
to find its way into the Police
Benevolent Fund, I wouldn't say
anything. What with the swell job
you guys do.

With a cynical smile Novello counts 20 bucks, drops it onto
Johnny's desk. He slips a 10 to each of the Cops, takes 20
for himself, puts the change back. He gives the wallet to
Cop #1 who returns it to the corpse.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
7.


Johnny takes the money as Novello cracks open the gun and
checks it.

JOHNNY (CONT'D)
You always play square, Tony. I
like that about you. Some guys--

NOVELLO
You remember Mack Eastman? I started
out with him. Best damn detective I
ever knew. Mack once told me about
this dirty cop, he always carried
two guns. One for himself, the other
to put into the hand of anyone who
crossed him. He'd blast a couple
bullets from the second gun into a
wall, then claim the guy he just
shot tried to ventilate him. Me, I
don't see anything wrong with that.
He greased a lot of bad guys who
deserved it. But this one time he
made a mistake. The guy he shot
only had one arm. His right hand
was like a store dummy's, you know?
Made out of wood. Only he wore a
glove, so the cop didn't know.

Johnny looks at the Biggest Guy's GLOVED HAND. Cop #2 peels
the glove off. The hand underneath is real. Johnny starts
breathing again.

JOHNNY
So what happened?

NOVELLO
He rode the lightning. Mack said
lights went out all over the county.
They didn't restore power till next
morning.

JOHNNY
Hell of a story. Sure you don't
want a drink?

NOVELLO
Get this, ace. Nowadays they can
tell if someone fired a gun. The
chemical residue covers the shooter's
hand. Can you believe it? Invisible
to the eye, but boy does it show up
in the crime lab.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
8.


Novello beckons to Cop #2 to bring him the glove. Novello
holds up a trash can, Cop #2 drops the glove in. Novello
sprinkles whiskey into the can, puts it down on the desk,
strikes a match and WHOOMPH! the glove goes up in flames.

JOHNNY
You're destroying evidence. More
importantly, you're wasting good
whiskey.

NOVELLO
So this guy Vrees. He decides to
climb three flights of stairs so he
can shoot a complete stranger. How
do you figure that?

JOHNNY
Maybe he was a hit man. There's
plenty of people don't like me.

NOVELLO
I don't like you, ace. You're a
thorn in my foot.

Johnny reaches for the bottle, Novello snatches it away.

JOHNNY
You arresting me for drinking?

NOVELLO
There's something you're not telling
me. I want to know what it is.

JOHNNY
I wouldn't hold out on you, Tony.
Not for all the pasta in Little Italy.

Novello sighs with frustration and gives Johnny his bottle.

NOVELLO
Don't get plastered. The meat wagon's
on its way. You gotta help them
carry your three-hundred pound friend
downstairs.

JOHNNY
My pleasure.

On the way out Novello pauses to talk to Cop #1. He jerks
his thumb at Johnny. Cop #1 nods understanding. Novella
exits taking Cop #2 with him.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
9.


Cop #1 takes off his hat and sits down. He looks pointedly
at the bottle. Johnny finds another glass and pours three
fingers. Cop #1 grins his appreciation and knocks it back.

JOHNNY (CONT'D)
I gotta go take a leak. Be back in
a minute. Don't go away.

Johnny exits. Cop #1 helps himself to another drink.


INT. OUTER OFFICE - NIGHT

Johnny grabs his hat and coat from the hat stand and exits
into the hallway.


EXT. BUILDING ENTRANCE - NIGHT

Rain lashes the street. The cop car is gone. Johnny stands
in the doorway and looks up and down the street, searching.


EXT. CITY STREET - NIGHT

Across the street, a car sits parked beside a phone booth.

Johnny hurries across the street. He peers into the car,
it's empty. He looks around, then slips a jimmy out of his
pocket and pops the driver's door in a second.


INT. CAR - NIGHT

Johnny climbs in. He rummages in the glovebox, checks out
the back seat, finds a folded newspaper. There's a B/W
picture of a smiling man (AVONDALE, 30s) wearing a sharp
suit, and a girl (LILY, 25), very pretty and smartly dressed.
Avondale directs Lily to cut a ribbon using scissors.

The headline says, GENEROUS BUSINESSMAN OPENS NEW ORPHANAGE.

Under this, "Mr. Beauregard Avondale And His Fianceé Miss
Lily Chapel Do The Honors. City's Children Will Benefit
From His Benevolence."

JOHNNY
We meet again, Miss Chapel.


INT. PHONE BOOTH - NIGHT

Johnny tucks the newspaper under his arm, dials a number.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
10.


JOHNNY (INTO PHONE)
Operator, I'm looking for the number
of a Miss Lily Chapel.

The buzzing voice of the female OPERATOR.

JOHNNY (INTO PHONE) (CONT'D)
No I don't, but maybe you can help
me out here. This is Detective
Sergeant Anthony Novello, I'm working
out of the Thirteenth Precinct, we're
very concerned about Miss Chapel and
I really need her phone number.

The buzzing voice takes on a note of excitement.

JOHNNY (INTO PHONE) (CONT'D)
Yes I'll hold, thank you.

He stares at the photograph. Becoming mesmerized by Lily
Chapel's smile. The buzzing voice makes a report. Johnny
finds a pencil stub and scribbles on the newspaper.

JOHNNY (INTO PHONE) (CONT'D)
That's great, thank you Operator,
yes put me through please.

RINGING TONE... Johnny draws a mustache on Avondale's face.

LILY (FILTERED)
Scottsdale Five-Six-Oh-Three.

JOHNNY (INTO PHONE)
I'm looking for Lily Chapel.

LILY (FILTERED)
May I ask who is calling?

JOHNNY (INTO PHONE)
My name is Kruger. I'm a private--

LILY (FILTERED)
I'm afraid you have the wrong number.
There's no one of that name here.

Johnny gets wise...

JOHNNY (INTO PHONE)
Look, Miss Chapel, there's been an
accident. Something happened to
Joey Vrees. I've got your address.
Can I come over?

CLICK. Dead line.

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[Joe Calabrese]

NOTE TO VOTERS:
When judging, do not weigh FORMATTING heavily. Only one vote for your favorite script.

ENTRY #2
TITLE: REGRET
INSPIRED FROM ARTICLE 1: Crowds go ape over human zoo exhibit

If this is your favorite, Please PM UltimateSWChallenge (http://absolutewrite.com/forums/private.php?do=newpm&u=4128) with REGRET or ENTRY 2 in the Subject line.



ENTRY #2
"REGRET"




Screen is BLACK. A MAN is heard in voice over.

MAN (V.O.)
At least once in every man's life
there is something he regrets.

FADE IN:

INT. APARTMENT LIVING ROOM -- NIGHT

The room is an upscale New York apartment, filled with
pleasures normally only the rich enjoy. The room has an air
of perfection in it, with every facet seeming to work
together to create the perfect room. WHIMPERING is HEARD from
another room in the apartment.

INT. APARTMENT BATHROOM -- CONTINUOUS

A MAN is seen on his knees in front of the toilet, sobbing
quietly. The mirror above the sink is shattered. He would be
an upstanding gentleman under any other circumstances. As of
now, he is still dressed in his fine imported suit, his
expensive briefcase laying at his feet, but he is a mess. His
hands are over his face, and he seems to be repeating a
mumbled phrase over and over.

FADE TO:

INT. TELEVISION SCREEN -- MORNING

A WOMAN is seen on the television screen. She is a reporter,
holding a microphone in one hand and standing in front of a
New York skyscraper. It is sometime in the MORNING, between
breakfast and lunch. The DATE in the lower right corner
appears 9/24/05. She is halfway through a report when the
screen fades in. She talks in a calm, professional manner
befitting her profession.

WOMAN
--were notified and responded
promptly to the scene. The gunshots
were heard earlier this morning,
coming from inside of the Syntech
building located in New York. The
building, which houses some of the
world's largest pharmaceutical
companies, opened earlier this
month to contra--

THE TELEVISION SCREEN CUTS TO BLACK.

CUT TO:

INT. SMALL APARTMENT -- CONTINIOUS

An OLD MAN and an OLD WOMAN sit in two worn out easy chairs,
facing the now dead television. The apartment is run down,
small, and in a bad section of town. The couple appears
happy, however, and the room is filled with small mementos
that seem to radiate love.

OLD MAN
Ehh, what is the world coming to?
All these crazy young hoodlums with
their gangs and guns. Sheesh.

OLD WOMAN
Honey, it's alright. Nothing for
you to worry about. Don't want to
get your heart racing again, do
you?

OLD MAN
I'm not worried! I'm just saying,
it's a bad world for a person to
grow up in.

OLD WOMAN
They'll make it, don't you worry,
they'll make it. Our grandchildren
will only be strengthened by this
world. Now, what do you want for
breakfast?

FADE TO:

INT. APARTMENT LIVING ROOM -- MORNING

The rich apartment is as it was before, with chaos and order
clashing. The MAN is getting dressed, putting on a new suit
and tie, briefcase lying on the bed. The man studies how he
looks in the mirror, then, satisfied, turns and walks towards
the apartment door.

INT. UPSCALE APARTMENT BUILDING HALLWAY -- MOMENTS LATER

The MAN walks out of his apartment, walks down the ominous
richly-decorated hallway, and through the door into the
stairwell. The sound of his feet running down the stairs is
heard.

EXT. APARTMENT BUILDING -- MOMENTS LATER

The MAN walks out of the doors of the lobby and walks towards
the PARKING LOT with confidence.
He walks towards his car, opens the door, throws his
briefcase onto one seat, and gets in. Moments later the car
speeds off down the road.

CUT TO:

INT. TELEVISION SCREEN -- DAY

The same WOMAN reporter as before fills up the screen,
microphone in hand. She is standing in front of the SynTech
skyscraper, where crowds are milling around it behind her.
The day is sunning, and she appears happy. In the lower right
corner of the screen the DATE 9/18/05 is seen.

WOMAN
--as the day of the opening of the
new pharmaceutical building in New
York City, dubbed the SynTech
building. It was created by a joint
deal of several pharmaceutical
companies, who decided to pool
together their resources for
research and testing new drugs. Now
these companies can worry more
about their patients and creating
new cures to disease affecting the
populace rather than who is
stealing trade-secrets and how to
market products against other
companies. There is some debate,
however, around the SynTe--

The television screen cuts to black.

CUT TO:

EXT. SYNTECH SKYSCRAPER -- MORNING

It is a normal, busy street in New York, the business crowds
coming and going in the morning. A familiar car speeds by the
front of the building, and turns a corner and parks in the
SynTech parking lot behind it. The MAN exits the car, grabs
his briefcase, and walks towards the front of the building. A
DOORMAN greets the MAN as he walks by, and the MAN simply
nods, a smile on his face. The MAN enters the revolving door
and disappears into the lobby.

CUT TO:

INT. TELEVISION SCREEN -- AFTERNOON

The WOMAN reporter appears on the television screen again,
with the same microphone and professional attitude. She is
standing in front of a skyscraper under construction, which
looks like the SynTech building. Behind the WOMAN, a large
crowd mills about, different from the one when the building
opened. This crowd is angry, protesting something.
They carry large signs and chant rhymes. In the lower right,
the DATE appears 7/13/05.

WOMAN
--standing in front of what has
been called the SynTech building, a
breakthrough skyscraper designed to
unite the major world
pharmaceutical companies. The
building has been under
construction for some time, and is
scheduled to be completed in the
next few months. However, as you
can see behind me, not everyone is
pleased with this prospect. A few
weeks back it was discovered that
one of the major partners, TRUETT
Inc. had been heavily using
animals, such as primates, in their
testing of new drugs. This stirred
up protests around the world, from
animal-rights groups such as PETA
to more extreme, lesser known
groups such as the NLW. The NLW, or
Natural Law of the World, was
especially outraged, and have taken
to actively protesting the
construction of the new building,
as you can see behind me. Now, with
us today, we have a SPOKESMAN for
the NLW.

SPOKESMAN enters the screen from the right, and faces the
woman. He is an older, unruly gentleman, but still
controlled.

WOMAN
Hello, and thank you for joining
us. Now, I'll get right to it: what
does the NLW hope to accomplish by
boycotting the construction of this
pharmaceutical building?

SPOKESMAN
Well, frankly, this TRUETT company
crap is simply wrong. Hopefully any
morally-guided human being can see
that. Thousands dead yet the world
adverts its glare.

WOMAN
Thousands, sir?

SPOKESMAN
Why, yes. Thousands of monkeys are
dead as a result of drug testing by
this horrible, inhuman company.

WOMAN
If this is the case, why are not
more animal-rights groups
supporting the protest of this
building?

SPOKESMAN
Many of those other, so called
'animal-rights' groups are too
politically-correct. They say they
care about animals, but in reality
they simply desire the attention
and funds they receive. Doesn't
anyone realize that we are no
better than apes ourselves? We
imprison and experiment on these
creatures, when we are just like
them. We are caged just like they
are. We simply have a bigger cell:
society. In order for everything to
be right, we must destroy this
unnatural society we have created;
we must revert back to our natural
state.

WOMAN
Sir, are you talking about the
destruction of the government?

SPOKESMAN
Not just the government, no. But
the downfall of civilization. It
must happen if we are ever going to
progress as a race. We must return
to our roots, we must start again.

WOMAN
Doesn't that seem a little extreme,
sir?

SPOKESMAN
Damn right. Maybe it will take
something a little extreme for
modern humans to overcome their
ignorance and open their eyes to
the situation.

WOMAN
Ok...one last question. Now it was
reported that certain prominent
figures in the scientific and
business fields in New York have
voiced support for your cause. Is
there a particular reason for this?

SPOKESMAN
Well, of course there is. They have
seen the light! And, I realize you
are probably talking about MILES.
He deserves most of the credit. He
was absolutely invaluable in not
only organizing this protest but
also fun--

Television screen CUTS to BLACK.

INT. SYNTECH LOBBY -- MORNING

The LOBBY of the skyscraper is bustling as always, upstanding
New York business men scurrying about in their routine. Some
sit on benches off to the side, reading papers. Some talk on
their cell phones in rapid, hushed voices. A large desk sits
at the far end, with a RECEPTIONIST behind it, busy answering
questions and phone calls. The MAN enters the room through
the revolving door and walks towards the elevators at the far
end. He blends in with the crowd. When the MAN reaches the
elevator, he waits with the crowd of people already there.
The elevator door opens momentarily and the crowd walks in,
along with the MAN.

INT. ELEVATOR -- CONTINUOUS

There is barely enough room in the cramped elevator, but
somehow the crowd manages to fit, including the MAN, who
stands towards the back. The crowd looks nearly all the same,
dressed in expensive suits with expensive briefcases, serious
looks adorning their faces. A PING is heard as the elevator
door closes, and the elevator moves upwards. The MAN looks
bored.

INT. TELEVISION SCREEN -- EVENING

The WOMAN reporter appears on the screen, complete with
microphone and peppy smile. This time she is standing in
front of what appears to be an exhibit in the zoo. People
walk around behind her, staring at something in the distance.
There is chatter, but the WOMAN is heard over it. In the
lower left of the screen, the word LONDON appears, and in the
lower right, the DATE is 6/03/05.

WOMAN
--re with a SPOKESWOMAN for the
London Zoo.

Another woman, a SPOKESWOMAN, enters the shot, facing the
reporter, ready to be interviewed. She is calm and
professional.

WOMAN
So, what did the London Zoo and the
participants hope to accomplish
with this demonstration?

SPOKESWOMAN
Well, we wanted something that
would garner a lot of attention,
especially towards how we as humans
treat primates. We wanted people to
go "Why are there people in there?"
Seeing people in a different
environment, among other animals,
it really teaches members of the
public that the human is just
another primate.

INT. TELEVISION SCREEN -- CONTINUOUS

Shots of the zoo are seen on the TELEVISION SCREEN. The
crowds mill about, staring at the people in the cages,
dressed in natural fashion. The people appear like apes,
wearing nothing but the bare necessities. Visitors laugh,
gawk, stare, and point at the caged humans. In one shot, the
MAN is seen, staring at the exhibit. He is wearing his suit,
briefcase in hand. His head is slightly lopsided, and he
stares off at this exhibit lost in thought.

INT. TELEVISION SCREEN -- CONTINUOUS

The WOMAN reporter again fills the TELEVISION SCREEN, now
alone in front of the crowd.

WOMAN
It is refreshing to see such a
wonderful, creative, and peaceful
way to protest an accept--

CUT TO:

INT. SYNTECH RESEARCH LABS -- MORNING

The elevator doors slide open, and several businessmen walk
out of it, including the MAN. The room is a standard research
and testing laboratory, pale white, with SCIENTISTS moving
about, conducting research. Beakers, test tubes, and other
scientific equipment lay about, and several animals,
including monkeys, are seen in cages. The MAN stands in front
of the now closed elevator doors for a second, briefcase
still in hand, observing the men moving about him. A
SCIENTIST then notices the MAN and walks up to him, prepared
to shake his hand.

MAN (V.O.)
Sometimes you can never make up for
your past mistakes.

The MAN stares at the SCIENTIST for a moment with a look of
boredom, contemplating, but this turns into a look of disgust
when he looks back at the caged monkeys. The MAN places his
briefcase on one pale countertop, opens it up and pulls out a
.45 pistol. The MAN holds it at his side for a second,
hesitant, and the SCIENTIST's eyes grow wide. A monkey in a
cage chirps, and the MAN raises the pistol and promptly
shoots the SCIENTIST in the head. Brains splatter over the
sterile looking room.

MAN (V.O.)
Sometimes you can.

Several other SCIENTISTS in the room turn to face the source
of the gunshot. The MAN proceeds to shoot each of them, blood
covering the equipment. In total, six bodies litter the floor
when the MAN is done. He then walks over to the animal
cages, filled with scared primates. The MAN opens the cages
and lets the monkeys out. The monkeys leap to freedom and
skitter across the bloody floor. The MAN has a satisfied and
relieved look on his face, then places the .45 to his own
head and pulls the trigger. On one wall hangs a calendar,
which reads the day as 9/24/05.

CUT TO:

INT. TELEVISION SCREEN -- NIGHT

The WOMAN reporter's face fills the screen. This time she is
sitting behind a large desk in the anchor area at the news
station. She looks comfortable as she thumbs through the
papers in front of her while waiting to speak. The DATE
5/13/05 is in the lower right corner of the screen.

WOMAN
Tonight we have a special report,
the next part of our continual
nightly series, "Thirty People
Under Thirty Who Will Change the
World." Tonight we will introduce
you to MILES TRUETT--

The face of the MAN appears in one corner of the screen.

WOMAN
--an up and coming business man who
may very well change the way the
average person views pharmaceutical
companies. With the creation of his
own company, TRUETT Inc. this past
year, business has been booming.
Things are looking up more than
ever now for this young
businessman, with the negotiation
of a merger between companies.
This recently culminated in the
creation of one building in New
York where research and testing can
be completed. This building, dubbed
the SynTech building, is set to
open later this year.

INT. SMALL APARTMENT -- CONTINUOUS

The OLD MAN is sitting in his easy chair, half asleep. The
television is still on, the WOMAN reporter talking about
MILES TRUETT. The OLD WOMAN enters the room, carrying a bowl
full of popcorn. She stares at the television screen as she
sits next to her husband.

OLD WOMAN
Honey! Honey!

The OLD WOMAN nudges her husband awake.

OLD WOMAN
Look who's on the news!

OLD MAN
Wha? What did you get me up for?

OLD WOMAN
It's MILES! Look! On TV!

OLD MAN
O, well look it really is. I always
knew that young man would make
something of himself.

OLD WOMAN
Yes, such a fine grandchild. I wish
we had another grandchild that was
as great as he was.

OLD MAN
Well, we could try right now. You
have to start somewhere.

The OLD WOMAN stares at the OLD MAN and smiles. They kiss
lightly on the lips.

OLD MAN
So, what's for breakfast?

THE END


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ENTRY #3
TITLE: DEAD END JOBS
INSPIRED FROM ARTICLE 2: America's most dangerous jobs

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[/COLOR][/b]
ENTRY #3
DEAD END JOBS



FADE IN:

INT. HIGH SCHOOL COMPUTER LAB -- DAY

SETH, a lanky, bored, pissed-off skateboarder poser, plucks
keys at one of about thirty or so computers in the
fluorescent-bathed lab.

Around him, bored STUDENTS do the same.

SETH (V.O.)
So I get this list, downloaded it
from a site, a homework thing.
Boring as hell, usually. Except
this stupid *** assignment is
different. Fatality rates: a
ranking of the ten most dangerous
jobs in Western Culture, or some
**** like that.

Seth pushes away from the computer, stands, walks to a
printer, and waits in line.

SETH (V.O.) (CONT'D)
Finally I know what I want to be
when I grow up.

At last it's his turn. He grabs the single sheet, turns and
walks away reading it.

SETH (V.O.) (CONT'D)
Well, sort-a.

EXT. CITY STREETS -- DAY

Seth saunters down the sidewalk, backpack slung over one
shoulder, list in hand. He reads from the list.

SETH (V.O.)
Structural iron and steel workers.

Oblivious to his surroundings, Seth walks by a construction
site where a new building is being erected.

Suddenly, a steel beam swings wildly on its cables and
squashes a STEEL WORKER like a bug.

SETH (V.O.) (CONT'D)
Nah. Too much hard labor.

Pandemonium breaks out, PEOPLE on the sidewalk point, but
Seth just keep walking, his nose buried in his list.

Near an electric utility vehicle the oblivious Seth steps
around some cones that mark off the point in the sidewalk
where subterranean electric cables are being worked upon.

SETH (V.O.) (CONT'D)
Electrical power line installers,
repairers.

From behind him deep within the subterranean hole SPARKS
shoot up and out in every direction as a MAN deep within the
hole SHRIEKS (O.S.) in pain and agony. Seth is clueless.

SETH (V.O.) (CONT'D)
I don't think that's for me,
either.

As Seth continues on, a city garbage truck stops across the
street. Two REFUSE ENGINEERS jump off the back bumper and
grab curbside garbage, dumping it into the back of the truck.

SETH (V.O.) (CONT'D)
(miss pronounced as the
word that means to not
accept)
Refuse and recyclable material
collectors.

Seth looks up, clearly confused. He spies the truck across
the street, and the Refuse Engineers dressed in hideous bulky
jump-suits.

Seth rolls his eyes and keeps walking.

SETH (V.O.) (CONT'D)
I wouldn't be caught dead dressed
like that.

Suddenly the arm of one of the men gets caught in the jaws of
the truck as it sweeps the trash back.

The Refuse Engineer is sucked into the masher as the other
tries desperately to pull him out by the legs. It's no use.

Seth, still in his own universe, continues on unaware.

COUNSELOR STEVE (V.O.)
Let me get this straight: you want
to know which is worse, dying from
falling off a roof or from a plane
crash?

INT. HIGH SCHOOL GUIDANCE COUNSELOR'S OFFICE -- DAY

COUNSELOR STEVE, ID badge fastened to his pocket protector,
bulky black glasses resting on his nose, sits, legs crossed,
revealing white socks beneath his dark trousers.
Seth, in torn jeans and a muscle shirt advertising a heavy
metal band, slouches in a chair across from him.

SETH
Yeah.

COUNSELOR STEVE
And that's how you intend to pick
your profession?

Seth snaps off a half nod of affirmation. Counselor Steve
consults Seth's many times folded and already ripped list.

COUNSELOR STEVE (CONT'D)
You have several crossed out here.

Seth just looks blankly at Counselor Steve.

COUNSELOR STEVE (CONT'D)
You've obviously put some thought
into this.

SETH
Whatever.

Counselor Steve points to one.

COUNSELOR STEVE
What's wrong with taxi driver?

SETH
Are you kidding me?

Suddenly Seth animates. He sits up and grabs an imaginary
steering wheel.

SETH (CONT'D)
I'd be driving this guy around,
this dark, mean S-O-B, and he'd say
something snide to me, maybe about
my driving or some **** like that.
And I'd meet his eyes in the rear
view mirror...

Seth gazes intensely at Counselor Steve. Counselor Steve
shrinks into his seat.

SETH (CONT'D)
...And I'd be pissed, you know, cuz
I don't like being talked to like
that. And I'd say, "Are you talking
to me?" In my best Robert D.

Seth pauses. Counselor Steve points to himself in a "Who me?"
gesture.

SETH (CONT'D)
And he'd pull out a gun. And then
****!

Counselor Steve jumps.

SETH (CONT'D)
It don't matter if I'm six foot
five or as short as my gram, cuz
it's like playing rock, paper,
scissors, only this guy decides to
pull a gun from his fingers.

Counselor Steve is obviously confused. Seth notices.

SETH (CONT'D)
Don't you see? Gun beats all of
them. Hands down. Or hands up.
Doesn't matter. My brains are all
over the dashboard before I can
form the next thought.

Counselor Steve winces. Seth slouches again.

Counselor Steve wipes the beaded sweat off his brow. He takes
a nervous sip of water. He consults the list again.

COUNSELOR STEVE
So you've narrowed it down to
roofers or pilots.

SETH
Yeah.

COUNSELOR STEVE
Right. Well, roofers don't
ordinarily go to college.

SETH
Cool! Wait. Not cool. That means no
frat parties. What about pilots?
Counselor Steve nods affirmatively.

SETH (CONT'D)
Okay. I'll take that.

COUNSELOR STEVE
There's a pilot training school not
far from here as a matter of fact.

Counselor Steve rummages through a file drawer. Seth doesn't
like hearing that the school is nearby.

SETH
Close to here?

COUNSELOR STEVE
Yes. But it's real darned
expensive.

Counselor Steve hands over some papers and a folder to Seth.
He has Seth's full attention now--expensive sounds good.

SETH
Expensive and dangerous. I like the
sounds of that. My dad's paying,
you know.

Counselor Steve smiles uncomfortably. Seth leafs through the
materials.

SETH (CONT'D)
Pilot it is. No commercial stuff
though. Only the most dangerous
bush assignments on the cheapest
aircraft there is. I'll tell Dad
I'll pay him back when I make it
big, and then I'll make sure I only
make it mediocre. God, he'll hate
that worst of all.

Seth stands.

SETH (CONT'D)
Thanks.

Counselor Steve remembers the folded paper in his hand. He
hands it toward Seth.

COUNSELOR STEVE
You want your list back?

SETH
No, you keep it. Might come in
handy helping someone else.

Counselor Steve tries to smile, but his lip twitches
uncontrollably.

But Seth is clueless as he exits.

EXT. HIGH SCHOOL -- DAY

Seth exits the school to a glorious, spring day.

Students meander the campus grounds. TEACHERS meet under a
tree. ROOFERS work shirtless high above it all.

Seth takes the stairs two at a time down to the sidewalk.
There is a renewed self-assured bounce to his step.

Suddenly a Roofer SHRIEKS and plummets to his death, right
outside the front doors where Seth just emerged.

Students and Teachers SCREAM and race around, wanting to help
or at least to glimpse the mangled body.

Seth, happy and content in his own little world, struts away,
oblivious to everything around him, as we...

FADE OUT.

THE [DEAD] END



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ENTRY #4
TITLE: FAMILY OF MAN
INSPIRED FROM ARTICLE 1: Crowds go ape over human zoo exhibit

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ENTRY #4
THE FAMILY OF MAN



INT. CENTERVILLE ZOO / MONKEY HOUSE - DAY

A janitor, TOKOFAY (40), mops the floor. Tokofay is an
African Man with dark leathery skin from years of being
outdoors.

A few people mill about in front of one of the cages. Tokofay
watches the monkeys play before he takes his mop and bucket
and leaves.

EXT. CENTERVILLE ZOO GROUNDS / ELEPHANT HOUSE ENCLOSURE

Tokofay walks through the grounds. Despite the nice weather,
relatively few people are in the zoo.

As Tokofay passes the Elephant House as the majestic beast
rumbles out A DEEP MOURNFUL CRY OF AGONY. Tokofay rushes to
the fence to see what is wrong.

Inside the Elephant Enclosure, a single elephant has his hind
leg shackled and secured. DIEGO (30), a sloven man with a
perpetual angry scowl on his face looks at the elephant with
pure contempt.

Tokofay shouts through the bars of the Elephant Enclosure.

TOKOFAY
You stop that Diego! I know what you do,
you always hurt the elephant!

Diego looks up to Tokofay and shouts back at him.

DIEGO
Mind your own business you mullie
bastard.

Diego takes his training stick, a six foot pole with a huge
iron hook on the end and loops the iron hook around the
elephant's ear. With all his strength he pulls down on the
stick and again the animal bellows in pain.

The elephant's front legs begin to buckle but instead of
falling to its knees as Diego expected the elephant's head
swings wildly from side to side. The trunk hits Diego in the
chest and Diego's body flies over 20 feet into the corner of
the enclosure.

A mother covers her daughter's eyes but the little girl still
screams in horror. Other people rush over to the enclosure
fence.

On a rampage the elephant strains at the chains and tries to
grab Diego. Badly injured Diego crawls as far as possible
into the corner and just out of reach.

WOMAN IN CROWD
Somebody save that man down there!

MAN IN CROWD
Get a gun, find somebody with a gun and
shot the elephant!

The crowd gets larger and is on the verge of becoming a mob.
Diego moans in pain, the out stretched trunk is only inches
away.

Rapidly Tokofay strips off his janitor's uniform until he is
down to his boxer shorts. A couple of people in the crowd are
bewildered by Tokofay but everyone else is focused on Diego.

With the agility of a cat and the strength of an athlete
Tokofay scales the fence. Before anyone can stop Tokofay he's
in the enclosure.

The crowd screams at Tokofay to get out. Tokofay stands about
20 feet behind the elephant with his arms out. In a calm
soothing voice he calls to the elephant.

TOKOFAY
Come, come to me.

The elephant turns his head with one angry eye trained on
Tokofay.

TOKOFAY
Yes, you, come to me.

In an instant the elephant spins around, its trunk raised up
ready to strike Tokofay. The crowd gasps but Tokofay remains
fearless.

Tokofay speaks in his native African language.

The language is lyrical, almost musical, punctuated with many
clicks and pops.

Tokofay talks to the elephant as though it was a hurt child.
The elephant lowers its trunk and Tokofay takes the trunk in
one arm and strokes it with the other.

As the animal calms down Tokofay continues his conversation
with it. The elephants front knees bend and the animal lies
down. Tokofay examines the ear injured by Diego's training
stick.

Diego staggers to his feet. To escape Diego has to leave the
relative safety of the corner to get to the maintenance exit.
Tentatively he takes his first painful steps towards the
door.

The elephant hears Diego, a threatening throaty rumble
begins.

TOKOFAY
No, do not look. Let him go.

Tokofay whispers in the elephant's ear as Diego gets away.

The crowd cheers and several people take pictures with their
cameras and cell phones. Tokofay's attention is on the
elephant.

From behind the crowd TOM JENSEN (50) the Zoo Director runs
up to the enclosure fence. He loosens his tie as he tries to
catch his breath.

Four MEMBERS OF A SWAT TEAM are right behind Mr. Jensen and
they immediately aim their high powered riles through the
fence ready to shoot.

SWAT TEAM COMMANDER
Step away from the elephant.

TOKOFAY
No. I will not let you kill him.

Tokofay positions his body right between the marksmen and the
elephant.

TOKOFAY
It is not the elephant's fault.

EXT. CENTERVILLE ZOO - THE NEXT DAY

The zoo is crowded, filled with enthusiastic families.

Off to one side Mr. Jensen reads the city newspaper. The
banner headline is "Bushman Saves Elephant".

Mr. Jensen lingers over the picture of Tokofay in his boxer
shorts next to the elephant. He hands the paper to his
assistant JANET MILLS (28). Together the two of them walk.

TOM JENSEN
What are we going about this?

JANET MILLS
We play it for all it's worth.

Mr. Jensen is mystified by her answer. Miss Mills gestures
for him to look around.

JANET MILLS
When was the last time the zoo has been
this full? And Tokofay, he so perfect.
Even his name "Tokofay" it's so African.

TOM JENSEN
Makes sense, he is from Africa.

JANET MILLS
Anybody can be from Africa, I'm saying he
is Africa.

Mr. Jensen and Miss Mills reach the enclosure around the
Elephant House. Here the crowd is three and four deep.

Mr. Jensen politely moves up to the fence.

Inside the enclosure Tokofay washes the elephant like a giant
automobile. Both Tokofay and the elephant are ecstatically
happy. Children call out Tokofay's name and he waves back to
them as he hoses down the elephant.

Tokofay notices Mr. Jensen and puts the hose down.

TOKOFAY
You want me sir?

TOM JENSEN
Yeah. How about at my office in fifteen
minutes?

INT. CENTERVILLE ZOO / TOM JENSEN'S OFFICE

Tokofay is lead into the office by Ms. Mills.

TOM JENSEN
Tokofay. What you did yesterday was
incredible. The Zoo would like to show it
gratitude.

TOKOFAY
That would be nice, maybe you will give
me a very big raise.

Mr. Jensen is surprised by Tokofay's directness.

TOM JENSEN
It depends what you mean by very big. The
Zoo is in a real financial pinch.

TOKOFAY
Many people come to see me today and
maybe tomorrow they will come again. I
should have Diego's job.

TOM JENSEN
Yes. We can do that.

TOKOFAY
And a raise too.

TOM JENSEN
Well we already thought that Diego was
overpaid as an elephant trainer.

TOKOFAY
Then I will be a bargain. I will treat
the elephant right, plus I know many more
animals.

TOM JENSEN
I'd have to present that to the board and
that could take a few weeks.

TOKOFAY
No. Either we agree now or today is my
last day. I get many E-mails last night,
some from other zoos.

TOM JENSEN
Wait now. I'm sticking my neck out here
but let's say you have a deal.

Mr. Jensen reaches out to shake hands but Tokofay keeps arms
by his side.

TOM JENSEN
Is there something else?

TOKOFAY
Yes. I want to wear my own clothes and to
be in charge of everything in the
enclosure. Otherwise no deal.

Mr. Jensen looks over to Ms. Mills and she gestures "why
not".

TOM JENSEN
All right, I can live with that.

The two men shake hands and Tokofay is ready to leave the
office.

TOM JENSEN
Tokofay? What did you say to the
elephant?

Tokofay laughs.

TOKOFAY
Elephant very smart but what I say is of
no importance. First I showed elephant I
can't hurt him them talk very sweet.
Elephants understands sweetness

Tokofay smiles and then leaves.

JANET MILLS
You thought he was going be a push-over.

TOM JENSEN
We can't afford to get rid of the
elephant.

JANET MILLS
Or have anymore empty cages.

TOM JENSEN
They're exhibition spaces Miss Mills.

JANET MILLS
I'm sorry, I keep forgetting that.

EXT. CENTERVILLE ZOO - THE NEXT DAY

Mr. Jensen walks through the zoo grounds. He approaches the
Elephant House and the crowd is even bigger than yesterday's.

From out of the crowd comes HENRY DAVIS (30) a reporter from
the city newspaper.

HENRY DAVIS
Tom! Tom!

Mr. Jensen recognizes Mr. Davis and the two men meet in an
open area away from the crowd.

TOM JENSEN
Doing a story?

HENRY DAVIS
You bet. Why didn't you tell me about the
elephant house?

TOM JENSEN
It was all done on the fly.

HENRY DAVIS
It's great. And your man, Tokofay, he's
so... I don't know, so authentic.

TOM JENSEN
We're very proud of him.

HENRY DAVIS
Normally this is a story for the weekend
magazine but I'm going ask my editor to
put for tomorrow's paper. So I got to go.

TOM JENSEN
Next time let me know when you're coming.

Mr. Davis is off. Something that Mr. Davis just said doesn't
sit right with Mr. Jensen. Out of curiosity Mr. Jensen moves
through the crowd up to the enclosure fence.

Inside the enclosure Tokofay is dressed in a loin cloth and
his body is painted in a geometric pattern of white stripes.

With its trunk the elephant hands Tokofay an armful of thatch
that Tokofay uses to build a half finish hut.

Mr. Jensen looks on in disbelief. He takes his cell phone out
of his pocket and dials.

TOM JENSEN
(on the phone)
Miss Mills, come to the elephant house,
we have problem.

INT. CENTERVILLE ZOO / TOM JENSEN'S OFFICE - LATER

Mr. Jensen sits at his desk with his head in his hands. There
is a knock on the door. Mr. Jensen looks up and sees Miss
Mills in the doorway with a folder in her hands

TOM JENSEN
Is he outside waiting?

JANET MILLS
Yes, but maybe you should reconsider.

TOM JENSEN
I'm supposed to be running a zoo here.

JANET MILLS
The loin cloth isn't that bad, it's no
worse than a speedo.

Miss Mills goes up to Mr. Jensen's desk and places the folder
in front of him.

JANET MILLS
It's not like he's a fat ugly guy in
speedo.

TOM JENSEN
And what about the hut? I can't have him
living with the elephant.

JANET MILLS
But Tokofay says elephants are very
social, they need the company. It would
be better if we could afford another
elephant.

TOM JENSEN
Don't even go there. Another elephant out
of the question.

Mr. Jensen opens the folder.

TOM JENSEN
What's this?

JANET MILLS
Today's receipts.

Mr. Jensen's eyes open wide as he reads.

JANET MILLS
We made more money today than all of last
month... Do you still want speak to
Tokofay?

TOM JENSEN
No, just tell him he's doing great job.

EXT. CENTERVILLE ZOO - THE NEXT DAY

On his daily inspection Mr. Jensen walks the grounds. Again
the zoo is crowded.

From a distance Mr. Jensen can see the Main Entrance and
something doesn't look right. He quickens his pace.

As Mr. Jensen reaches the Main Entrance just as several
people with protest signs start to march in a circle.

One of the protesters, REV. BOLLARD (40), a roly-poly African
American with a wild head of hair and even a wilder look in
his eye. He has a bullhorn and shouts into it.

REV. BOLLARD
You can't put a brother in a cage without
community rage.

The protesters repeat Rev. Bollard's chant.

REV. BOLLARD
Teach the zoo a lesion, don't pay for
oppression.

Again the protesters repeat his chant. Several people try to
walk around or through the protest to get inside the zoo.

Tempers begin to flair. The protesters will not yield and no
one is sympathetic to protesters.

Mr. Jensen pushes his way to Rev. Bollard's.

TOM JENSEN
What are you doing?

REV. BOLLARD
We're here to liberate Tokofay!

INT. CENTERVILLE ZOO / TOM JENSEN'S OFFICE - EVENING

Miss mills enters the office to find Mr. Jensen behind his
desk.

TOM JENSEN
Just got off the phone with the mayor.

JANET MILLS
Bad?

Mr. Jensen searches through a desk draw and takes out a
bottle of whiskey, two glasses and begins to pour a glass.

JANET MILLS
I don't drink.

TOM JENSEN
That's OK, I'll have one for you.

He pours a little more into his glass

TOM JENSEN
The mayor wants to know how am I going
defuse this racial situation?

JANET MILLS
That's ridiculous. There's nothing racial
about this. Just because Tokofay is
African.

TOM JENSEN
And in a cage.

He downs the glass of whiskey.

TOM JENSEN
I can always offer my resignation.

JANET MILLS
No. There must be someway to make this
right.

Long pause of silence. Mr. Jensen and Miss Mills exchange
looks of frustration and then resignation.

Suddenly Miss Mills has a eureka moment.

JANET MILLS
I got it. We have a dozen exhibition
spaces with no animals. What if we have
all different kinds of people on display?

TOM JENSEN
I don't know.

JANET MILLS
Come on work with me. We can different
habitats and it could be like the
ultimate reality show here at the zoo.
How can it be a racial thing if everyone
is represented?

Mr. Jensen still looks doubtful.

JANET MILLS
We'll call it "The Family Of Man".

Mr. Jensen pours another drink.

TOM JENSEN
Why not. I'm sure the mayor heard weirder
ideas than that.

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ENTRY #5
TITLE: THE CAT FROM CAHABA
INSPIRED FROM ARTICLE 3: USS Monitor's Cat Mystery

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ENTRY #5
THE CAT FROM CAHABA



FADE IN:

EXT. USS MONITOR - NIGHT

December 30th, 1862 , the USS MONITOR is being towed by the
USS RHODE ISLAND through heavy seas. LANDSMAN FRANCIS BUTTS,
stands at the end of a line of men bailing water from the
sinking ship. An OFFICER oversees the bailing.

A BLACK CAT yowls loudly at the feet of the men. The officer
is annoyed. The cat yowls loudly again.

OFFICER
Where'd that damned cat come from?

FRANCIS BUTTS
It must have come on board at Fort
Monroe, Sir. I've not seen it
before, but surely it means good
fortune.

FOUR CREWMEN emerge from the turret ladder and fall to the
deck vomiting with sea sickness. HENRY SINCLAIR, an older
African man and the ship's cook, emerges from the turret
hatch behind them.

The cat walks past one of the crewmen, rubbing against him.
The crewman notices a collar with a metal tag dangling from
it around the neck of the cat. The crewman reaches for it as
a wave crashes over the turret and the cat scurries away.

HENRY SINCLAIR
Get off your knees you damned
fools. Get up and bail.

The officer moves to the turret ladder and nearly trips over
the cat. The cat jumps up to the breech of one of the guns.
Landsman Butts picks it up off the gun.

OFFICER
Landsman! Rid yourself of that cat
and get to bailing.

FRANCIS BUTTS
What should I do with the cat, sir?

OFFICER
You can throw it overboard for all
I care.

FRANCIS BUTTS
I'd rather touch a ghost than kill
that cat, sir!

OFFICER
I haven't time for foolish
superstitions. Get rid that cat,
Landsman! That's an order.

The officer enters the hatchway and descends the ladder.

HENRY SINCLAIR
Don't you harm that cat Landsman
Butts. If so we'll all surely
drown.

FRANCIS BUTTS
Then it's hell, or be hanged for
not following orders.

HENRY SINCLAIR
Then it be hanged for you. I'll not
let you bring ill fortune on us all
to follow a foolish order.

FRANCIS BUTTS
I'll not bring bad luck on this
ship, but I'll not be hanged
either.

He carries the cat to one of the ship's large cannons and
removes the tampion and wad and places the cat inside.
Moonlight reflects off the tag that dangles from the cat's
collar.

FRANCIS BUTTS (CONT'D)
This cat's fortune will be ours.

INT. LABORATORY - DAY

Two large cannons from the USS Monitor sit in a large modern
laboratory at the present day Mariner's Museum. Barnacle
growth and discoloration show the signs of the years the
cannons spent at the bottom of the Atlantic.

WORKERS in white lab coats work to clear the barrels. As the
workers empty the contents of the cannon barrels they lay the
material out on a long stainless steel table.

TOM BRADLEY enters the lab. He is in his early thirties,
clean shaven, wears a suit and looks like he is in charge.

He walks to a table where ANDY JOHNSON, a conservator at the
museum is examining the contents of the cannon in a
microscope.

TOM
Where's my cat Andy?

Andy, who was focusing on his work looks up, annoyed at being
interrupted.

ANDY
I'm working on it.

TOM
I'll bet you that when Francis
Butts wrote his account of the
sinking of the Monitor he never
thought that 140 years later people
would be so concerned about the cat
he stuffed in the cannon.

ANDY
Yeah, who would have thought.

TOM
Every school kid who walks in here
wants to know what happened to the
cat. You know David has a press
conference scheduled for ten,
right.

ANDY
I know, I promised him I'd have an
answer by then. Now let me work.
I'll call you if I find anything.

Andy removes the slide he was looking at and puts the
contents into a small glass vial.

TOM
What are you looking for?

Andy marks the container and takes some more material and
places it on a slide under the microscope.

ANDY
Micro-organisms. Now go away Tom.

TOM
Call me when you find the cat,
okay.

Andy ignores him as he leaves the lab.

INT. TOM'S OFFICE - MOMENTS LATER

Behind a small cluttered desk sits ALLISON LANGLEY, a tall
woman in her early 30's. She's dressed professionally in a
gray suit and white blouse that's unbuttoned one button too
many to be considered entirely professional.

A wedding picture sits on the desk. She picks it up, looks at
it. In the picture is a younger, moustached Tom. The bride in
the picture is Allison.

Tom walks into the office. He stops, startled to see her.

TOM
You're sitting in my chair.

ALLISON
I think I liked you better with the
moustache.

TOM
It gave a bad impression, made
people think I couldn't be trusted.

He takes the picture from her and places it back on the desk.
Allison gets up from behind the desk, walks around it,
brushes against Tom and seductively leans back on the desk.

ALLISON
Do you feel the need to be trusted,
Tom?

TOM
Eight years of being married and
you never once mentioned you worked
for the CIA. I think you're the one
who needs to build a little trust
around here.

ALLISON
You know you were always more than
just an assignment to me, Tom.

TOM
Cut the crap Allison, is this
business or am I late with the
alimony?

ALLISON
You don't pay me any alimony, Tom.

He steps close to her and buttons her blouse up by one
button.

TOM
Then it's business.

Tom moves away from her, back behind the desk to where she
was sitting.

TOM (CONT'D)
What can the Mariner's Museum do
for the CIA today?

ALLISON
I'm not with the CIA any more. I'm
with the Office of Homeland
Security now.

TOM
Okay, the Office of Homeland
Insecurity. What can I do for you,
Allison.

ALLISON
Be nice, Tom. I'm looking for a
cat. A cat that is supposed to be
at the bottom of one of your
cannons.

TOM
What would Homeland Security want
with a 140 year old cat?

ALLISON
It's top secret, sorry. Issue of
national security.

TOM
Well, I tell you what, at ten
o'clock we're having a press
conference and you can tune into
CNN and they'll have the whole
story for you.

The phone on Tom's desk rings. He picks up the phone.

TOM (CONT'D)
(Talking on the phone)
Yes Andy.

ALLISON
Is that Andy? I haven't seen him
since the divorce.

Tom gives her an annoyed look. He muffles the phone in his
chest.

ALLISON (CONT'D)
Did Andy find the cat?

TOM
(mocking her)
It's top secret, sorry. Issue of
national security... now go. I have
work to do.

ALLISON
You're funny Tom. I always loved
your sense of humor.

She leaves the office. Tom puts the phone back to his ear.

TOM
Okay, I'll be right down.

INT. LABORATORY - DAY

Tom enters the room and he is immediately seized by an
overexcited Andy.

ANDY
Follow me, Tom. Here look, let me
take you on a trip back in time...
He points to the cannons.

ANDY (CONT'D)
Here you have two thirteen foot
Dahlgren guns, cannons. Each one
weighs close to seventeen thousand
pounds. Just fished out of the
Atlantic in about 60 fathoms, uh...
360 feet of water.

Andy turns to the tables where the contents of the cannon are
laid out.

ANDY (CONT'D)
Now, here we have the most recent
sediment found in the cannon...
very loose. Then earlier sediment.
This stuff is hard as rock,
basically concrete.

He picks up a large piece and lets it go. It hits the table
with a thud.

ANDY (CONT'D)
Then coal... we think the ship
tilted as it sank, the coal poured
out of the ship and into the
cannon.

He moves further along the table.

ANDY (CONT'D)
Okay, here you have the tampion, a
plug... then the wad and well, then
there's your cat.

The desiccated carcass of the black cat lays on the stainless
steel tray at the end of the table.

TOM
Wow, so Butts was telling the
truth.

ANDY
Except Butts never mentioned this.

From beside the cat Andy picks up a modern day collar with
metal tag on it. Andy holds the metal tag up and Tom reads
it.

TOM
Tag says the cat's name is Ulysses.
It has a phone number, (334) 872
5683.

Tom smiles, he turns the tag over. There is more writing on
the other side.

TOM (CONT'D)
(Reading the tag)
Cahaba Pet Supply, Cahaba, Alabama.

ANDY
I checked, there is no Cahaba
Alabama. It's a ghost town. I
called the phone number. It's not
in service.

TOM
This is some kind of joke, right?

ANDY
No joke.

TOM
Then tell me... how does a modern
day pet collar from a city that
doesn't exist get on a cat that was
sealed in a cannon that sank on a
civil war ship in 1862?

ANDY
Good question. I got something else
to show you.

The door to the lab swings open and Allison walks into the
room followed by ARMED GUARDS and a MAN IN BLACK.

ALLISON
Where's my cat Tom?

ANDY
Allison?

ALLISON
Hello Andy.

ANDY
Don't you work for the CIA?

ALLISON
Office of Homeland Security.

The man in black carries a large metal box. The armed guards
push Tom and Andy away from the table. The man in black sets
the box on the table opens it and puts the cat inside then
closes and seals the box.

ANDY
Tom, you can't let the CIA take our
cat!

TOM
Allison, come on... you can't be
serious. It's a just cat.

Allison takes the collar from Andy.

ALLISON
It's top secret, sorry. Issue of
national security. Bye Andy, Tom.

Allison exits the room followed by the man in black and the
armed guards

TOM
What is it with her! First she
takes eight years of my life, I
divorce her but she's still got to
come back for more.

Andy fishes around in the pocket of his overcoat.

ANDY
Well she didn't get everything.

He pulls out a small glass vial from his pocket. Inside is
what looks like a large piece of white rice.

ANDY (CONT'D)
I found this implanted in the neck
of the cat.

TOM
What is it?

ANDY
I think it's some kind of ID chip.

TOM
Do you know what's on it?

ANDY
No, but I'm working on that.

TOM
This all sounds so crazy, there
must be an explanation. Get me an
answer Andy.

DAVID KROP, assistant conservator of the Mariner's Museum
walks into the lab.

DAVID
Where's my cat?

ANDY
That seems to be the question of
the day.

TOM
There is no cat, David. Only sea
shells and, and, what was that you
were looking for Andy?

ANDY
Micro-organisms.

TOM
There you go. Micro-organisms.

DAVID
I have a press conference in ten
minutes. What am I going to tell
CNN?

TOM
Tell them my ex-wife got the cat in
the divorce.

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ENTRY #6
TITLE: Fresh Blood, Old Books
INSPIRED FROM ARTICLE 2: America's Most Dangerous Jobs

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ENTRY #6
Fresh Blood, Old Books



FADE IN:



EXT. NEW YORK CITY -- NIGHT

A panorama of New York City glows peacefully, festive
sounds come from the street and continue through the
sequence.



MONTAGE - NEW YORK SIGHTS

-- Empire State building

-- Statue of Liberty

-- Brooklyn Bridge



EXT. BUILDING NEXT TO CLAUDIO'S RESTAURANT -- CONTINUOUS

From the roof, a skyline view of the city. Suddenly
there is movement on the roof of the building in front of
us.



EXT. CLAUDIO'S RESTAURANT ROOF -- CONTINUOUS

A closer view, a FIGURE in black moves across the flat
roof, seen only as he blocks the windows beyond. He
becomes a silhouette as he reaches the edge and looks
over. He quickly attaches something to a large pipe then
vaults off the roof.



EXT. CLAUDIO'S RESTAURANT WALL -- CONTINUOUS

Head first the FIGURE lowers himself silently down the
wall on thin black ropes. A stocking cap covers his head
but we see his eyes as he looks down. They are steel
blue topped by a wild forest of grey and black, mad
scientist eyebrows which contradict the calm vitality in
the eyes themselves.

He drops to a ledge above the Claudio's Restaurant sign,
one story off the street, he moves to where he can see
the sidewalk below. He unslings a small, oddly shaped
rifle and begins to settle in, looking relaxed. Almost
unconsciously he pulls a locket from under his shirt,
turning it over in his hands.



EXT. CLAUDIO'S RESTAURANT ENTRANCE -- LATER

Muffled music, laughter and conversation come from
inside. A placard by the door announces the annual
Halloween party. The door opens, the noise from inside
is almost deafening.

A small group emerges. SENATOR TREADWAY, dressed as a
Roman conqueror is flanked by his beautiful MISTRESS
dressed as a French Maid and his mousy looking AIDE
dressed as a hunchback.

Four very large BODYGUARDS dressed as ghosts take up
positions in front and behind.

AIDE
Yes Senator, we have the latest
polls. Head to head, Governor
Karns' lead is now only three
points BUT, they show you would
have a significantly better chance
of unseating the President.

SENATOR
Perfect, things are coming
together.

He grabs the maid's *** as they walk, she giggles.

SENATOR (CONT'D)
Speaking of coming, mechanical
problems did keep my wife from
making her flight, correct?

AIDE
Yes sir.

The maid giggles again and wiggles her hips as they stop
at the curb, waiting. He smiles at her lustfully.

SENATOR
Perfect, but how will is spend my
lonely night?



EXT. CLAUDIO'S RESTAURANT WALL -- CONTINUOUS

The FIGURE examines them, kisses the locket, then puts it
back in his shirt. He looks at his watch impatiently and
whispers

FIGURE
It's about goddam time.

He takes aim with the rifle, whispering cheerfully.

FIGURE (CONT'D)
Hail Caesar! Sorry, the Ides of
March are here a little early.



EXT. CLAUDIO'S RESTAURANT ENTRANCE -- CONTINUOUS

A black limo pulls up. GHOST #1 opens the door, the
SENATOR helps the MAID inside then bends to get in.
There's a whooshing sound and the Senator grabs the back
of his neck.

SENATOR
What the hell!

He pulls out a small dart, frowning. Suddenly his eyes
roll up and he collapses half way into the limo.

GHOST #2
He's been shot!

With expert efficiency, the GHOSTS pull guns and form a
protective perimeter.



EXT. CLAUDIO'S RESTAURANT WALL -- CONTINUOUS

The FIGURE strains to get a look at his victim, but the
GHOSTS are making that very difficult. He scoots along
the ledge to get a better angle, whispering to himself.

FIGURE
These guys are good.



EXT. CLAUDIO'S RESTAURANT ENTRANCE -- CONTINUOUS

The AIDE recovers. He grabs the MAID and roughly pulls
her out, pushing her into the arms of GHOST #1.

AIDE
Get her the hell out of here.

The Aide and GHOST #2 struggle to lift the SENATOR'S now
limp body into the limo and it speeds away, the door
slamming shut from the acceleration.



EXT. CLAUDIO'S RESTAURANT WALL -- CONTINUOUS

The FIGURE whispers to himself as the limo speeds away.

FIGURE
Sorry Senator but you seem to have
a habit of ****ing the wrong
people.

There is a bang, he ducks as the wall next to him
explodes into shards of brick. The figure looks down as
GHOST #3 is firing up at him.

FIGURE (CONT'D)
These guys are damn good.

He scampers along the ledge to where the sign conceals
him and its light ruins the bodyguard's night vision. He
pulls himself up the side of the building on the ropes.



EXT. CLAUDIO'S RESTAURANT ENTRANCE -- CONTINUOUS

The remaining two GHOSTS have spread out, scouring the
side of the building as shocked BYSTANDERS gawk. Ghost
#3 looks up, but is blinded by the lights of the sign.

GHOST #3
****, I've lost him.

They lower their guns and helplessly continue to look.



EXT. CLAUDIO'S RESTAURANT WALL -- CONTINUOUS

Near the top the FIGURE is silently pulling himself up as
quickly as possible. He reaches the roof, springs easily
over the edge and detaches his ropes and pulley from the
pipe. He throws them into a black backpack and puts it
on as he sprints across the roof.

At an adjoining, taller apartment building he grabs a
rope ladder hanging there and scampers to the top. He
pulls the ladder up and stuffs it hurriedly into the
backpack.



EXT. APARTMENT BUILDING ROOF -- CONTINUOUS

The FIGURE speeds across the apartment roof to a dark
corner, he's breathing heavily. A thin black rope is
attached to the railing, a metal cylinder is clamped to
it just below the knot.

He reaches over the rail and grabs the rope. Swinging
onto it he begins to pull himself to the next building.

Sirens from several police cars and ambulances scream
past on the street below. Seconds later a window opens
two floors down and a NAKED MAN and WOMAN look out.

The Figure stops, hanging over the street, just yards
from the couple below. He fights to control his ragged
breathing.

NAKED MAN
Are they coming here?

NAKED WOMAN
No, they went on by.

They both lean out a little further, exposed and
dangling.

NAKED WOMAN (CONT'D)
I wonder what happened?

NAKED MAN
Who gives a ****, you still have
some unfinished business. Your
husband could come home any
second.

He grabs her and pulls her inside. The muffled
conversation fades out.

NAKED WOMAN
You can't keep treating me like
****! Don't expect to --

The voices are gone and the Figure resumes pulling
himself to the next building. He drops to the fire
escape, pulls a remote from his pocket and presses a
large red button.

On the other side of the street the cylinder explodes
with a pop and the rope is now dangling as the figure
expertly pulls it in.

Seconds later, the rope in his bulging pack, he climbs
through the adjoining window as more emergency vehicles
race below.



INT. SIDNEY FREIDMAN'S APARTMENT -- CONTINUOUS

The FIGURE slips inside and closes the window. He turns
on a lamp and we see the piercing blue eyes as he scans
the small bedroom he's entered. He tosses the backpack
into a larger suitcase, closes it and stands it upright.

He quickly unslings the rifle and inserts it into the
suitcase where the extending pull handles go, then pushes
it down inside until it disappears.

He opens another bag, pulls out a notebook computer and
turns it on. The computer asks for a password, he pulls
off his gloves and enters it quickly.

INSERT COMPUTER SCREEN:

"Acquiring Cellular Connection"

Almost instantly the messages begin to appear, replacing
each other quickly on the screen.

"Connection Established"

"Authenticating"

A Web Page appears on a dark blue background, words
repeated across it in several different languages. The
English version reads:

"Safe Surf Anonymous Browser - Privacy, every time, every
where."

At the bottom it asks for a key code. A pager like
device is placed on the keyboard in front of the screen
and he enters the sixteen digit number displayed on it.

A chat window opens, the word "Well?" Appears.

He types: "Done."

On the line below the following message appears: "Good,
balance being transferred. One more job?"

BACK TO SCENE

The figure quickly types his reply then stands, back to
us, and removes his mask. He takes a deep breath, he's
returning to normal. In the weak light the exact color
of his hair is indistinguishable, we can only tell that
it's light.

In a youthful voice he comments as he hurries to undress.

FIGURE
Sure, I'm always up for one more.

His back still toward us he removes his black Spandex
shirt revealing a powerful back covered with ugly scars.
Underneath the crisscross pattern of what appear to be
whip marks are older, cruder looking scars that spell out
"**** You."

The figure takes the locket still hanging around his neck
and stares at it.



CLOSE ON LOCKET

It's a small, expensive looking Cameo. He starts to open
it then stops himself.

BACK TO SCENE

He grabs a very baggy grey turtle neck sweater and puts
it on, hiding the locket underneath.

As he hurries around we see a reflection of the computer
screen in the window, it changes but we can't quite read
it.

He sits and slides off the black Ninja slippers and
glances at the screen. He looks again then stops, frozen
in shock. He recovers and types a reply, shaking his
head incredulously.

FIGURE
**** me! If you're not kidding
then you're crazy.

The computer's reflection shows another unreadable line
has appeared.

FIGURE (CONT'D)
For that much I'd consider killing
myself.
(types and mutters)
But, I really will have to get
back with you on THIS one.

He grabs baggy old black slacks from the floor and puts
them on. He then picks up what appear to be heavy
orthopedic shoes. He sits back in front of the computer
and types as he continues to dress. He moves his finger
across the notebook's touchpad and the reflected screen
changes entirely.

FIGURE (CONT'D)
Let's see if there's anything
interesting in the news yet.



INSERT COMPUTER SCREEN

News stories flash on the screen, changing every few
seconds.

"FOX NEWS REPORTS: IRAN NUKE PROGRAM ANGERS EUROPE -
Iran again refused to disclose the full extent of it's
enrichment programs or allow inspectors to visit sites in
--"

"CNN REPORTS: AMERICA'S MOST DANGEROUS JOBS - Survey:
Loggers and Fishermen still take the most risk; roofers
record sharp increase in fatalities. There's a memorial
in --"

FIGURE (O.S.)
(sarcastically)
Those aren't dangerous jobs, try
being a librarian!

"BREAKING NEWS: The Associated Press reports that Senator
Robert Treadway has been killed while leaving his
downtown office. Details are sketchy, but it is known
that the Presidential front runner was leaving a late
night planning session with his staff. The Senator's
killer was seen --"

BACK TO SCENE

FIGURE (CONT'D)
Excellent!

The Figure ruffles his hair even more, he stands erect
and confident. He grabs a contact case from the computer
bag, opens it, and raises a contact lens to his eye. He
hears something and stops, alert.

The sounds of a door being unlocked are heard in the
distance, he drops the contact case in his bag, closes
the computer and drops it back in its case, his back
still toward us.

He stands, shakes his limbs, then hunches over like an
old man and turns to exit the bedroom. We now see his
face, covered by an unkempt grey beard and moustache.
His hair is also grey and wild, all matching his manic
eyebrows. He looks like Albert Einstein just waking up
on a bad hair day.

He pulls a pair of thick, green tinted glasses with heavy
black rims from his pocket. He puts them on, completely
hiding his distinctive eyes. He limps stiffly toward the
apartment door where two well dressed men have just
enter.

SIDNEY FRIEDMAN closes the door, he's casually dressed
with a beige top coat. He's with DAVID WINCHESTER,
dressed in a tuxedo and carrying a top hat - a walking
cliché. They enter and the three meet in the center of
the living room.

Friedman gestures toward the Figure, now an old man,
ambling toward them.

FRIEDMAN
David, this is Dr. Samuel Travis
from Texas Southern University
near Houston. He's associate
librarian there and curator of
their Birdwell Historical
Documents Collection.

Dr. Travis bows slightly.

FRIEDMAN (CONT'D)
And this is David Winchester.
He's a member of the library board
and a very generous patron. He
has graciously allowed me to
exhibit several pieces from his
personal collection with my Berg
papers.

Winchester extends his hand and the Figure, now know as
Dr. Samuel Travis, takes it with difficulty. Winchester
looks down his nose with inbred condescension.

WINCHESTER
I'm familiar with that collection,
I thought Mariam Weatherby was
curator.

SAMUEL
I was her assistant in charge of
acquisitions. She retired quite
recently, for health reasons,
though mine is not much better I
fear.

FRIEDMAN
Dr. Travis is interested in
several of your 1775 Continental
Congress letters to King George,
he's made a very generous offer.

SAMUEL
It seems we have just received a
substantial endowment, and I have
been traveling extensively in
search of a fitting way of
exploiting it. Your collection of
letters is --

At that moment Winchester's cell phone rings, annoyed he
answers it. His look of annoyance is quickly replaced by
one of shock. He shakes his head weakly and hangs up.

FRIEDMAN
David, what's wrong?

WINCHESTER
It's Robert, Robert Treadway.

FRIEDMAN
Senator Treadway?

SAMUEL
(disgustedly)
Politicians! We'd all be better
off if they were lined up and
shot.

WINCHESTER
He WAS shot, and he's dead.

Samuel pretends to be embarrassed.

SAMUEL
That was indeed a prophetic choice
of words.

Friedman rocks from side to side nervously. Winchester
is still in shock, Friedman turns to Samuel.

FRIEDMAN
Maybe we should reschedule this
for later,
(to Winchester)
Dr. Travis is staying here with me
and we can do this tomorrow, or
even the day after if you wish.

SAMUEL
I am afraid that will not be
possible. It seems I have urgent
business in Washington, D.C. I
will contact you when
circumstances are less trying.

Friedman nods, Winchester returns from his trance and
speeds out the door without a word or glance. Startled,
they watch him go, then Friedman turns to Samuel.

FRIEDMAN
David was one of Senator
Treadway's largest backers,
financially as well as
politically. This is terrible, I
can't imagine how things could get
worse - for him and for the
country.

SAMUEL
Oh, be assured there are people
with imaginations much darker than
ours, working on that as we speak.

Friedman gives Samuel a quizzical look then hurries to
close the door.

FADE OUT:


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ENTRY #7
TITLE: EXTINCT
INSPIRED FROM ARTICLE 1: The Human Zoo

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ENTRY #7
TITLE: EXTINCT



EXT. ZOO

Open on Robert and Susan walking through the zoo with their
daughter Britney in tow. Britney stops at a building and
points inside. A sign on the outside reads, EXTINCT EXHIBIT.
Robert stops and reads the words beneath it aloud.

ROBERT
Experience Extinction before it's
Extinct.
(to Susan)
Oh, that sounds ex-citing.

SUSAN
I'll bet it's ex-hilarating.

ROBERT
That's ex-actly what I was going to
say!

BRITNEY
Mommy, what's in there?

SUSAN
Nothing we need to see.

ROBERT
Oh, come on. It'd be good for her.

SUSAN
I'm not going to expose her to
that..that...

BRITNEY
What does extinction mean?

ROBERT
Well, it's like when something
ceases to exist. Like the
dinosaurs.

BRITNEY
Oh, I like dinosaurs! Can we go in?

SUSAN
These aren't dinosaurs, sweetie.

ROBERT
(to susan)
Let's go in.

SUSAN
I don't think it's a good idea-

Britney runs ahead and into the entrance of the exhibit.
Robert and Susan run after her.

WE PICK UP



INT. ZOO HOUSE

We're in a long dark hallway, with glass cases showing
different artifacts of the early 2000's. Robert comes up
behind Britney and scoops her into his arms. Susan joins them
shaking her head.

SUSAN
Don't ever do that again, Britney.

BRITNEY
I'm sorry. But I wanted to see the
dinosaurs.

ROBERT
They're not dinosaurs.

SUSAN
(under breath)
Not yet, anyway.

ROBERT
You can't wait till they're gone,
can you?

SUSAN
They should never have existed in
the first place.

ROBERT
Everything exists for a reason.

SUSAN
Oh, really? And what's their reason
for existing?

ROBERT
(thinks for a second)
They don't have one. That's why
they're going extinct.

SUSAN
Let's just go.

ROBERT
Oh, come on. Isn't it nice to know
we saw one before they were all
gone?

BRITNEY
Are we gonna see them soon, Daddy?

ROBERT
Soon, honey.

An ALARM sounds and lights begin to flash.

SUSAN
What's that?

ROBERT
I don't know.

The crowd grows uneasy. People begin to push past Robert and
Susan. Robert holds Britney tight as they lean back against
the wall. More people rush past them.

SUSAN
What's happening?

WOMAN IN CROWD
(fearfully)
One of them got loose.

Susan and Robert look at each other in a panic. The crowd has
now completely blocked the entrance Robert and Susan had used
to come in, and even more alarms are sounding.

ROBERT
This way. Hold on tight, Brit.

Britney wraps her legs around her father and Robert grabs
Susan's hand. They push their way in the opposite direction
through the crowd and we follow them as they get to the
exhibit. We see a floor-to-ceiling window that stretches
along an entire wall. Behind the window are cots, a stove,
and some bean bag chairs placed around the floor. Robert runs
alongside the wall with Britney in his arms and Susan next to
him, until he locks eyes with a person inside the exhibit who
is sitting on a cot. Robert backs away from the window,
pulling Susan with him. The camera pans up above and we see
the words written on a plaque.

The Last of the Dying Breed: The Democrats.

Robert leads his family to an exit sign.

CUT TO:



EXT. ZOO

We hear sirens and a large commotion as Zoo Workers begin an
all out search for the escapee. Camera goes through a bush to
find a man sitting in a ball, trying not to breathe too
heavily. We listen to the sounds of panicked zoo-goers around
him as he hides his face in his arms. Then, we pull out to
see a worker walk past with a rifle in his hands.

ZOO WORKER
(to fellow employees)
Shoot to kill, people! Do you hear
me? Do not let him off the
premises! Shoot to kill!
(to self)
This is not good. Not good at all.

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[Joe Calabrese]

NOTE TO VOTERS:
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ENTRY #8
TITLE: THE TARZAN PROJECT
INSPIRED FROM ARTICLE 1: The Human Zoo

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ENTRY #8
THE TARZAN PROJECT



EXT. EVERMAY ZOOLOGICAL PARK

Almost invisible fencing weaves throughout a lush green
naturally overgrown retreat for captured animals of the wild.

Professor Alonzo HAYES and zoo keeper Nathan ROY walk briskly
past graceful giraffes that chew on leaves from tall trees.

Professor Hayes, a long haired aging hippy turned science
geek dons floppy safari gear with a pocket protector and wire
rimmed glasses walks with authority, as he is the boss.

Hayes and Roy move past a couple of hippos who loll in a
giant mud puddle.

ROY
I know you've seen the reports.
Alex is doing really well with
everyone: Ophelia, Duke, and
Mandingo.

HAYES
No fighting?

ROY
Just a few spats and some spitting
but, that's normal.

HAYES
And their eating?

ROY
Sharing food just like a family.

They stop at a gorilla cage and observe.

Next to them a sign:

THE TARZAN PROJECT
HUMAN/PRIMATE RESEARCH
From age 4 to 14 twin boys Alex and
Eric Hayes spent their formative
years living amongst a tribe of
gorillas in Zimbabwe. This is a
real life experiment to see how
humans as primates can and will
adapt to their environment.

INSIDE THE CAGE

ALEX Hayes, a 14 year old boy, scraggly, naked, and thin but
muscular crouches behind a young gorilla named Duke who
slowly devours an orange. Alex meticulously picks bugs from
the scalp of Duke and crushes them on the pavement.

Professor Hayes proudly nods his approval...mesmerized.

Roy moves on to the next cage.

ROY
They're getting along nicely but
Eric....

Hayes turns and follows.

HAYES
What about Eric?

ROY
(chuckling)
That boy.... Man, that boy...

Hayes moves up to the next cage. Alex's identical twin
brother ERIC appears the same but, he's wildly running and
swinging around the enclosure; almost as strong and fast as
any real gorilla. COCO, a young female gorilla encourages
him. She's a strumpet, teasing and flirting. She lets Eric
get close. Eric attempts to hump her. Then she sprints away.
Eric frantically follows her around with a giant erection.

HAYES
Oh....wow! Look at that.

ROY
What'd I tell you. We can't keep
that open to the public. And we
open in 15 minutes.

Hayes has a giant grin on his face.

ROY
Don't tell me....you're a proud
father now?!

HAYES
Genetically, I know it's impossible
but.... Wouldn't that be something.

ROY
(impatient)
Professor Hayes, what are we going
to do? Should I put them back
inside or what?

HAYES
If we could launch a new breed of
primate...if only...

His voice trails as he notices the shocked look of Roy's
face.

Tinny rock music plays. Roy flips open his phone.

ROY
This is Roy.

VOICE
(on phone)
There's a huge crowd at the gate.

ROY
Waiting to get in?

HAYES
I knew it. I knew it. We are
going to be famous.

VOICE
I think you better get down here.

Roy rolls his eyes and heads toward the entrance. Hayes
springs happily after him.



EXT. EVERMAY ZOOLOGICAL PARK - FRONT GATE ENTRANCE

Several PROTESTORS parade in front of the entrance. They
wave signs at pedestrians and passing cars....signs that say:
Boycott Evermay Zoo, Tarzan Project Inhumane, Federal Gov't
Shouldn't Support Child Abuse, Imprison Hayes...and more like
that.

The crowd of Protestors CHANT repeatedly in unison.

PROTESTORS
Hey hey, ho ho Professor Hayes has
got to go
He used his boys as guinea pigs
and we will not support
and we will not support

News MEDIA, CAMERAMEN and REPORTERS record everything.

A SECURITY GUARD turns his back on the Protestors and beckons
Roy and Hayes to hurry up.

Professor Hayes rushes the gate.

HAYES
What's going on here? What are
they saying?

Hayes is spotted by a Protestor who charges the gate and
SPITS in his face.

SPITTER
You BASTARD!

Hayes recoils.

ROY
I'm calling the police.

SECURITY GUARD
No need. They're already here.

The flashing lights of two police cruisers invade the scene.

INT. ON A CAMERA'S MONITOR

REPORTER
We're here at the Evermay
Zoological Park where...



INT. JEFFRIES' HOME, BEDROOM - SAME

ON A TELEVISION SCREEN

REPORTER
...several activists have
barricaded the entrance to the Zoo.
They're protesting a new exhibit,
The Tarzan Project where...

JERRY (V.O.)
(yelling)
Come check this out.

Hairy and naked except for a pair of ratty boxers, beer-gut
JERRY scratches his balls with one hand and picks his nose
with the other.

His wife, BARRIE, a female version of Jerry, in a threadbare
bathrobe comes in the room with a large, shallow bowl of
scrambled eggs and hamburger meat, and a couple of beers.
She's got a two packs of cigarettes a day, scratchy voice.

BARRIE
What?

JERRY
Some hate is fallin' down on that
dude, Hayes.

Barrie squints at the action of the television.

ON THE TELEVISION SCREEN

REPORTER
Anthropologist Alonzo Hayes is
about to open an exhibit called The
Tarzan Project. Many people are not
happy about it. It seems that....

IN THE BEDROOM

JERRY
You gonna give me that or what?!

Barrie hands him both beers.

JERRY
Them eggs smell good.

BARRIE
You know these ain't for you.
Yours in the kitchen.

There attention goes back to the television.

ON THE TELEVISION SCREEN

The Reporter interviews Professor Hayes.

REPORTER
.... is so much controversy around
your Tarzan Project.

HAYES
I don't know why. It's a
scientific experiment, fully
endorsed by a grant from the
federal government. And since only
my children are involved then no
one should complain. It's not
their problem.

REPORTER
How does you wife feel about you
using your children in this
experiment?

HAYES
She fully supports it. In fact, it
was her idea. And she wrote the
proposal that gave us the grant.

REPORTER
It was her idea to leave your twin
boys, Alex and Eric in an African
jungle with a family of gorillas?!

HAYES
Listen, I don't have time for this.
I've got a zoo to open.



IN THE BEDROOM

Dogs BARKING.

Barrie talks over her shoulder as she heads out of the room.

BARRIE
When you're done eating, you go see
Hayes. I think we're about due for
another check. Our baby is even
more valuable to him now with all
this fuss going on.

Barrie opens the back screened door.

BARRIE
Hey Butchie. Hey Jackie. You boys
ready to eat?

BUTCHIE, a large mutt and JACKIE, a young boy on all fours
like a dog twirl around and bark in excitement for food.
They pounce and chomp away together as Barrie places the
large bowl of eggs and beef on the ground. Barrie bends over
to rub their heads.

BARRIE
Jackie, you're going to make us
rich boy. You hear me? Rich.

TO BE CONTINUED...

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[Joe Calabrese]

NOTE TO VOTERS:
When judging, do not weigh FORMATTING heavily. Only one vote for your favorite script.

ENTRY #9
TITLE: 21ST CENTURY YENTA
INSPIRED FROM ARTICLE 1 and 2: The Human Zoo & Dangerous Jobs

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ENTRY #9
21ST CENTURY YENTA

FADE IN:


EXT. PARK AVENUE - DAY

RUBY MELTZER, 39 but looks ten years younger, svelte, dressed
in a power suit, blends in perfectly with the mix of suits
and shi-shi grand dames that populate New York's most
exclusive avenue.

RUBY (V.O.)
The perfect man is...

She passes by a group of four hot TWENTY-SOMETHINGS, who look
like they've barely grown into their pressed Armani.

RUBY (V.O.)
Not too young.

She looks to her right before crossing the street, spots a
distinguished SEVENTY YEAR OLD get out of a town car.

RUBY (V.O.)
Not too old.



EXT. SIDE STREET - CONTINUOUS

She eyes one prospect, an unusually good looking DOORMAN in
front of a posh hotel.

RUBY (V.O.)
Has to be good looking.

Ruby's attention turns to a handsome THIRTY-SOMETHING, whose
fancy suit and Rolex watch scream money.

RUBY (V.O.)
Has to have prospects.

Ruby follows him as he walks up the street towards Lexington
Avenue and the Bloomingdale's department store.



INT. BLOOMINGDALE'S - LOBBY - CONTINUOUS

Ruby follows the guy as he heads straight towards the jewelry
department.

RUBY (V.O.)
Has to have taste.



INT. BLOOMINGDALE'S - JEWELRY DEPARTMENT - CONTINUOUS

Ruby keeps a comfortable distance as she watches the guy look
at diamond engagement rings.

RUBY (V.O.)
Can't be afraid of commitment.

A gorgeous MODEL TYPE walks up to the guy. He gives her a
hug.

Ruby can't help but stare in disappointment as the guy points
to a ring in the case. The girl nods approvingly.

The SALES ASSOCIATE pulls out the tray of rings, hands the
guy one of the rings. He slips it onto the girl's finger. She
smiles big.

RUBY (V.O.)
He has to be single.



INT. NIGHT CLUB - NIGHT

Ruby nurses a complicated looking cocktail at a table in the
VIP section of a happening club.

DANCE MUSIC blasts.

Ruby eyes JASON BERGER, 32, tall, dark, handsome,
exceptionally well dressed, who orders a drink at the bar.

RUBY (V.O.)
Sure it doesn't hurt if he's tall,
dark, and handsome.

Jason takes two drinks from the bar, to which Ruby raises an
eyebrow.

Jason heads straight for Ruby.

RUBY (V.O.)
And of course it never hurts when
he comes to you.

Jason reaches Ruby's table. The drinks that he holds are the
same as the one that Ruby is already drinking.

JASON
I noticed you were drinking quite
an unusual drink there, so I
thought I'd get you another.
(beat)
Mind if I sit down?

RUBY
Go right ahead.

Jason puts the drinks down on the table. Takes the seat
across from Ruby.

JASON
I'm Jason.

RUBY
Ruby.

JASON
You go to clubs alone much?

Ruby nods.

RUBY
It's an occupational hazard.

JASON
Sounds like some wild job.

Ruby gives him a coy smile.

RUBY
I'd say. What about you?

JASON
I'm tagging along. Quite
embarrassing, actually.

RUBY
Why?

JASON
Well the people I'm tagging along
with... It's my little sister and
her friends.

RUBY
Sounds like some wild job.

They both laugh.

All of a sudden, Ruby's face turns serious.

RUBY
Jason?

JASON
Yes?

RUBY
Do you believe in love at first
sight?



INT. TEMPLE - DAY

Jason, dressed in a tux, holds the hands of his BRIDE, whose
identity is masked by an elaborate veil.

JASON
I do.

Jason slowly lifts the veil from his bride's face.

RUBY (V.O.)
At the end of the day, he just has
to be the one.

Ruby claps from her vantage point in the audience.



INT. STUDIO - DAY

Ruby sits on a stool, delivers a speech to a camera
positioned in the middle of the room.

RUBY
I'm Ruby Meltzer, the twenty first
century yenta.

Ruby's face goes sour, she scrunches up her nose.

RUBY
You think that sounds too cheesy?



INT. RUBY'S LOFT - DAY

Ruby pulls open the shades on her floor-to-ceiling windows.

She turns around to look at her loft - ultra-modern,
decorated to the T, could easily be a picture out of a haute
interior design magazine.

GWEN LEXLER, mid-20s, elegant, uber-professional, talks on
her headset.

GWEN
Got that, Mikey? No, twenty five.
That's thousand.

RUBY
Gwen!

GWEN
Hold on, Mikey.

Gwen takes the headset off.

GWEN
Yeah?

RUBY
How are we doing on the promo
piece?

Ruby walks over to where Gwen's standing.

GWEN
I'll call the producer and let you
know.

RUBY
And Gwen...

GWEN
Yeah?

Ruby grabs a set of keys off a coffee table.

RUBY
I want red velvet cupcakes for the
open house.

GWEN
Right. I'll go down to Magnolia
tonight.

RUBY
No, not Magnolia. Buttercup.

Ruby heads for the door.

GWEN
Buttercup. Check.

She puts one hand on the handle, pauses, turns around to face
Gwen.

RUBY
And Gwen...one more thing.

Gwen looks a bit annoyed but tries to hide it.

RUBY
Get me a car for the wedding. Oh
and a present too.



INT. WEDDING RECEPTION HALL - NIGHT

Ruby sits at a table alone, watches wedding guests get down
on the dance floor.

AUNT JANE, 70s, a typical busybody, with big glasses and an
even bigger teased out jewfro, sits down next to Ruby.

AUNT JANE
Rub-bel-uh!

RUBY
(with disdain)
Aunt Jane!

AUNT JANE
Isn't this beautiful? Your cousin
Amanda, finally getting married.
Boruch ashem.

Aunt Jane leans in closer to Ruby.

AUNT JANE
You know, Rub-bel-uh, you are not
getting any younger.

Aunt Jane laughs, pokes Ruby with her elbow.

RUBY
Umm....well...

AUNT JANE
And with your profession! If you
can find even a fine prince for a
girl who is almost a leper...

Ruby shifts back from Aunt Jane.

RUBY
I prefer not to mix business with
pleasure.

AUNT JANE
Your mother would've given anything
to see you in white, bless her
heart in heaven.

Ruby swallows hard, her eyes glaze over. Aunt Jane's words
have hit a chord in her, but she quickly regains her
composure and manages a smile.

DEEP MALE VOICE (O.S.)
May I cut in?

Ruby turns around to see SCOTT COHEN, 38, his scruffy mop of
hair, five o'clock shadow, wire rim glasses, give him the
sophisticated appeal of intelligentsia. Scott uses a manual
wheelchair.

RUBY
Scott! What are you doing here?

SCOTT
Watching my friend lose his
freedom. You?

RUBY
Same. Amanda's my cousin.

AUNT JANE
Ugh! So much cynicism. It's bad for
the blood pressure.

Aunt Jane gets up and walks away from the table.

Ruby stands up.

RUBY
Care to take a walk?

Scott laughs.

SCOTT
You sure have a way of hitting a
man when he's down.

RUBY
Since when are you Mr. P.C.?

SCOTT
Ten years and people can surprise
you.

Ruby smiles, nostalgic.

RUBY
Yeah.



INT. RUBY'S LOFT - MORNING

Ruby opens one eye, watches Scott sleep like an angel.

She tries to get up as quietly as possible so as not to
disturb him, but Scott wakes with a groan.

SCOTT
There's something about weddings
isn't there?

RUBY
I get to go to a lot of them.

Ruby walks over to the window.

SCOTT
And yet none are your own.

She pulls the blinds open.

RUBY
Highly perceptive of you.

Turns around to face Scott, who has propped himself up so
that he's sitting against the backboard.

SCOTT
That's why they pay me the big
bucks.

Ruby walks over to her answering machine, presses a button.

ANSWERING MACHINE VOICE (V.O.)
You have ten new messages.

SCOTT
Do you always do that?

ANSWERING MACHINE VOICE (V.O.)
First new message.

RUBY
Do what?

SCOTT
Check your voicemail after post
wedding post-coital.

ANSWERING MACHINE VOICE (V.O.)
Three fifty-one P.M.

RUBY
I'm a busy woman, Scott.

ANSWERING MACHINE VOICE (V.O.)
Thursday, September 8th.

SCOTT
So I've read.

ANSWERING MACHINE VOICE (V.O.)
To listen to message, press one, to
delete, press two, to skip, press
pound.

SCOTT
Do I at least get breakfast?

She presses a button on the machine, grabs her Blackberry.

RUBY
If you make it.

She checks her Blackberry. The screen shows a full schedule
for the day.

RUBY
I've got a lot on my plate today.

EXT. NIGHT CLUB - NIGHT

Ruby walks out of the club, big smile on her face. She types
away on her Blackberry, doesn't really watch where she's
going.

DANIEL LARCHMONT, III, 41, extremely handsome, modestly
dressed, rushes after her.

DANIEL
Ruby! Hey Ruby, wait up.

She turns to look at him.

RUBY
Do I know you?

DANIEL
Daniel Larchmont.

Ruby blushes.

RUBY
Of course.

DANIEL
Listen, I happened to see that
article about you in the Times and
I thought maybe...
(beat)
Maybe you can help me.

Ruby raises an eyebrow.

Daniel looks self-conscious.

DANIEL
What's wrong?

RUBY
Sorry. I just didn't expect that
someone who's listed as one of
People's fifty most eligible
bachelors would require my
services. My god, Daniel Larchmont,
every girl in this country has got
to be crazy for you.

DANIEL
Are you?

RUBY
(indignant)
No.

DANIEL
Therein lays the problem.

Ruby smiles.

RUBY
Herein lays the solution.

Daniel points to a waiting chauffeured car.

DANIEL
Care for a ride?



INT. CAR - MOVING - NIGHT

Daniel and Ruby share the backseat of an executive car.

DANIEL
You know, I've never had a
girlfriend.

RUBY
I find that hard to believe.

DANIEL
I just don't see myself committing
to a woman unless I really want to
be with her. I haven't met someone
who's taken my breath away.

RUBY
Would you classify yourself as
someone who has trouble opening up
to others?

DANIEL
Is that question really necessary?

RUBY
If I'm going to work with you, it
is.

DANIEL
I guess. I mean, generally speaking
I find that people have difficulty
opening up to me. I'm always Daniel
Larchmont, III. There's a certain
perception that goes with that.

RUBY
So you're looking for someone who
can see you for who you are? The
real you?


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[Joe Calabrese]

NOTE TO VOTERS:
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ENTRY #10
TITLE: THE NAKED APE
INSPIRED FROM ARTICLE 1: Crowds go ape over 'humans' zoo exhibit

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ENTRY #10
THE NAKED APE



Blaring RAP MUSIC thumps and bumps.

FADE IN:



INT. LONDON TOWN HOUSE - DAY

Early morning light streams through elegant Victorian windows
into a posh town house. The windows and furnishings rattle
and shake to the beat of the pounding music.

DIERDRE, late 40's, botoxed and a bit too tight, hurries down
a narrow hallway in slippers, bathrobe and 'bed hair'. She
struggles with a large laundry basket, bumping a gallery of
family pictures on the wall as she goes.

She knocks a frame to the floor -- a wedding portrait of a
much younger Dierdre and a handsome, dark-haired man.

Dierdre sneers at the picture and kicks it out of the way.

She passes a window. A black car parks across the street.
Dierdre stares at it for a bit, then pulls down the shade.

BILLY, 14, a somber, goth-wannabe in black pajamas, squeezes
past her. His pasty skin and cheap hair-dye don't quite hide
his intelligent eyes.

DIERDRE
(shouts above the music)
Morning.

BILLY
Meh.

Billy turns a corner and stops at a closed door. He SWEARS
under his breath. Music BLARES from behind the door.

He tries the doorknob. It's locked.

BILLY (CONT'D)
JOHN!! Open up.

No response. Billy hits the door with his hand, soundless
under the thumping music.

BILLY (CONT'D)
JOHN -- OPEN UP! I need to use the
bog.



INT. BATHROOM - CONTINUOUS

JOHN, late 40s - the man in the wedding portrait 'gone to
seed' - stands in a blinding white bathroom. He's overweight
with an unnaturally dark, low hairline that screams 'Hair
Club for Men'.

He wears nothing but a towel. As he nods to the pounding
BEAT of music, he carefully dabs bronzer onto his face.

He steps back to admire the effect in the mirror. He smiles.
Bleaching strips cover his teeth. He carefully peels them
off, rinses and spits.

He drops his towel and CURSES under his breath as he squeezes
into a pair of tummy-support briefs. He hears a vague
banging on the door and flicks off the music.

JOHN
Alright... alright. Be out in two
ticks.

He opens the medicine cabinet and grabs a pill bottle.
Viagra. He downs two caplets.

He takes a last look in the mirror and gives himself a sultry
wink.



INT. KITCHEN - DAY

Dierdre, still in her bathrobe but now beautifully coiffed,
sits at the kitchen table. She dumps loose tea into a teapot
as she scans the society section of the newspaper.

John enters in a ridiculously trendy suit. He pecks Dierdre
on the cheek, pours himself a cup of tea and sits.

JOHN
Bloody gorgeous day.

Dierdre raises her eyebrows, but doesn't look up.

DIERDRE
Is it? I hadn't noticed.

John sips the tea and grimaces as he swallows.

JOHN
Lovely tea, dear. As always.

Dierdre lazily turns a page, and ignores him.

DIERDRE
Nigel dropped off papers for you to
sign.

JOHN
Did he? This morning?

DIERDRE
No. Yesterday. While I was out.

With forced casualness she retrieves a stack of legal-looking
documents with a note on the front:"SIGN ASAP -- WILL EXPLAIN
LATER. YOUR LOVING SOLICITOR, NIGEL"

JOHN
Good God. Nigel knows I'm a
numbers man. I'll never get
through these before work. I've
got a nine o'clock with the
Chairman. If I'm late, he'll have
my arse in a sling...

John looks at the first page.

JOHN (CONT'D)
Since when did we become
contributors to the Royal
Zoological Society?

Diedre reacts visibly, then covers.

DIERDRE
I suppose Nigel's finally found us
an investment shelter.

Diedre quickly folds the stack to the last page and hands
John a pen. She watches him keenly as he hesitates.

DIERDRE
Nigel's your oldest, dearest
friend. If you can't trust him...?

John signs and Diedre whisks the papers away.

Billy sneaks in and quietly grabs his backpack off the
counter.

DIERDRE (CONT'D)
Billy, darling. Sit and have a
proper brecky.

Billy slumps into a chair. All three look at each other
blankly. A wall clock ticks loudly in the background.

JOHN
Well then. I'd best be off.

BILLY
Me too.

John bolts from the table. Billy grabs a piece of toast and
rushes after him.

Dierdre waits motionless for several seconds.

Upon hearing the front door open and shut, she flies into
action. She whisks off her bathrobe -- she's fully dressed
beneath.

She grabs her cell phone and rushes to the window she looked
out earlier. She pulls up the blind, signals to the black
car and dials her phone.

DIERDRE
(into phone)
Nigel? Dearest, it's done. Yes...
I'll be right over.



EXT. LONDON TOWN HOUSE - DAY

John and Billy walk down the stoop. John pulls a ratty biker
jacket over his suit and puts on a motorcycle helmet. Billy
pulls a formal school blazer and cap over his black goth
wear. They both shrug into backpacks.

Billy looks like a grown-up little man. In contrast, John
looks like a waster.

John unchains his motorcycle as Billy meets up with a
SCHOOLMATE and walks off.

BILLY
See ya', John.

JOHN
Cheers then, mate.

Billy and schoolmate talk quietly until out of earshot of
John.

SCHOOLMATE
My dad would tonk me if I called
him by his first name.

JOHN
Well... it's his idea, not mine.

Billy and schoolmate look back and watch John as he starts
his motorcycle and passes by, waving.

They never notice the black car that pulls out, and follows
John.



EXT. LUCINDA'S FLAT - DAY

John chains his motorcycle to a gate in front of a stylish
brownstone in a dodgy part of London. He tries to sprint up
the steps, but pulls a muscle and walks instead.

He pauses at a door, checks his breath, then knocks.

LUCINDA, 30ish, opens the door. She's a tart - no way around
it - but a luscious one.

JOHN
Madame Chairman.

LUCINDA
You're late.

She grabs him by the collar and pulls him inside.



INT. LUCINDA'S BEDROOM - DAY

Lucinda and John lie in bed, smiling and sated. John looks
over at Lucinda.

JOHN
You've got the most lovely smile,
you know that?

Lucinda blinks coyly -- yes, she knows.

JOHN (CONT'D)
I can't remember the last time
Dierdre smiled at me. I mean
really smiled at me. It must be a
year...? Two years? She just
gives me the same, blank look...

LUCINDA
Don't be too hard on her, darling.
She probably can't smile.
(whispers)
All that botox.

John frowns, contemplative for a moment.

JOHN
No. It's more than that. I think
she might suspect something.

LUCINDA
If she finds out, you don't think
she'd go all barmy on us, do you?
I don't think I could handle a
bunny boiler...

JOHN
No. I think she's rather hoping
I'm having an affair.

Lucinda looks puzzled for a second, then turns away.

LUCINDA
Well then. That takes a bit of the
fun out of it.

John looks at the walls of the room. They're scattered with
photographs and framed newspaper clippings of important men.

JOHN
Why is it I've only got a small
clipping in the corner there. I
should at least deserve a
photograph. Your last conquest
got a glossy eight-by-ten.

Above the footboard is a portrait of a distinguished, middle
aged man.

Below it is a framed clipping from 'The Sun' showing the same
man shielding his face with his hand. The headline reads
"Archbishop SEX Scandal - PASH in the PARISH".

Lucinda glances at John, then pointedly turns her attention
to her manicure.

LUCINDA
You're a senior partner in an
ancient accountancy firm that's
seen its better days, darling.

She bites off a bit of cuticle and delicately spits it away.

LUCINDA (CONT'D)
You make a bigger name for yourself
and we'll see.



EXT. LUCINDA'S FLAT - DAY

John stands at the spot where he left his motorcycle.
There's nothing but a cut chain.

JOHN
For ****'s sake...?

Lucinda smiles down from an open window.

LUCINDA
Darling, there's always the tube.

John looks down the street and sees an Underground station.
He swears under his breath, then hurries off toward it.

Behind him, DUKE, late 50's, crusty and arthritic, gets out
of the black car and follows. He's wearing 1960's safari
gear.

He pulls out a two-way and whispers into it, sounding like a
Brit doing a very poor imitation of John Wayne.

DUKE
Indian...? Can you hear me?

INDIAN (O.C.)
(filtered)
Go ahead.

DUKE
I've got him in my sights... right
in the middle of that herd of
wildebeests. See him?

INDIAN (O.C.)
(filtered)
What the...?

DUKE
He's headed into the tube
station... with a rucksack and a
motorcycle helmet...

INDIAN (O.C.)
(filtered)
Oh yeah... I see him. He's a good
one. Start out easy, now... he's
in a crowd...



INT. TUBE STATION - DAY

John rushes through a turnstile and jogs confusedly through
the station, searching for his tube line.

Duke tracks John discretely, and waves to INDIAN, mid 50's,
fair-haired and weak-chinned, dressed in similar safari gear.
They're only a few feet apart, but they continue to talk on
their two-ways.

DUKE
Let him run a little while... wear
him down.

INDIAN
All right... tell me when you want
him.

They follow John down an escalator. John roughly pushes past
an old lady with a cane.

DUKE
Be careful... he's a mean one.

John hurries around a corner. Indian rushes to catch up.

DUKE
Move in a little closer, Indian...
don't lose him...

Indian is only a few feet behind John as a train pulls into
the station.

DUKE
(whispers)
Go easy now... easy...

The train doors open and John steps in. He doesn't take a
seat, but stands. Indian slips in behind him. Moments
later, Duke joins them.

They both flank John, but he doesn't notice in the crowded
train. The doors close, and the train rattles and roars
between stations. As the train stops, Duke nods to Indian.

The train doors open. John stands motionless -- it's not his
stop.

Just before the doors close, Indian grabs John by the arm and
pulls him out the door. John flails his arms in protest, and
lurches back into the train.

JOHN
What the...! This isn't my stop...
LET GO--

Duke grabs John's other arm and points toward John's
backpack.

DUKE
(shouting)
He's got a BOMB!

The passengers on the train SHRIEK and YELL in panic. One of
them pulls an alarm. Others force John out of the train.

Indian and Duke wrestle him to the floor of the station.
Passengers on the platform scatter and run.

The train doors close, and the train zooms away.

Duke pulls a tranquilizer dart out of his belt -- the sort
used for big game -- and jabs it into John's butt.

John looks up for a bleary second. He sees a yellow "Way
Out" sign, and then everything goes black.



EXT. ZOO -- 'THE NAKED APE' EXHIBIT - DAY

Bird cries and wild animal calls punctuate the air.

John lies on a rock ledge, surrounded by artificial boulders
and lush vegetation. He's unconscious and stripped to his
essence - no hair piece, bronzer, tummy-control briefs or
trendy clothes.

He wears only a speedo with pinned-on fig leaves.

Gradually, WHISPERS from a crowd carry through the animal
calls.

YOUNG GIRL (O.S.)
(whispers)
Is he just going to lie there?
Doesn't he do anything?

YOUNG BOY (O.S.)
(whispers)
I think he's sick. That's how
Fluffers looked when he got
bloat...

A small crowd of people stare down at John from an
observation post. Some stand and gape, others tsk and walk
on.

STERN MAN
...oh sure, this is all well and
good until we get to the poo
flinging and compulsive
masturbation...

PARANOID WOMAN
...it's all part of a greater
social plot. They're conditioning
us to live in unquestioning
subservience to an ever-present and
watchful Big Brother...

The YOUNG GIRL and YOUNG BOY read an exhibit placard with
their MUM.

YOUNG GIRL
Mum... what's ander...
anderpeas...?

MUM
It says: "Warning: Human in
andropause, also known as mid-life
crisis. This life stage is often
characterized by...

As her voice carries to John, his eyes flutter and open. He
sits up, dazed, scrubbing his face with his hands.

MUM (O.S.) (CONT'D)
...hormonal, physical,
psychological, sexual, and
spiritual changes.

As things come into focus, John looks first to the faces
staring back at him, and then to his state of undress. He
screams and scrambles to his feet.

MUM (O.S.) (CONT'D)
Mood swings and heightened
irritability make for particularly
fascinating observation...

John looks around frantically. There's no place to hide.

He spots a shallow cave in a corner of the exhibit and
sprints over to it, his hands over his goolies.

(to be continued)
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[Joe Calabrese]

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ENTRY #11
TITLE: THE GRAVEYARD OF THE ATLANTIC
INSPIRED FROM ARTICLE 3: The USS Monitor's Cat Mystery

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ENTRY #11
The Graveyard of the Atlantic



FADE IN:

Title Bar: 1935 -- OFF CAPE HATTERAS, NORTH CAROLINA



EXT - ATLANTIC OCEAN, UNDERWATER - DAY

Off the coast of Cape Hatteras, North Carolina, a team of
three divers investigates a sunken 4-masted schooner.
The divers; wearing face masks, snorkels, and swim fins;
are only recognizable as two men and a woman.

The larger of the two men, MICHAEL WILLIAMS, swims toward
the cargo hold of the ship. He peers into the darkness
for a moment, puts an arm in, then motions his friends
up.

The three divers swim to the surface. The smaller man,
CHARLES WILLIAMS, puts his arm around the woman, HELEN
WILLIAMS' waist as they swim upward.



EXT - ATLANTIC OCEAN, SURFACE - DAY

Charles, Helen, and Michael break the surface, and remove
their gear. Charles is about thirty, with sandy,
thinning hair. Helen is 23, and Michael is 19; both are
dark-haired but fair-skinned. The three are siblings,
and their easy familiarity is clear.

Their boat, the "Carolina Queen," is anchored nearby. It
is a small, single-masted sailboat. The paint is
peeling, and the equipment is dilapidated. The Williams
are clearly amateur divers, rather than professional
treasure-hunters.

The group swims toward the Carolina Queen, so eager to
discuss their find that they cannot wait until they are
out of the water.

CHARLES
What do you think?

Michael grins.

MICHAEL
The cargo hold was collapsed, but there
were definitely bags aboard. Hard as
rocks.

Charles nods with a knowing smile.

CHARLES
It's the Katherine Monahan.

Helen hoists herself onto the sailboat with a grunt.

HELEN
The one loaded with concrete. That must
be why it was half-buried already.

CHARLES
That's her. 1910. Michael, be sure to
take the bearings and chart the location,
so the team from the University can find
her again.

Michael, the only one still in the water, tosses his
equipment good-naturedly into the boat.

MICHAEL
Aye-aye, Cap'n. Permission to come
aboard first?

Helen, who is pulling on a white sailing dress over her
bathing suit, sniggers.

Charles holds out a hand, and helps pull Michael up.

CHARLES
It's a good thing you're the best diver
in the Carolinas, because you're also the
slowest. Let's head back.



EXT - HANSEN'S MARINA - DAY

Helen, Charles, and Michael are unloading their equipment
from the boat. A new white Plymouth coupe pulls up, and
DR. DAVIDSON gets out. He is in his fifties, overweight,
and has a pompous walk that exudes prosperity.

Dr. Davidson hails the Williams. Charles looks
moderately irritated to see him.

DR. DAVIDSON
Any luck, Charles? Was it the Veturia?

CHARLES
No. The Katherine Monohan. I told you I
thought the Veturia was further north.

DR. DAVIDSON
I tell you, hunting ironclads is
impossible. No news, then?

CHARLES
Not since yesterday. Dr. Davidson, I'd
like you to meet my team. My brother,
Michael, is studying Marine Biology at
Stanford. My sister, Helen, who writes
for the Washington Post.

Dr. Davidson kisses Helen's hand. She rolls her eyes at
Charles.

DR. DAVIDSON
Charles, you never told me your sister
was such a beauty! I'll bet you look a
veritable mermaid under the water, my
dear.

Helen murmurs something politely unintelligible.

CHARLES
Was there something you wanted, Richard?

DR. DAVIDSON
(Recollecting himself)
Yes, of course. I've located a survivor.

All three Williams start up, violently.

HELEN
How is that possible?

DR. DAVIDSON
A cabin boy. He was twelve when the
Monitor went down. His father was one of
the officers.

MICHAEL
But even still, he'd be...what, 84?

DR. DAVIDSON
Something like that. Lives in a little
house on Topsail Sound. He was a dock
worker all over these parts for years,
but he's retired now.

Helen and Charles look at each other with just the barest
hint of hesitation.

HELEN
(Nodding)
I'll go.

She turns to her younger brother.

HELEN (CONT'D)
You want to come?

MICHAEL
You bet. I'll meet you in an hour?

HELEN
Right.

She takes Dr. Davidson by the arm. He seems alarmed,
perhaps at the thought of his car getting wet.

HELEN (CONT'D)
Now, Doctor, tell me exactly where
this...

DR. DAVIDSON
er...Thomas Carroll.

HELEN
Right. Tell me where he lives.



EXT - CARROLL'S HOUSE - DUSK

Michael pulls a battered Ford truck to a stop in front of
a weathered cottage. Helen, dressed in a tailored gray
suit, gets out, and she and Michael walk up the stone
path.

The door opens, and THOMAS CARROLL, JR. peers out at him.
He is a stocky old man, with his long white hair tied
back, sailor fashion.

THOMAS CARROLL, JR.
Hello, there. Don't get many visitors
out here.

HELEN
Mr. Carroll, I'm Helen Williams, a
reporter with the Washington Post. My
brother Michael and I were wondering if
we could have a few minutes of your time?

THOMAS CARROLL, JR.
H'ain't got nothin' but time these days.
Come in.



INT - CARROLL'S HOUSE - DUSK

Helen and Michael step into the living room. It is
shabby but clean, and profusely decorated with ocean
artifacts. A large gray cat is curled in one of the
chairs.

Thomas motions the pair onto a yellow horsehair sofa. He
picks up the cat, and sits down with it. The cat curls
up on his lap, kneads, and goes back to sleep, purring.

THOMAS CARROLL, JR.
So someone's finally come to hear my
story.

Helen and Michael look at each other quizzically.

MICHAEL
I beg your pardon, sir? What story is
that?

THOMAS CARROLL, JR.
The cat, of course. You want to hear
about my cat, don't you?

The Williams look completely bewildered.

HELEN
Um, we, that is, my two brothers and I,
have been looking for the U.S.S. Monitor.
We spend every summer here, diving. My
brother is a history professor at
Columbia University.

THOMAS CARROLL, JR.
(Raising his eyebrows)
Is he, now?

Helen laughs nervously.

HELEN
Oh, no, not Michael. My older brother,
Charles. He couldn't come.

THOMAS CARROLL, JR.
So what is it you want my help with?

HELEN
Well, we...we've been looking for the
wreck of the Monitor for the past three
years--diving, you see. No one seems to
know quite where it is, but...

Thomas waves a hand at her.

THOMAS CARROLL, JR.
You're wasting your time.

HELEN
I--I'm sorry?

THOMAS CARROLL, JR.
We were twenty miles out to sea when the
Monitor went down. It's much to deep for
you to reach.

MICHAEL
But some of the records say the
lighthouse was visible during the storm.

THOMAS CARROLL, JR.
Bull. Couldn't see nothing but water and
rain.

HELEN
Oh. Well, then. I'm terribly sorry we
troubled you.

Thomas looks most put out.

THOMAS CARROLL, JR.
You mean to say you came all the way here
from Washington, and you're not going to
listen about my cat?

Helen looks surprised again, but settles back on the
sofa. Clearly she plans to humor the crazy old man.

HELEN
Oh. No, of course. We'd love to hear
about your cat. What is it's name?

THOMAS CARROLL, JR.
Cassie. I named her after my
grandmother.

HELEN
Oh, that's lovely. How old is she?

THOMAS CARROLL, JR.
Well, I don't recollect exactly what year
she was born, but I'd say she's about
seventy-six years old.

Michael knocks over a lamp. Helen sits bolt upright, her
eyes as big as saucers.

HELEN
Did you say your cat was seventy-six?

Thomas laughs. He is obviously thrilled to have so
stunned his city visitors.

THOMAS CARROLL, JR.
Oh, yes. She was the ship's cat on the
Monitor, you know. Took her on board,
myself.

Michael stammers a reply.

MICHAEL
That cat...the one that's sitting on your
lap...fought in the Civil War?

THOMAS CARROLL, JR.
Yup. But I haven't had her the whole
time, you know. That jerk Butts stuffed
her in one of the cannons, and she was
s'posed to have drowned.

HELEN
Hang on, I've heard that story. I
thought the cat was black, though.

THOMAS CARROLL, JR.
It was dark. Cassie was the only cat on
the ship, so it must have been her. I
lost my two best friends when the
Monitor went down. Cassie, and Robert
Cook.

HELEN
Cook?

THOMAS CARROLL, JR.
Oh, Robert was the other boy on the
Monitor. We weren't really cabin boys,
you know. Our actual title was Coal
Beavers. We were the same age, Robert
and me. Always in trouble.

Thomas pets the cat gently, looking troubled.

THOMAS CARROLL, JR.
(CONT'D)
Robert...never made it off the Monitor.
My two best friends gone in one night.

HELEN
(Sympathetic)
But...Cassie came back?

THOMAS CARROLL, JR.
Oh, yes. I never believed she'd died,
you know. And nearly fifty years later,
she came back to me, on the Carrol A.
Deering.

Michael looks thoroughly alarmed now.

MICHAEL
(Under his breath, to Helen)
The ghost ship.

HELEN
(whirling to look at Michael)
The ghost ship?

He nods, white-faced.

Ever the reporter, Helen takes out her notebook, and
turns back to Thomas.

HELEN (CONT'D)
Mr. Carroll, would you start at the
beginning, please?

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[Joe Calabrese]

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ENTRY #12
TITLE: CANCER BLOWS
INSPIRED FROM ARTICLE 2: Dangerous Jobs.

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ENTRY #12
CANCER BLOWS



FADE IN:



INT. MANHATTAN BAR -- NIGHT

A decidedly bruised, broken and pissed off man, 30, sits at
the bar. He munches on peanuts and nurses a beer. This is
DUKE. GEORGE, the bartender, leans it.

GEORGE
Lookin' a little pissed, Duke.

DUKE
Yep.

GEORGE
Tough day at the office?

DUKE
Yep.

GEORGE
Well you know what they say...

DUKE
What?

GEORGE
What?

DUKE
What do they say?

GEORGE
I don't know...something.

DUKE
You suck, George.

Duke pays and hobbles out of the bar.



EXT. MANHATTAN BAR

Duke hits the street...typical New York crowds bounce him
around as he makes his way to the corner. He tries to flag a
cab. Thinks better of it. He starts walking.



EXT. WEST SIDE APARTMENT BUILDING -- LATER

He hobbles up the steps. His leg is giving him some pain. He
takes out his keys...



INT. WEST SIDE APARTMENT BUILDING

The door slams on him as he enters the foyer. He opens his
mailbox...everything spills onto the floor. He bends to scoop
up the mail...but is way too sore to complete the job.
Exasperated, he leaves everything on the floor and heads
toward the elevator. And stares at the "OUT OF ORDER, SORRY
FOLKS" sign. A tear forms in his eye. He looks at the stairs.

TWELFTH FLOOR

He is incredibly stiff and sweaty when he tops the stairs.


INT. DUKE'S APARTMENT

He comes in, drops his keys on the floor. Hits the answering
machine button as he heads to the bathroom...

ANSWERING MACHINE
Primary Mail...box. 2 Messages.
Message one.

BATHROOM

Duke shoves the stopper into the tub drain and turns the hot
water on full blast. He dumps epsom salt into the tub and
begins to take his shirt off...

FEMALE
Hey...Hey. tough break, Dookie! You
gonna be ok? Mom said that she saw
you on the news...so at least you
made it to Atlanta...you're a semi
star!

Duke strips...his body is covered in bruises and scrapes...he
looks like he could have been drug behind a stagecoach.

FEMALE (CONT'D)
Seriously. I'm gonna be in the city
next week. Let's get
together...tell me all about it.
Love ya, bro.

Duke steps toward the tub. Relief is in site...

ANSWERING MACHINE
Thursday...5:45 P...M. Message Two.

GRUFF MALE
Hey, Mr. Branger, this is Jerry,
the super.

Duke steps into the tub...his entire body convulses...the
water is ice cold!

GRUFF MALE (CONT'D)
Yeah...we're gonna be workin' on
the boiler for about five hours so
they ain't gonna be no hot water
tonight. Sorry if this is a pain.

Duke smiles...despite the chill. He wraps a towel around
himself. Heads for the kitchen.

KITCHEN

He opens the fridge. Nothing. Opens the cabinets. Nothing.

BEDROOM

Duke, still in towel, slings himself onto the bed. He sleeps.

DUKE (V.O.)
You wanna know what New York is?
It's a series of people telling you
in precise terms exactly why it is
that you can't get what you want.



BEGIN SERIES:

A TEENAGE GIRL with serious attitude shakes her head.

GIRL
We don't have that.

A RENTAL CAR CLERK shakes his head.

CLERK
If you look at the fine print on
the add, you'll see the weekend
special is available in all areas
EXCEPT New York City.

A FAST FOOD CLERK smirks.

FAST FOOD CLERK
We don't take that coupon!

A WAITRESS smiles, condescendingly.

WAITRESS
We just ran out of Salmon.

A MOVIE THEATRE CASHIER chews gum.

CASHIER
That movie is sold out.

A BANK MANAGER smiles.

BANK MANAGER
We don't cash checks.

A GREASY MAN sits behind a thick wall of protective glass.

GREASY MAN
NO!!!!



END SERIES.



INT. HOSPITAL ROOM - TWO DAYS EARLIER

Duke, unscratched and in perfect health, stands in front of a
bed.

DUKE
I don't think I can do that.

TIMMY, 14, hair just beginning to grow back from his chemo,
is extremely pissed.

TIMMY
Why not?

DUKE
Because I'm fairly sure it's
unethical and I KNOW it's illegal.

TIMMY
You said you were here to grant my
wish. Right?

DUKE
Yes.

TIMMY
You said I could have anything I
want, Right?

DUKE
Yes...but...

TIMMY
That's what I want.

DUKE
I think you're missing the point of
what we do...

TIMMY
Listen! I'm not on treatment. I'm
gonna die here in this bed. I don't
think a visit from one of the
****ing Yankees is gonna cut it!

DUKE
There's no need to use that kind of
language.

TIMMY
I'm sorry. I don't have the luxury
of waiting four years until I'm
eighteen so that I can legally
swear. I'll be dead in a week.

DUKE
That's not necessarily true.

TIMMY
You've done this a lot?

DUKE
What?

TIMMY
Wish granting.

DUKE
A couple of times.

TIMMY
How many kids you know survive
longer than a month when they go
off Chemo.

A moment. The two just stare at each other.

DUKE
I'll see what I can do.

He leaves the room.



INT. HOSPITAL ICU HALLWAY

As Duke comes out of the room, MAGGIE, 28, stands...she holds
probably 50 or 60 very clearly labeled and color coded files.

MAGGIE
Well?

DUKE
It'll take a bit of work.

They begin the long walk down the hall.

MAGGIE
The Yankees, right?

DUKE
Didn't seem that into baseball.

MAGGIE
Well, what then?

DUKE
I'm gonna have to get back to you
on that.

MAGGIE
What? Why?

DUKE
I just have to do some checking.

MAGGIE
Look, you can't leave me in the
dark here. We only have so much
time. He went off the treatment two
weeks ago.

DUKE
I know.

MAGGIE
So there are things we need to set
in motion. If he wants to meet
someone from out of state, we have
to book travel...

DUKE
I don't think travel will be
necessary.

They reach the double doors.

MAGGIE
Then what the hey does he want?

DUKE
Maggie, if you say "hey" and mean
"hell"...it's the same thing as
saying "hell".

He pushes through the doors and leaves her.

MAGGIE
(shouting)
We are a team!



INT. LAW LIBRARY -- LATER

Duke pours through a legal manual. He finds what he's looking
for. He sighs. He writes the number "16" on a yellow legal
pad. Underlines it. Twice. He slams the book closed.



INT. HUNT MANHATTAN BANK TRADING FLOOR -- DAY

There is a constant hub-bub of activity all around Duke as he
sits at his very small work area of a long desk shared by 15
other traders. He talks on the phone.

DUKE
I need to meet with someone from
legal. Maggie. I can't tell you
right now. Because you'll freak.
yes you will.

A secretary yells...

SECRETARY
Bobby, I have Johan on your roll.

BOBBY happens to sit next to Duke.

BOBBY
Tell him to **** off.

SECRETARY
You want me to get a number?

BOBBY
No. I want you to tell him I said
to **** off.

SECRETARY
Bobby, I can't...

BOBBY
TELLHIMTO****OFF!!!!

DUKE
Maggie? Does the group have a legal
council? Right. I need to meet with
them.

BOBBY
****er totally bailed on me last
week...left me hanging out to dry
with those Brazilian 20's.

DUKE
Yes. You can come.

He hangs up.

BOBBY
What's up? Wanna grab a beer?

DUKE
Sure.



INT. MANHATTAN BAR -- LATER

The place is packed. Duke and Bobby drink at the bar.

BOBBY
You just gotta cut that **** loose.

DUKE
I know. I've just been feeling
nostalgic lately.

BOBBY
That is totally unlike you.

DUKE
I know. I just...Do you know that I
have broken off contact with pretty
much everyone I know. It's like,
when I move from a place, I just
sever the ties. Completely abandon
it.

BOBBY
Sometimes it's better that way. I
say **** 'em.

DUKE
That's your answer to everything.

BOBBY
Generally works.

DUKE
Yeah.

He drinks.

BOBBY
You are not thinking about HER
again.

DUKE
No.

BOBBY
You should just look her up. How
hard can it be?

DUKE
To find a "Gomez" in New York
City?? No, I'm sure there are only
three or four...thousand.

BOBBY
Well, start calling. You are never
gonna move on.

DUKE
I wouldn't know what to say anyway.

BOBBY
you say, "hey baby...let's get
together...have some coffee...you
know...warm up a bit".

DUKE
Oh. yeah. that'd work.

George, the bartender leans in.

GEORGE
Girl trouble, Duke?

DUKE
Sure.

GEORGE
She's told you she's a lesbian
right? That's the new one.
Lesbianism is the date-rape of the
new millennium.

DUKE
Please tell me you are not going to
elaborate on that.

GEORGE
I'm serious. I seen it all. You
remember in the early 90's...seemed
like every girl you met had a story
about how she got date-raped? Then
in the mid-nineties, suddenly every
girl had a story about how she was
bi-sexual. Now it's lesbianism.
They all lesbians. Who know's what
it's gonna be next...I believe it
was molestation in the '80s.

They stare in disbelief.

DUKE
You suck, George.



INT. WISH LIST NYC OFFICE -- MORNING

CONFERENCE ROOM
Duke and Maggie sit at one end of a
huge mahogany table. Mr. DeFALCO,
40's sits at the other end.

DEFALCO
So...how long have you been working
here...uh Mr?

DUKE
Branger. Duke Branger.

DEFALCO
Duke?

DUKE
Yes.

DEFALCO
(horrible John Wayne)
Well...nice to meet ya, partner.

DUKE
(deadpan)
Wow. I've never heard that before.

DEFALCO
(not getting it)
Yeah...I got a million. So Duke.
What is the trouble here? Comanche?

DUKE
That's funny. That's good. No. I
just had a legal issue come up and
I am not sure how to handle it.

DEFALCO
Well, that's why I'm here. Shoot.

DUKE
Timmy Reynolds. He's a 14 year old
dying of leukemia...



INT. HOSPITAL ROOM FLASHBACK

TIMMY
You know what? You can skip the
brochure. All the kids on death row
know about the List. It's ingrained
in our heads from the first time we
check in.

DUKE
You do? Know about us?

TIMMY
There's a poster in the treatment
room. Nothing like a shiny new
needle to etch an image permanently
on your brain.

Duke is very uncomfortable now.

DUKE
Ok. Well...since you know how we
work. Have you thought at all about
what you might want to wish for?

TIMMY
It's all I've been thinking about.

DUKE
So what can we do for you?

TIMMY
My wish...

DUKE
yes...

TIMMY
My wish is to lose my virginity.

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[Joe Calabrese]

NOTE TO VOTERS:
When judging, do not weigh FORMATTING heavily. Only one vote for your favorite script.

ENTRY #13
TITLE: CAGED
INSPIRED FROM ARTICLE 1: Crowds go ape over 'human' zoo exhibit.

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ENTRY #13
CAGED



FADE IN:



EXT. CITY-DAY

NOAH PRECKER, late 20's, casual and modestly confident,
struts down a crowded sidewalk with a large box tucked under
his arm, VALTREX CONDOMS supremely stamped on all sides.

Three NUNS stand on the corner and shove out leaflets.

The three nuns quickly clutch the leaflets to their chest as
Noah passes. Their prudent faces draw back in disgust.

Noah retracts his steps.

NOAH
What? I don't get a leaflet?
Everyone else got one.

Noah reaches for the middle nun's stack. She wrenches back
and gapes at the box as if it might jump out and bite her.

NOAH
Oh, I get it.

Noah slides the box out in front of him.

NOAH
I'll tell you what. If you share
I'll share. Deal?

The nuns GASP in horror and scurry away, practically tripping
over each other down the sidewalk.

NOAH
(shouting after them)
What happened to God loves
everyone?

Noah turns and steps on a LEAFLET. Delighted, he picks it up
and glances at the cover-YOUR DESTINY AWAITS!



INT. APARTMENT-DAY

Noah enters with the box of condoms.

LESTER SIMMS, 30, a jobless lunkhead, sits in front of the
television with a bag of popcorn in his lap, engrossed in a
Brady Bunch rerun.

T.V.
(JANE)
Marsha, marsha, marsha.

LESTER
Ohhh Marsha, come to daddy.

Noah plops the box on the sofa.

NOAH
You know, I once knew this guy who
was obsessed with hair dryers.
Strangest thing.

LESTER
Shhh. I'm watching.

Noah wonders into the adjoining kitchen and rummages in the
fridge.

NOAH
I guess he was lonely or something.
All that blowing must of made up
for it.

He opens a Styrofoam container and pokes a finger at the
growing mold.

LESTER (O.S.)
Ohhh yeah, groooovy.

Noah settles on a bottle of water and saunters into the
living room. He takes a gulp and peers over the bottle.

Lester is feeling the screen, his hand on Marsha's boob.

NOAH
You know, I heard blow dryers are
running pretty cheap these days.

A KNOCK at the door.

LESTER
If that's for me, I'm not here.

NOAH
What if it's a blow dryer salesman?
Maybe there's a buy one get one
free sale. Two blows for the price
of one.

LESTER
Bite me.

Noah opens the door.

CLARA, 30's, Noah's sister, barges in with a large tote bag.

SCOTTY, a vicious hyperactive four year old, charges in
behind her. He races straight for the sofa and jumps up and
down like a kangaroo on drugs.

NOAH
Come on in, don't let me stop you.

Clara drops the bag down on a chair.

CLARA
I need you to watch Scotty for me.

NOAH
What? I can't watch Scotty.

Clara taps her foot on the floor.

NOAH
Look at him. He's the freakin
antichrist of all nephews.

Scotty grabs the bag of popcorn from Lester and shakes it
violently. Popcorn flies every which way.

NOAH (CONT'D)
Last time he was here he gobbled up
my goldfish.

Clara ignores him and weasels by into the hall.

CLARA
Tomorrow he has a field trip at the
Zoo. His class meets at the main
gate at ten o'clock. Don't be late.

NOAH
Wait just a second. You can't-

Clara slams the door in his face.

NOAH
(shouting at the door)
Did you bring a blow dryer at
least.

Noah turns.

A long penis-shaped balloon protrudes from Scotty's mouth.



EXT. ZOO. MAIN GATE-DAY

Noah, Scotty, and Lester step off a bus onto the sidewalk.

A CLOCK above the entrance reads 10:45.

LESTER
They canned you and gave you a box
of rubbers?

NOAH
Guess they didn't like those
stylish holes too much.

A little GIRL passes with a gigantic balloon.

Scotty tugs on Noah's shirt.

SCOTTY
Balloon!

Noah scopes out the area. No class crowd.

SCOTTY
Balloon, balloon, balloon!

NOAH
No..no..and no. No more balloons
for you pal.

Scotty's bottom lip puffs out followed by long ear-piercing
WAIL.

Lester plugs his ears.

LESTER
Oh my god, shut it up!



SOUVENIR STAND-CONT.

Noah pays a vendor for a massive balloon.

NOAH
Alright Scotty. Here you go. One-

He spins around. Scotty isn't there.

NOAH
Scotty?

He searches around frantically.

Lester is by a glass cage, making faces with an orangutan.

Noah rushes over. The balloon bounces off a crowd of heads.

NOAH
What are you doing? I told you to
watch Scotty and your over here
making hoity-toity with a monkey.

The orangutan blows a raspberry at Noah.

NOAH
He's probably sank his teeth into a
walrus by now.

Noah drags Lester away.



ORANGUTTAN CAGE-DAY

Noah and Lester come full circle, Scotty still unaccounted
for. Lester slurps at an icecream cone, face a disaster.

NOAH
What the hell is that?

LESTER
An icecream cone.

NOAH
Look at you, you look like you
shoved your face in a cow's uterus.

Noah grabs a napkin out of Lester's hand and wipes his face.

NOAH
Better. Now where did that freakin
Eddie Munster run off to.

Noah and Lester circle on their heels until they both face
the orangutan cage.

POV: Scotty is inside the cage with the orangutans. A MOTHER
ORANGUTAN scoops Scotty up and carries him up a tree.

NOAH
Holy mother of God.



INT. RESTRICTED AREA. ZOO-DAY

Noah and Lester sneak in through an EMPLOYEES ONLY door. Noah
releases the balloon in front of a security camera and
motions for Lester to follow.

They tip toe down a narrow passage past doors with charts
hanging off hooks. Noah glances at the charts.

NOAH
Ate..les..geo...froyi...geofroyi.
Huh? I can't read this garble.

LESTER
That would be a...spider monkey.

NOAH
And how could you possibly know
that?

LESTER
Animal Planet.

Noah shakes his head and moves on.

LESTER
Did you know a female spider
monkey's clitoris is so huge it
looks like a penis?

NOAH
I feel so much better now that I
know that little piece of
information.

Noah picks up the next chart.

NOAH
Pongo pig...maeus.

LESTER
Orangutan.

NOAH
Alright. Let's make it quick. You
keep the other orangutans busy
while I grab beast boy. Got it?

Lester nods.



INT. ORANGUTAN CAGE-DAY

Noah and Lester peak around the door. The orangutans for the
time being are passive and calm. Scotty is up in the tree
with the mother orangutan. She jerks his head to the side and
combs through his hair with her fingers.

Lester and Noah tip toe in.

Noah waves up to Scotty. Scotty's face is wet with tears.

NOAH
Scotty, don't worry, I'm coming to
get you.

SCOTTY
She won't let go of my head.

Zoo goers stop and stare through the glass.

Lester taps his leg nervously. A huge MALE ORANGUTAN stands
up and watches with huge black eyes.

Noah tries to grab Scotty. The mother orangutan shoves him
away. He tries again. She slaps him in the face.

NOAH
Now that wasn't very nice. Give me
the boy or I'm going to have to use
some serious orangutan kung fu on
your ***.

The mother orangutan shakes it's head, completely addled. She
GRUNTS, turns her back and swings to another branch.

The onlookers double. Small faces press against the glass.

BOY ON OUTSIDE
Look it's Scotty.



INT. RESTRICTED AREA-CONT.

Noah jogs down the narrow passage with Lester behind him.
Scotty clings to his neck, red-faced and snaughty-nosed.

MALE VOICE O.S.
Hey...stop where you are!

NOAH
Oh ****. Run!

A SECURITY GUARD chases after them. They race around a corner
and bust through a door.



INT. BACK ROOM-CONT.

Noah, Lester, and Scotty lean against the door. FOOTSTEPS
charge by and fade down the hall.

SCOTTY
I'm hungry.

ARLAIN BLUME, 20's, intensly passionate and devoted, steps
out from another room.

ARLAIN
Can I help you?

Noah's mouth gapes open. Noah can't move. Noah can't speak.

LESTER
Oh my sweet Jesus, Marsha has a
twin.

ARLAIN
Are you here for the job?

Noah says nothing.

LESTER
(whispers to Noah)
Should I ask her for a hair dryer?

Scotty eyes a FISHBOWL on a shelf.

ARLAIN
Hello, anyone home?

NOAH
Yeah...the job.

Arlain lights up, overly enthusiastic.

ARLAIN
Oh good, I'm Arlain. I'm head of
the project. Don't move, I'll be
right back.

She disappears into the other room.

NOAH
(whispers to Lester)
This is perfect. Can you belive I
just stumbled in on this?

Noah pulls out the leaflet from his back pocket, unfolds it.

NOAH
Look at this. Some nuns gave it to
me on the street. Think about it.
Everything leads to here. Being
fired from the condom plant, my
sister, Scotty, the zoo, the
orangutans. I was destined to be
here. Arlain is my destiny.

LESTER
Forget it. The day that girls falls
in love with you is the day I make
lemonade.

Noah stares at him dumbfounded.

ARLAIN (O.S.)
Got the papers.

Arlain returns and hands Noah a pamphlet.

ARLAIN
I can't tell you how excited I am.
Not very many volunteers lining up
to live in a cage for six weeks.

Noah looks as if he just ate a mouthful of mothballs.

Something CRASHES! Everyone's head jerks around.

Scotty is a statue of guilt. An orange fishtail dangles from
his lips.



MAIN ENTRANCE-DAY

Noah holds up a scanty loin cloth as they exit the zoo.

LESTER
I guess they like to keep things
natural, huh?

MALE VOICE O.S.
Hey...you...stop right there!

The three of them turn to see HARLAN RAINES, 30, a country
club devotee with a case of bad hair and a pompous attitude.

He stops in front of Noah and slaps a packet at his chest.

HARLAN
You forgot these.

NOAH
Oh...wow...thanks.

Noah starts to turn. Harlan grabs his shoulder.

HARLAN
Not so fast Pecker boy.

Noah glares, stupefied.

HARLAN
Don't think I don't know about your
little escapade. I could have you
arrested and caged a lot longer
than six weeks.

NOAH
Really? That long huh?

HARLAN
I don't know what your game is. But
know this. I so much as catch you
sniffing in the wrong direction,
I'll let the lions tear your
insides out and snack on your bones
until there's nothing left. Got it?

NAOH
Jeesh, you don't have to be so
graphic.

LESTER
What about Arlain? Can he sniff
her?

Noah wallops him in the shoulder.

HARLAN
I'll be watching you.

He points a finger at Noah and struts away.

SCOTTY
Balloon.


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