Scene Headings

[E.G. Gammon]

I'm writing this fast-paced, crime-drama novel, where in each chapter there are as many as 30 different scenes. I considered chapter breaking at every scene break, until I realized I'm only half-way into the novel and I have over 200 "scenes." I was curious if adding scene headings throughout the chapter would make the novel read easier (eliminating the need to explain where "we" are every opening paragraph of every scene).

The best way to give you a picture of what I'm talking about is to mention crime-drama TV shows - like Crossing Jordan for instance, where most "scenes" begins with "so-and-so place; so-and-so time" over the corner of the screen. Here's an example:

Chapter 8


Department of Social Services - Night - Day 4

Scene - however many paragraphs

#

Blake Home - 20 Minutes Later

Next Scene - however many paragraphs

#

Schiller Times Office - Morning - Day 5

Next Scene - however many paragraphs


Etc...


I really want to take out my painful "first paragraphs" of each scene because after writing over 200 of them, I'm running out of SUBTLE ways to tell the reader where the hell the characters are. I mean how many times can the main character put a coffee cup or folder down on his "desk at work" before readers get bored?

[TheIT]

Sounds reasonable to me, as long as the first time a place is introduced it's given enough detail so later on you can use the shorthand scene heading to refer to it. You might need to be heavier on the detail the first time the action returns to a place, too, in order to remind the reader about the setting. Once the place becomes familiar to the reader then the scene heading should be enough to recapture the sense of place. Too much scene setting could get in the way of an action sequence.

The "Law & Order" franchise uses this technique with the addition of date and time to great effect (though I'd like to see you recapture their nifty sound effect in a book ;) ).

[katiemac]

It could work. Readers like me, however, tend to skip chapter headings, so I imagine I'd skip scene headings, too. I would suggest making sure that even if the scene headings are available, the context also conveys the same information?

Well, that might make things redundant.

[fallenangelwriter]

I've seen this done before. in the beginning of "Sandry's Book", Tamora Pierce uses scene headings for world-building and to alleviate confusion while she narrates four stories at once. after the first bit, though, the characters are united and the scene headings disappear.

[E.G. Gammon]

I DO take the time in the beginning to describe the main locations, but my main concern was losing readers when the story starts rolling. The book is fast-paced, shifting from location to location, from character to character, and if you stop the story to take the time to tell readers in detail, every location the main characters are in, when it's not necessary every time, I think you'll take away the whole "fast-paced" effect you are trying to portray. I just thought adding scene headings would say: You have to know where the characters are so they are "here"... either you know the place (so I don't have to describe it again) or you don't (and me not describing it tells you it isn't something you really NEED to know anyway)... let's move on with the story and get this mystery solved...

It's kind of like a film script I guess. I'm just giving the readers a heading line telling them where and when the following scene takes place (minus the EXT. and INT.), to get it out of the way, so they can get on with the story.

[katiemac]

I DO take the time in the beginning to describe the main locations, but my main concern was losing readers when the story starts rolling.

Right. Instead of asking, "is the information still available," I probably should have said, "is the story still coherent?" It's beneficial to readers to have the information there as a helpful addition to the complexity of your storyline. Just be aware the possibility of the style becoming a crutch. Otherwise, I see no potential problems.

[DamaNegra]

Mmmm, I don't know why your proposal reminded me of Dan Brown. I hate the way he writes, because he includes so many different simultaneous scenes and switches between them at the most interesting moment. This would sound cool, but he does it so often it become boring and completely uninteresting. You need to watch out for that.

[E.G. Gammon]

Mmmm, I don't know why your proposal reminded me of Dan Brown. I hate the way he writes, because he includes so many different simultaneous scenes and switches between them at the most interesting moment. This would sound cool, but he does it so often it become boring and completely uninteresting. You need to watch out for that.

I've never read Dan Brown but I wonder... is it the structure of the scenes or the scenes themselves that make his novels boring to you? In my novel, each scene is important to the plot - no fillers - and I try to make them all heart-pumping and thrilling (building tension), so, would just making them brief and shifting back and forth between them make the novel boring and completely uninteresting even if the scenes themselves weren't? I would think it would take a bit more than STRUCTURE to make a novel boring. But, that's just my assumption.

I've never read Dan Brown, so would you please elaborate? I appreciate any details you can provide that will help me make this structure work for my novel.

Right. Instead of asking, "is the information still available," I probably should have said, "is the story still coherent?" It's beneficial to readers to have the information there as a helpful addition to the complexity of your storyline. Just be aware the possibility of the style becoming a crutch. Otherwise, I see no potential problems.

I understand what you mean. I just assumed that adding the scene headings would HELP readers understand, not make it more difficult. See, at times, there are a few stories happening at the same time, that aren't connected to each other, so by switching from scene to scene, I felt if I gave readers a short statement as to where they are and what story is being picked up again, it will help them to get things straight.

I never planned to use the scene headings as substitutes for location description; I plan to use description - when necessary. I just felt by adding the headings, you not only take away the need to explain in a paragraph by itself, where the characters are (when readers just want to get on with the story), but you provide those readers a clearer way of keeping things straight in such a fast-paced, complex novel. I just think quick shifts from scene to scene can have flow issues (therefore losing the tension you want to build in a fast-paced novel) if you take the time, every time, to devote an entire paragraph to reminding readers exactly where the characters are during the scene.

[azbikergirl]

If scene heading are short, I'll read them. More than one line, I tend not to. I'm reading Elizabeth Bear's debut novel, Hammered, and finding that I'm skipping the scene headings and getting confused about the timeline because of it.

[kristie911]

My only question is: how often are these scene changes? I mean as a reader am I going to see them every 4 paragraphs? Or one every two or three pages?

If it's more than one every couple of pages, it might be too much...I think I would probably lose interest rather than keep reading. I think they would get tiresome if they occured too often.

But I ran into one every few pages, they probably wouldn't bother me much and it seems like a good way to keep track of everyone and everyplace. I've read novels that do this...though, of course, I can't think of one off-hand. However, just another side note: I think that in the case of the second one (Blake home 20 minutes later), that might be just a bit too quick. When you have just a few minutes maybe you could just do a quick segue into that scene. Maybe that would eliminate having too many. The other ones (Day 5 morning, etc) work for me.

Just my 2 cents as a reader...

[DamaNegra]

Dan Brown uses scenes like this (this excerpt is made up, following Dan Brown's style):

"He looked at the computer screen, amazed. He had never seen such a thing in his entire life. It was the most troubling piece of information he had ever encountered.
-No- he said. -It can't be-"

And then, there is a scene switch. I understand that the creation of suspense is important in keeping the attention of the reader, but in this case it is used excessively, to the point that the reader sighs and rolls his eyes, because this scene has repeated itself during the last eight paragraphs and three chapters, and is recurrent throughout the story.

Plus, changing the scene in the middle of the action or suspense makes the reader exhaust, and using it too much makes the reader bored and exhaust, using it too much is really a turn-off.

Hope that clears your doubts

[Mistook]

I'm writing this fast-paced, crime-drama novel, where in each chapter there are as many as 30 different scenes. I considered chapter breaking at every scene break, until I realized I'm only half-way into the novel and I have over 200 "scenes." I was curious if adding scene headings throughout the chapter would make the novel read easier (eliminating the need to explain where "we" are every opening paragraph of every scene).

The best way to give you a picture of what I'm talking about is to mention crime-drama TV shows - like Crossing Jordan for instance, where most "scenes" begins with "so-and-so place; so-and-so time" over the corner of the screen. Here's an example:

Chapter 8


Department of Social Services - Night - Day 4

Scene - however many paragraphs

#

Blake Home - 20 Minutes Later

Next Scene - however many paragraphs

#

Schiller Times Office - Morning - Day 5

Next Scene - however many paragraphs


Etc...


I really want to take out my painful "first paragraphs" of each scene because after writing over 200 of them, I'm running out of SUBTLE ways to tell the reader where the hell the characters are. I mean how many times can the main character put a coffee cup or folder down on his "desk at work" before readers get bored?


E.G.,

I thought this over, especially after looking at your sigline and seeing you've been on this novel for a long time. Obviously, you're writing a different kind of novel already with this scene structure, so maybe you're the one to write the rule on this question.

I would say, just come up with a heading that is easy to tune out, and be consistent with it from start to finish.

[E.G. Gammon]

E.G.,

I thought this over, especially after looking at your sigline and seeing you've been on this novel for a long time. Obviously, you're writing a different kind of novel already with this scene structure, so maybe you're the one to write the rule on this question.

I would say, just come up with a heading that is easy to tune out, and be consistent with it from start to finish.

The novel I am talking about is a completely different project from my novel series I mention in my signature. But, I was actually considering using the same format for my novel series - since it is WAY more complex (with over 80 main characters and tons of subplots).

There is no rule that says writers can't be different. So, I don't know. I'm going to see how the structure works and if it works well, it's a definite possibility that it will show up in my 5-novel series - which is unique itself, with or without the structure. I actually see the format working BETTER in my novel series, since I invisioned the series as something visual (daytime soap opera then primetime drama) before I started converting the story into novels.

Dan Brown uses scenes like this (this excerpt is made up, following Dan Brown's style):

"He looked at the computer screen, amazed. He had never seen such a thing in his entire life. It was the most troubling piece of information he had ever encountered.
-No- he said. -It can't be-"

And then, there is a scene switch. I understand that the creation of suspense is important in keeping the attention of the reader, but in this case it is used excessively, to the point that the reader sighs and rolls his eyes, because this scene has repeated itself during the last eight paragraphs and three chapters, and is recurrent throughout the story.

Plus, changing the scene in the middle of the action or suspense makes the reader exhaust, and using it too much makes the reader bored and exhaust, using it too much is really a turn-off.

Hope that clears your doubts

Ah, yes I understand what you are saying. My breaks aren't like that. I don't leave the reader hanging like that. I see the breaks more like the moment during a scene where you'd expect the characters to stop and take a breath. You know there's more to see, but you almost expect the characters to rest before they continue/finish.

If scene heading are short, I'll read them. More than one line, I tend not to. I'm reading Elizabeth Bear's debut novel, Hammered, and finding that I'm skipping the scene headings and getting confused about the timeline because of it.

I don't plan on making the scene headings any longer than one line. Very short and simple. Even something as simple as "E.G. Gammon's Office - Dusk" would work.

My only question is: how often are these scene changes? I mean as a reader am I going to see them every 4 paragraphs? Or one every two or three pages?

If it's more than one every couple of pages, it might be too much...I think I would probably lose interest rather than keep reading. I think they would get tiresome if they occured too often.

But I ran into one every few pages, they probably wouldn't bother me much and it seems like a good way to keep track of everyone and everyplace. I've read novels that do this...though, of course, I can't think of one off-hand. However, just another side note: I think that in the case of the second one (Blake home 20 minutes later), that might be just a bit too quick. When you have just a few minutes maybe you could just do a quick segue into that scene. Maybe that would eliminate having too many. The other ones (Day 5 morning, etc) work for me.

Just my 2 cents as a reader...

"Scenes" are RARELY shorter than a page (never as short as 4 paragraphs!). There are a few instances where the scene is pretty short, but like I said, it is RARE. One example of this is a party sequence, where I shift from different "groups" there, each shift being a 'scene.' Those can be choppy and short sometimes. But, most of the scenes in the book run beyond 2-3 pages.

[maestrowork]

I think as long as you are consistent, brief, and make the headings work efficiently to set up time/place, they'll work.

However, I think if you have over 30 headings in a chapter, it could get repetitive and annoying. I mean, do you really have to say "Blake Home - 20 minutes later"? Settings like these are usually very transparent in novels. Sometimes they're not even necessary (if it's just "MOMENTS LATER") in screenplays.

It also depends on your genre. This type of scene headings work very well in thrillers/suspense or mystery, but not really in romance or literary. You have to decide if such headings are suitable for your style and genre.

Sure, there's no rule to say a writer can't be different. But remember, there are also conventions and house styles that different publishers use. I am not saying you should compromise your artistic integrity, but you should also understand why such conventions exist -- they're tried and true best practices. For example, breaking up a "continuous" scene just to "let the characters stop and breathe" could be considered a writing faux pas. As an editor told me, "You as a writer might notice. But they as the readers won't, and they won't care. Leave that scene break out if it's really not a scene switch."

[Mistook]

I don't plan on making the scene headings any longer than one line. Very short and simple. Even something as simple as "E.G. Gammon's Office - Dusk" would work.



If I read that in a novel, I'd think it was cool.