I recently received a comment, and rightfully so, that I tend to give dialogue its own individual line too often. However, old habits die hard. Where I have the most trouble is deciding whether or not the events after a line of dialogue warrants a new paragraph, namely when a conversation ends.
For instance, this feels correct, as there are two sentences said verbally:
“We’ll talk about this later. Be sure to get something done today other than watering the carpet with your eyes.” Harriet slammed the door to their apartment harder than Taylor had shut the door to her room. The kid ran out into the hall from her room, removed the picture of her and her mother from the wall and slammed it down on the top knob of a kitchen chair. She closed her eyes because the glass rose close to her face, but that didn’t slow down her rage. It was too bad that her mother had taken her purse with her, at the moment it would be a nice item to loot.
This, on the other hand, doesn't, because there is only one sentence. Would I be wrong to insert a new line after the dialogue? Here:
“I look forward to seeing you.”
“Later then.” Taylor closed her phone. Everyone was calling her a kid. Didn’t they know she was eighteen now? She could smoke, enlist in the army, and Murphy would let her drink at his pub without asking for her ID. As far as the bank went, she would go and do as she said. It’s not like it would be her boldest action of the day. When her mom didn’t come to sign in a day or two, Carla would think of it as a good reason to call and chat with the woman. Polite Harriet wouldn’t want to cause a stir and would either sign the documents or come up with a make-believe reason for changing her mind. That’s how she was wired.
For instance, this feels correct, as there are two sentences said verbally:
“We’ll talk about this later. Be sure to get something done today other than watering the carpet with your eyes.” Harriet slammed the door to their apartment harder than Taylor had shut the door to her room. The kid ran out into the hall from her room, removed the picture of her and her mother from the wall and slammed it down on the top knob of a kitchen chair. She closed her eyes because the glass rose close to her face, but that didn’t slow down her rage. It was too bad that her mother had taken her purse with her, at the moment it would be a nice item to loot.
This, on the other hand, doesn't, because there is only one sentence. Would I be wrong to insert a new line after the dialogue? Here:
“I look forward to seeing you.”
“Later then.” Taylor closed her phone. Everyone was calling her a kid. Didn’t they know she was eighteen now? She could smoke, enlist in the army, and Murphy would let her drink at his pub without asking for her ID. As far as the bank went, she would go and do as she said. It’s not like it would be her boldest action of the day. When her mom didn’t come to sign in a day or two, Carla would think of it as a good reason to call and chat with the woman. Polite Harriet wouldn’t want to cause a stir and would either sign the documents or come up with a make-believe reason for changing her mind. That’s how she was wired.
