Home Stretch Blues?

[mkcbunny]

I am 310 pages into my first novel and feeling overwhelmed and confused. I feel good about getting this far, and I'm pleased with a fair amount of what I've done. But I also feel terribly burdened by the number of changes and things I see forthcoming. It's like I'm facing a steep uphill climb every day, and my confidence is at a low point.

It seems like the further I get, the harder it's getting. Is this common at this point in the process?

[Hang of Thursdays]

It's common for me at every stage in the process.:Smack:

[Garpy]

how far are you from the end?....over half way? three quarters? From my experience this should be the fun part....the plot and characters are rapidly racing towards the end of the tale, where hopefully some big ol' things will be resolved.

[mesh138]

I am 310 pages into my first novel and feeling overwhelmed and confused. I feel good about getting this far, and I'm pleased with a fair amount of what I've done. But I also feel terribly burdened by the number of changes and things I see forthcoming. It's like I'm facing a steep uphill climb every day, and my confidence is at a low point.

It seems like the further I get, the harder it's getting. Is this common at this point in the process?

I'm barely a few steps ahead of where you are. I finished my novel just around 300 pages, then re-wrote it, and now I'm doing another draft. Each day when I go to work, I read a different book. While reading "The Stranger," by Albert Camus, I felt like my novel had no weight. After reading "All Quiet on the Western Front," I felt my novel had no immediacy. I suppose all this doubt is normal, but it's kind of rough. I think you have to get the first draft done quickly, not worrying about how it feels at the time. There were chapters I had to force myself through (that I re-wriote probably five times in the re-write). It's hard work. No one knows that but writers. If you get published, they'll think you whipped the whole story magically out of a hat.

[Jamesaritchie]

I am 310 pages into my first novel and feeling overwhelmed and confused. I feel good about getting this far, and I'm pleased with a fair amount of what I've done. But I also feel terribly burdened by the number of changes and things I see forthcoming. It's like I'm facing a steep uphill climb every day, and my confidence is at a low point.

It seems like the further I get, the harder it's getting. Is this common at this point in the process?

It's very common, and perfectly normal. I suspect we all face this, in one way or another. For me, the process happens in reverse, but it still happens. It's the early part of the novel, the first third, that makes me feel like I'm climbing a steep hill, wondering every step of the way whether or not this thing is going to work.

Once I reach a certain point, however, it's all downhill and I can't write fast enough.

[victoriastrauss]

I am 310 pages into my first novel and feeling overwhelmed and confused. I feel good about getting this far, and I'm pleased with a fair amount of what I've done. But I also feel terribly burdened by the number of changes and things I see forthcoming.If the idea of all those changes burdens you so much that you aren't enjoying the rush to the finish (I'm like Garpy--for me, the last few chapters are the most enjoyable to write), perhaps you should go back and make those revisions now, instead of trying to push forward. Maybe then you'll have an easier time finishing. You might also find that your ideas for the ending change as a result of your revisions.

- Victoria

[Mike Martyn]

It's called the midbook blues. You are juggling all the balls,and trying to keep them aloft while wondering all the while where this 310 page train wreck is headed. You have start reconciling all the plot lines and start to bring the various characters back on stage for their big moment.

It's an overwhelmomg feeling but get through it just like you did for the first 310 pages, one word at a time!

I had the exact same emotions part way through my first book. That's the advice this group gave me. It helped so I'm passing it on.
Best of luck!

[mkcbunny]

Thank you all. I had a felling that what I was experiencing was normal, but it's very helpful to read that others have their own versions of this issue.

[mkcbunny]

how far are you from the end?....over half way? three quarters? From my experience this should be the fun part....the plot and characters are rapidly racing towards the end of the tale, where hopefully some big ol' things will be resolved.
I would say about 60 new pages, not counting the rewrites/cuts of the beginning that need to happen. [Have to rewrite or entirely cut the first chapter.] The end is written. I was inspired to write it a bit earlier and have been writing chunks/chapters out of order. That has been working fine so far. But now, rather than having to resolve the end, I have to go back an add chapters and scenes at various stages throughout. I already know where everyone's going; I have to get some of them there.

I guess the good news is that I am very pleased with the last third of the book. It's the middle that's making me a nut, trying to make sense of what I already have and make it work.

[mkcbunny]

While reading "The Stranger," by Albert Camus, I felt like my novel had no weight. After reading "All Quiet on the Western Front," I felt my novel had no immediacy. I suppose all this doubt is normal, but it's kind of rough.
This happens to me when I read the threads here at AW. I find new things I think I'm doing wrong. Right now, I have to be selective about which threads I read. I don't want to overthink every little thing I do at this stage.
I think you have to get the first draft done quickly, not worrying about how it feels at the time.
Exactly.
No one knows that but writers. If you get published, they'll think you whipped the whole story magically out of a hat.
Hah.

[banjo]

I am 310 pages into my first novel and feeling overwhelmed and confused. I feel good about getting this far, and I'm pleased with a fair amount of what I've done. But I also feel terribly burdened by the number of changes and things I see forthcoming. It's like I'm facing a steep uphill climb every day, and my confidence is at a low point.

It seems like the further I get, the harder it's getting. Is this common at this point in the process?

Like you, I am in the home stretch of my first, with a few more words already written. I too, see about sixty pages in my future. I don't feel overwhelmed exactly, but my ending is a little complicated and I have to tie everything together so it ends with the right punch. This part is a little slow for me because it is less "zone" and more intellect.

My advice would be to finish optimistically, and only concern yourself with the rewrite and revision when you get to that. Do like a recovering addict, take it one day at a time.

I must confess that there is a bit of hypocrisy in my advice. I have already paused a couple of times to write alternative openings. That has occurred when I was bogged down on the ending and another possible beginning popped into my consciousness. Oh well.:o

[henriette]

had to chime in, as i'm in the same boat, except i haven't even completed part one yet! eek!

for me, writing the set up was easy, fun, exciting. but now, i have to delve into my deep, dark side to write the "downfall", and i'm afraid! afraid of discovering dark corners of my mind; afraid that the second half of my book will be garbage compared to the first; afraid no one will care enough about the characters to read the entire thing...

coming from a performance background, i find it difficult to know if i'm on the right track. one can practice a dance routine in front of a mirror, or record a song and play it back, or set up a video camera and try out different things. writing a novel is so insular and almost lonely sometimes, i sometimes wonder if i'm wasting my time, because i can't "see" results as of yet.

anyway, i babble. thanks to all who have posted!

[brinkett]

afraid no one will care enough about the characters to read the entire thing...i find it difficult to know if i'm on the right track
You might want to find yourself a couple of beta readers. Some people only hand off to betas when the novel is complete, but I prefer to work with betas from the start--it lets me know early what's working and what isn't.

[henriette]

thank you, brinkett. i have asked a few people if they would be willing to beta, but my plan was to finish part one before i hand it over. maybe it would be a better idea to give them the first 3 chapters and see if they beg for more...

[Jamesaritchie]

You might want to find yourself a couple of beta readers. Some people only hand off to betas when the novel is complete, but I prefer to work with betas from the start--it lets me know early what's working and what isn't.

Or what your beta readers think is working and what they don't think is working. I'd far rather trust my own judgement on this, especiaaly in the first draft. I don't think good fiction is written by committee. Even when beta readers are used, I think it should always be after the novel is complete. preferably after the "final" draft is done.

[brinkett]

Or what your beta readers think is working and what they don't think is working. I'd far rather trust my own judgement on this, especiaaly in the first draft. I don't think good fiction is written by committee. Even when beta readers are used, I think it should always be after the novel is complete. preferably after the "final" draft is done.
You've made too many assumptions here. I don't write by committee. Betas offer comments--I decide what to do about them, if anything. It works well for me. YMMV.

[Nateskate]

There is a bright side. It's a chance for growth. At various times I've been overwhelmed with the whole process, but whatever the issue is, mastering it makes us stronger. Some chapters seem to flow, others seem like trudging in mud. Then the re-writes! Well, maybe you won't have as much trouble.

I'm doing epic fantasy. Every time you make a change in an earlier book (if you've written out multiple, there is a ripple effect that forces you to go through and make changes through the rest of the story.- been there, still doing that.

Sure; it's why people convert to poetry. At least in poetry if you screw up one poem it doesn't ripple through the rest of the poems. And you feel like you finished something at the end of the day, instead of shooting for the end of the decade.

[Eldo]

But I also feel terribly burdened by the number of changes and things I see forthcoming.These things have served to slow me down from actually finishing. If I let them become enough of a burden to the point where it clouds my ability to keep writing new pages, then I stop, go back, and re-write/insert what was bugging me.

Is it the right thing to do? The most effective? I don't know (I've only completed two 300-pg manuscripts myself and I am a SLOW writer -- think 18 mos to finish each), but until I went and fixed them (before finishing the first draft), I usually seemed to over-estimate how difficult it would really be to fix that kind of stuff. Yes, it is probably better to keep plugging along and worry about that sort of thing in the re-write, but if it is weighing on you to the point where you cannot remain creative, then that's the point in which I've stopped to fix it.

[Jamesaritchie]

You've made too many assumptions here. I don't write by committee. Betas offer comments--I decide what to do about them, if anything. It works well for me. YMMV.

I know, I hear that all the time. "I decide what to do." Yes, after your betas readers tell you what they think you're doing right and wrong.

[brinkett]

I know, I hear that all the time. "I decide what to do." Yes, after your betas readers tell you what they think you're doing right and wrong.
Wow, you've seen their comments and my revisions! That's amazing! I'll have to protect my computer a little better.

[pepperlandgirl]

I don't have the problem at the end. I have that problem around 20,000 words--the initial rush of the story and thrill of writing it is gone and all I have to look forward to is 55K-80K words of drudgery. Are my characters worth another 55-80K words? Can I pull it off? Is there a good conflict? What am I writing this for anyway? Wouldn't it be easier to watch the X-Files marathon on Sci-Fi?

Every single word is a fight until about the 35K word mark, with me doing my best impression of that famous train engine--I think I can, I think I can, I...think...I can...I.....think....I.......Can....Then I reach the top of that hill and it's smooth sailing.

[Celia Cyanide]

I know, I hear that all the time. "I decide what to do." Yes, after your betas readers tell you what they think you're doing right and wrong.

Sometimes, other people reading your work makes you see things you didn't notice before. I don't think anyone would make a change to their work they didn't really believe in. That's not the idea.

[victoriastrauss]

Yes, it is probably better to keep plugging along and worry about that sort of thing in the re-writeNo, it's not. Neither method is intrinsically "better" than the other. What's better is what works for you.

Plenty of writers don't push straight through, but change and edit as they go. There is nothing wrong with working this way.

- Victoria

[Eldo]

There is nothing wrong with working this way.Well, then all that guilt was wasted! http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/images/smilies/smile.gif

[mkcbunny]

There is a bright side. It's a chance for growth. At various times I've been overwhelmed with the whole process, but whatever the issue is, mastering it makes us stronger.
I think that's part of the reason that I chose a more complex tale to tell. I had three novels started, and I picked this one to complete first. Of the other two, one had a "gimmick" and could be pitched in a sentence—easy marketing job. But it seemed simplistic in some ways, and perhaps a bit of a paint-by-numbers job, so I put it off in favor of the more difficult task. This was the one that I felt most interested in doing, so here I am reaping the joys and pains of my decision.

Thanks everyone.

[Euan H.]

To reply to the first post:

I feel exactly the same way when I'm about 75% done with a book. I can't concentrate on the ending, because all the time I'm thinking of all the changes I have to make earlier on. What I've found myself doing is that I push on to the end--but just sketch out the last 25% of the book. Then I wait for a month or so, then get stuck into the second draft. I only end up writing the ending afetr I've revised the first three-quarters or so of the book. I can't see the point in writing an ending if you *know* it's got to change because of revisions you're going to make earlier on.

Anyway, m 2c.

[mkcbunny]

... I have to tie everything together so it ends with the right punch. This part is a little slow for me because it is less "zone" and more intellect.
I think that may be why it's such a strggle right now. Most of what I have down was zone writing. Now, as I'm filling in between areas, there's all this intellectual problem-solving required that doesn't seem to produce good results. I am sure that once I get something down in these areas, I'll be able to correct it later, but getting through it is quite a challenge.

My advice would be to finish optimistically, and only concern yourself with the rewrite and revision when you get to that. Do like a recovering addict, take it one day at a time.
I really need to try harder to adopt the one day at a time approach. I get bogged down in what happened yesterday.

[Sage]

I think you have to get the first draft done quickly, not worrying about how it feels at the time. There were chapters I had to force myself through (that I re-wriote probably five times in the re-write).

This is good advice... that I need to listen to :Hail: