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theneffzoo
12-27-2010, 04:17 PM
Which is better/correct?

Because of the July heat, they decided to dine indoors until the sun set and so the maître d showed them to a quiet table for two near the window.

Because of the July heat, they decided to dine indoors until the sun set, so the maître d showed them to a quiet table for two near the window.

Captcha
12-27-2010, 04:37 PM
I certainly prefer the second in the example given - the first one goes too long without a comma, for my reading pleasure.

In general, you want to get rid of unnecessary words, and 'and' is certainly unnecessary in your example. But I'm not sure if it's ALWAYS unnecessary, or if there are times when it might be needed.

Susan Littlefield
12-27-2010, 06:54 PM
The second over the first, but I really prefer neither. I would be inclined to cut the "so" in the second sentence and break it into two complete sentences.

Because of the July heat, they decided to dine indoors until the sun set. The maître d showed them to a quiet table for two near the window.

PeterL
12-27-2010, 07:34 PM
The second is correct. As I read the first, I changed to the second. There's nothing inherently wrong with "and so", but situations where it would fit are very rre. You would need to use a comma before where it does fit.

Jamesaritchie
12-27-2010, 07:59 PM
The second.

thothguard51
12-27-2010, 08:34 PM
Theneffzoo,

Susan's example is a better choice in my humble opinion because you have two separate actions, even if one is related to the other...

1...the first part is telling us THEY made a decision to dine indoors because of the heat.

2...the second part, even though related, is a separate action in which they are shown to a quiet table.

Both of your examples feel like telling to me instead of showing me the action. This is another reason I liked Susan's example as it is more direct.

Now, without knowing anything else about what has been shown before, your examples also created a few questions for me, that you might want to consider...

1...July heat, Is July really needed? Yes it establishes a time of year reference, but is July heat any worse than June or August heat? July seems to be used in this case more as a time marker than a heat marker.

2...maître d showed them, I know what you mean, but showing them is not the same as leading them. He could have pointed to the table as a means of showing them. I would use, led in place of showed...

3...quiet table, Again, I know what you mean, but all tables are quiet...they can't talk. Perhaps secluded table would be a better choice, which hints at a quiet corner or something.

Hope this helps, but if you disagree then by all means, please ignore...

rainsmom
12-27-2010, 08:47 PM
Second, but I too would split it into two sentences. With the "so," it sounds like the final consequence in this chain of events is being shown to a table. The only reason I would present it that way would be if I were explaining how we happened to be going to a table at that particular time. Otherwise, being led to a table just isn't worthy of the importance this arrangement gave it.

Jamesaritchie
12-27-2010, 10:05 PM
One sentence. Two is not only unnecessary, it's choppy, and choppy kills. One of the biggest mistakes I see in slush pile writing is two sentences where one works better. A big part of an editor's times is spent combining sentences, and it shouldn't be necessary nearly as often as it is.

jmarkbyrnes
12-27-2010, 10:13 PM
I don't think splitting it into two separate sentences is the way to go; instead use a semicolon since the two separate thoughts are tied together. This would be my preferred way of writing that sentence.

"Because of the July heat, they decided to dine indoors until the sun set; the maître d showed them to a quiet table for two near the window."

But not everyone likes semicolons.

-papaholmz

maestrowork
12-28-2010, 12:10 AM
There are plenty of ways to rewrite this but let's not do that. It's about grammar so let's stay with the grammar of "so."

"So" is a conjunction already, so it doesn't need "and," which is redundant.

jaksen
12-30-2010, 01:39 AM
I don't think splitting it into two separate sentences is the way to go; instead use a semicolon since the two separate thoughts are tied together. This would be my preferred way of writing that sentence.

"Because of the July heat, they decided to dine indoors until the sun set; the maître d showed them to a quiet table for two near the window."

But not everyone likes semicolons.

-papaholmz

I do not fear the semicolon. I like your suggestion best.

bonitakale
12-30-2010, 03:03 AM
The second. But leave out "until the sun set."

Fallen
01-03-2011, 02:48 AM
The second over the first, but I really prefer neither. I would be inclined to cut the "so" in the second sentence and break it into two complete sentences.

Because of the July heat, they decided to dine indoors until the sun set. The maître d showed them to a quiet table for two near the window.

I'm with Sue.