Writing through the stresses of life

[cypher_lee]

Hi everyone.

I was curious to find out how your writing is affected by the stresses and trials of life. Do you find it easier or harder to write when suffering through a bereavement or the breakup of a relationship?

Does the writing take on a particular tone or edge depending on the severity of the personal problems occuring?

I ask because at the moment i am trying to pull myself out of a particularly depressive stage due to family illness and a painful break up, and i find that, maddeningly, this period seems to be the most fertile for coming across ideas and themes for my WIP, and yet, when i do sit down to write, i find it very difficult because my mind is so overwhelmed with all the crap of life going on.

Does anyone have any ideas or advice on how to tackle these obstacles in regards to my writing? I guess the easy answer is to just sit down and write, but at the moment, i find myself breaking down at random moments and cannot control my emotions at all.

[E.G. Gammon]

After my father was diagnosed with Cancer (and ultimately died 8 and a half months later), my sexy-soapy twisty novel series (still in development) became a VERY dark one, dealing with death, its meaning and its ultimate effects on the people left behind and the world as a whole. The story had death in it to begin with, but once I sunk into that depression, those deaths BECAME the plot, instead of the deaths being a "twist" in the plot. The plot took a dark turn, and I just went with it.

Writing the story so dark back then - in a weird way - was comforting, because I could step back and look at my characters and say "Wow, my life seems pretty tough now, but it's nothing compared to what my characters are going through."

I think a writers' life and mood at the time, greatly affects the tone of their work. And while my writing at the time didn't become any more (or any less) easier, the depressing time was very - inspirational I guess you could say.

Even though this dark period in your life seems like a great inspirational time for your writing, don't force yourself. If you're going through a hard time, you'll have bad days, and writing might be the last thing on your mind. But, I think the days where you want to and can write, will have great pay-offs in ideas and themes - maybe not ones you expected - but ones you should just roll with.

[cypher_lee]

Thank you.

I don't know what else to say, but... thankyou. :)

[Diana Hignutt]

I'm trying to crawl out of a period in my life where events have reared their heads in an sinister attempt to keep me from writing (well, it seems like that). I've gone through these before, but this one is the worst I've yet encountered.

The trick, I think, is to keep trying to write, whenever or wherever possible. Sooner or later the smoke will clear, or you will clear it by your continued efforts. That's what I keep telling myself...

When things get crazy my discipline goes out the window...

Don't be like me...

diana

[KTC]

I funnell a lot of the stresses into my writing and force myself to go on whenever I feel like doing anything but. And I thank myself later...because my writing is my haven. It helps me get through these periods, even when I don't want to use it to do so.

[Nateskate]

I try to have a big picture of life, where I'm only living through one chapter or season at a time, yet, I never lose sight of my ultimate vision.

I'm a fan of Solomon, who said, "There is more joy in the house of mourning than in the house of mirth." and "There is a time and a season for every purpose under heaven...a time to mourn...a time for planting..."

The second tells me that life isn't all one winter, or all one summer, though some seasons seem prolonged. I need to remember in the coldest darkest season that life will break through the ground when spring comes. Good will come from evil in time. And the first one tells me not to fear times of sadness, that there is something to be gained from the dark periods I once feared to face, I just have be patient until I come out of them.

I'm an empathetic person by nature. So, when I look at what is happening in Louisiana, I want to help everyone. Co-ordinate this or that. Move the powers that be. But as far as writing, I have to believe I have a purpose in writing. My story (in my mind) is more than just a diversion. I can't let my purpose become derailed.

Look at it this way, there are "Life-storms", and they come to everyone at some point. However, some ride out storms of greater magnitude. Regardless, our only safety is to have a strong foundation, one that is on high ground (I'm speaking metaphorically) We have to believe we were put here on the earth for a reason, whether that is to visit one lonely person in a nursing home, or to influence a generation. And the storms will come, but your purpose needs to go on. I see my writing as fitting in the greater purpose. Again, storms come, but if my purpose is sound, I weather them, and stand firm, and press forward.

[Maryn]

The first writing teacher I had as an adult wrote two novels in a single year--the year her adult son, married with a baby on the way, was diagnosed with an inoperable brain tumor.

She told us quite frankly that while the first novel was due under contract--and contracts don't care who's dying, you either deliver or return the advance you already spent--she valued the respite from reality so much that she dived into the next one with equal enthusiasm. For the hours she spent writing every day, she wasn't in the same world where her son was suffering but in the world of her novel, where she had control and could even decide to bring characters back to life if she wanted.

Her son died, I'm sorry to say, and she's not written more than one novel a year since then.

Maryn

[LightShadow]

My writing, to me, is a separate world. When writing, my other world vanishes. My real life and my writing do, however, affect each other when I'm writing poetry. I tend to write poetry during my most emotional times, and sometimes that is what helps me get through whatever it is I am trying to get through.

[Tertius]

I began writing at about age six. So far, no pub credits, though. Working on that. To answer what I think the question is: I am not sure it is possible for me to write without some degree of pain. That said, I can write mechanically, as for a research paper, or advertisement, but that is not what I consider "writing" as far as my purposes are concerned. Much of my inspiration comes from the old "dysfunctional family" It also comes from a life plagued by hard knocks and wrought by anguish. But, hey, everybody has their monsters and struggles, so I don't really want to whine about it. I hope to convey that there is hope, in spite of the hardness of life. However, I also draw inspiration from the beauty and wonderment, such as having two very wonderful and gifted children.

[Niesta]

My experience with this varies a bit. I went through a very difficult time a few years ago, where writing literally kept me sane. The only way i could make sense of things was to put it all on paper.

But nothing I produced then was remotely commercial. It was all journaling. I don't intend it to be read by others.

Now, though, that the traumatic stuff is more or less "over" (some things are never really over, they just hurt slightly less), I am really glad I kept all those records. I am able to transform painful experience into something else entirely.

So this is all a convoluted way of saying -- keep writing. This experience will make your work deeper in the end. But don't necessarily expect that what you're writing now, while in pain, is going to be your final (or best) word on the subject.

[JackieG]

Everyone here has sage advice, and I find myself in a place now where I need to hear it, too.

It seems to me that the moment (some years ago) that I decided to take my novel writing seriously and to embark on the journey toward being professional, there has been one emotional challenge after another, and, like Diana said, I swear life has turned against my every attempt to carve out writing time for myself on a regular basis.

I like the idea of using my writing time as a break from reality. I think I've always fought against that concept, and subconsciously believe that my life has to be organized and responsible first, before I allow myself the indulgence of writing.

When life is overwhelming, I don't force myself to write, but I take it to a fault. In fact, I don't write at all. For days at a time. Weeks, maybe. I'm in the process of figuring out why.

I'm glad for this thread! It's helped me see a place in my life that still needs balance.