Erotica Halloween Contest--Offer 3 Suggestions

[Synonym]

We need ideas for three items that must be included in each Erotic Halloween Contest submission for this year. Maryn suggested that it be incongruous with erotica in order to make this a little more challenging. I like that idea. :D

How about three categories, pick one from each and post or PM your choices to me? (If you don't like my categories, suggest one of your own, by golly.)

Person. It could be someone specific---a famous or infamous figure, or, generic---Maryn's crying baby for instance.

Place. Same rules, specific but recognizable for everyone or generic. Say...the George Washington Monument or a farmer's market?

Thing. Be practical, whimsical or outrageous. Think of something common, famous or pick the least sexy item you can. Use your imagination.

Have your choices posted or sent to me by Thursday at 5 PM Central Time, at the latest. I'm off that day, so I'll have time to get the items listed into three polls for voting. By next Sunday we'll close the voting and have this decided so you can get creative. Or you can plow right ahead with an idea and figure out how to add the three choices later.

Man or woman up people...I need some ideas!

[Synonym]

I pick...

person---Michael Jackson

place---middle of a deserted gravel road

thing---can of Green Giant green beans

No. I haven't been drinking. :D

[Maryn]

[I love your choices.]

Person: 10-year-old overweight girl who's a bully (Yeah, have fun working that one in!)

Place: Farmer's field next to a busy road, its pumpkins ready for harvest

Thing: A box of colored chalk

Maryn, who likes a challenge, just not this big a one

[Boston Steve]

Person: Big, black ex-Marine

Place: Loading dock at the airport

Thing: A tire iron

[kuwisdelu]

Person: an attractive, convicted rapist with a lot of charm

Place: a McDonald's play place

Thing: a red 1961 Gibson EB-0, with a broken D-string.

[Maxinquaye]

I pick

PERSON: - Tony Blair
PLACE: - Machu Picchu
THING: - An alien-crewed non-terran-spacecraft

[Ruth2]

Ahhh... I pick:

Person: A scared but well hung nerdy virgin
Place: In a girls' school in the north of England
Thing: A trunk full of crotchless panties

[Synonym]

Hmmm. Let's see. What could you do with these choices?

Stranded with a flat tire on an empty gravel road. Your only entertainment is your niece, a foul little girl who's overweight and mean as sin. While she whines that her Halloween haul wasn't up to it's usual standards this year, Michael Jackson's Thriller plays on the radio. One foot taps to the beat, or impatience, as you wait on AAA to find you and change the damned tire. What a time to have shoulder surgery and be incapacitated. At least you know how to change a tire, none of your girl-friends do.

Headlights pop over the hill, illuminating what had been puzzling vague lumps in a nearby field. Pumpkins? How appropriate. Your heartbeat picks up as you realize those headlights are too low to be a tow truck. Crap. Your eye travels towards your niece, an added responsibility, as the recent lurid headlines of crime in this area and how damned vulnerable you really are, run through your thoughts.

The niece rummages through her sacks of candy and indignantly waves a box in your face. "Sidewalk chalk? This sucks...", you ignore her rants and watch the car in the mirror stop behind yours. A figure breaks into the glare of the parked car's headlights and you sink even further into your seat. Christ help me. That's one huge man. Every horror story of a woman stranded on Halloween clamors in your brain at once, paralyzing coherent thought.

A flashlight blinds you momentarily and the single-minded chatter from your niece finally trails to a halt. A tap at the window jump-starts your brain as you notice pertinent details. A badge. A uniform. A Sheriff's deputy. Thank God.

Yep. I could do something with this. Of course the rummage in the trunk for the tire iron disturbs an escaped can of green beans from the last trip to the grocery store. Big black guy? Perhaps the cop, maybe the tow truck driver. He's familiar, driving a tow-truck is his second job. He works at the airport full-time. The female MC is a UPS driver and recognizes him from picking up shipments.

Hah. I love this. :D

ETA: That was the first three choices, obviously. Aliens? Trunk full of crotchless panties? A freakin' guitar? Yeah, three choices are more than enough. Nine is pretty tough. LOL

[Boston Steve]

I don't believe I specified the big, black ex-Marine was necessarily male. :D

[Synonym]

No you didn't. I did. Sue me for stereotyping. :e2tongue:

Besides, gotta get a guy in there somewhere for the smexy part, don't I?

Um. Well, I guess it doesn't have to be a guy either. Sheez. Forget I said anything. :D

[Maxinquaye]

No you didn't. I did. Sue me for stereotyping. :e2tongue:

Besides, gotta get a guy in there somewhere for the smexy part, don't I?

Um. Well, I guess it doesn't have to be a guy either. Sheez. Forget I said anything. :D

What about Tony there? :D

[thothguard51]

His book is on the seat next to her...

[Synonym]

You guys...:D

[ELMontague]

Person: The kindly Archbishop of Kigali (that's in Ruwanda) Think Desmond Tutu. And no, I have no idea if the Archbishop of Kigali is kindly or anything like Desmond Tutu, but work with it.

Place: A subway station in any large city in the US.

Thing: A Dunkin Donut

[Satori1977]

Person: An old, deaf man that walks with a cane

Place: A graveyard

Thing: chopsticks

[Maryn]

It may be TMI, but I have played with chopsticks in real life. We got to laughing about how many movies show couples eating Chinese in bed and got ourselves some that night just to be silly and reinforce the stereotype.

We're both pretty good with chopsticks, able to grasp, tug, or twist at will. Just try making love with forks, eh?

Maryn, who now longs for Hunan Chicken*

*Ha-ha, I typoed 'human chicken'

[Boston Steve]

FYI, a pair of chopsticks and a couple of rubber bands make a pretty good impromptu nipple clamp.

[Satori1977]

Hmmm, never actually used chopsticks like that. In fact, I am not good at using chopsticks for eating either. Just hungry for chinese food, and it came to mind.

[Synonym]

Any more ideas besides what's for dinner and new uses for chopsticks?

[sailor]

person: The Great Pumpkin
place: houseboat
thing: upright vacuum cleaner

[Synonym]

Oh God. An upright vacuum? I have a feeling that may make the final cut too. That's a challenge. LOL

[ViraKamarati]

Person: Charles Darwin.
Place: Stonehenge
Thing: A kite.

[Synonym]

Thanks for all your contributions so far. If you're still thinking, don't wait too long. 5 PM Central Time tomorrow is the deadline. :D

[kuwisdelu]

person: The Great Pumpkin

Will you wait for him with me this year?

I found a really sincere pumpkin patch!

[sailor]

Butchart Gardens is just up island from me, huge pumpkin patches along the way. Guess that I'll have to schlep along a generator for the upright.

[Synonym]

There goes a nice quiet night. :)

[barbilarry]

The ghost of Charlie Brown
Abandoned country church graveyard
A screech owl
:)

[soapdish]

OK, my three are:

Person: Adam. (or whatever version of the first 'man' you want from any religion/mythology. Even a made up one.)

Place: padded cell

Thing: Dixie cup

Even if I don't participate, I am going to read and vote. :D