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LROT
09-11-2010, 04:32 AM
So I'm thinking of completely overhauling the intro in WIP. I read over it the other day and it feels to melo-dramatic.

Im thinking- because I have begun to take my story in a more Greek mythology style route- to begin with two gods making a wager. One god Ogran(god of war) makes a bet with his sister, Amalurra (earth mother) that he can corrupt her chosen people (Celestians, they worship the night sky) and turn them into war mongers. This would tie into the fact that the king of Celestia (so far unnamed) is on a quest to conquer the world and he is unwittingly cursed by a demon. It also would hopefully give my reader more of a "buy in" to the appearance of the god's throughout the book.

My concern is that directly involving the gods in a bet like this might seem like Im copying Greek mythology/legends etc. and that it might be to cliche.

What do you all think?

geardrops
09-11-2010, 04:49 AM
I actually immediately thought of the Book of Job. (Note, I'm an atheist.)

While not a bad concept, the problem with this is that you're introducing characters in chapter one which are not the main characters. Doable, but tricky. Better done in a prologue, I think.

Though I wonder what would happen if you put it somewhere later in the book, a revelation, to make your MC feel like a pawn in someone else's game?

Anyway, you're writing fantasy. I don't think gods or other mythical creatures showing up is going to throw anyone, especially if you make it pretty clear from the start that this is a fantasy world where gods and other mythical creatures can and will show up :)

LROT
09-11-2010, 05:00 AM
I actually immediately thought of the Book of Job. (Note, I'm an atheist.)

While not a bad concept, the problem with this is that you're introducing characters in chapter one which are not the main characters. Doable, but tricky. Better done in a prologue, I think.

Though I wonder what would happen if you put it somewhere later in the book, a revelation, to make your MC feel like a pawn in someone else's game?

Anyway, you're writing fantasy. I don't think gods or other mythical creatures showing up is going to throw anyone, especially if you make it pretty clear from the start that this is a fantasy world where gods and other mythical creatures can and will show up :)

yeah I was actually considering that route as well. In one scene the MC, goes into a state of delirium from using too much of his "magical" power during a battle, that he begins to have visions of this wager.

Sevvy
09-11-2010, 05:09 AM
yeah I was actually considering that route as well. In one scene the MC, goes into a state of delirium from using too much of his "magical" power during a battle, that he begins to have visions of this wager.

I think it would be better as the first chapter or a prologue than like this. If you write the wager as a scene, and make sure it has as much tension and drama as the rest of the novel, it'll be fine in the front.

defcon6000
09-11-2010, 05:24 AM
Though I wonder what would happen if you put it somewhere later in the book, a revelation, to make your MC feel like a pawn in someone else's game?

You know that is a pretty good point, makes you question the whole idea of free will, assuming of course that free will is a theme in the story (I would hope so though).

LROT
09-11-2010, 05:41 AM
You know that is a pretty good point, makes you question the whole idea of free will, assuming of course that free will is a theme in the story (I would hope so though).

actually the idea of free will is one of the biggest themes in my WIP, my 3 main characters struggle with free will and good vs evil constantly.

Mr Flibble
09-11-2010, 02:55 PM
While not a bad concept, the problem with this is that you're introducing characters in chapter one which are not the main characters. Doable, but tricky. Better done in a prologue, I think.

I concur, I've got something similar in my first. I would say though, that if you do it, make there some kind of intrigue/mystery to it. Don't lay everything out, or make it too obvious what is about to happen in the book. Cos if you do that, we don't need to read the book to find out what happens. :D

Oh noes, we said the P word!

third person
09-11-2010, 09:09 PM
The first chapter is the LAST one you ever write in your WIP before it's completely polished and ready to be sent to an agent (after it gets requested, of course). That said, I advise you don't fret over it just yet and continue to work on your WIP.

Hallen
09-12-2010, 02:14 AM
The first chapter is the LAST one you ever write in your WIP before it's completely polished and ready to be sent to an agent (after it gets requested, of course). That said, I advise you don't fret over it just yet and continue to work on your WIP.

I agree. Sure, you can write a first chapter, but don't worry about it too much. If you do, you'll never move on to finish the rest. I've done that to myself, gone back and edited, rewritten, edited, deleted, rewrote, edited, and so on, never getting on with the rest of the story. Write something for a first chapter that gets you going, and then finish the book. After that, concentrate on getting that first chapter right.