Using Emotion in Writing

[kaku]

I recently attended a writer’s conference workshop. Some of the feedback I received suggested I use more examples of characters displaying emotion in my writing in place of direct thoughts. I was hoping someone might be able to direct me to some examples of how to employ this technique.



The obvious choices of shouting, screaming, slamming a cup down on the table and crying can only take you so far. They soon begin to sound like clichés if used too frequently. Subtler shades of emotion would be useful. If you know of writers who are particularly adept at this or techniques to help you develop this skill, please share them with me.



Thank you



D. Simmons

[Torin]

Try observing people around you and see if you can determine emotional states by their behaviour. Subtle things like foot tapping, finger drumming, chewing on a bottom lip, raising eyebrows--all these indicate some kind of internal working. Narrowing one's eyes in annoyance, pursing lips when thinking or considering an idea, sighing, chuckling, a wry look are also ways to indicate emotional states.

Good luck.

[NeuroFizz]

As far as books on writing technique go, Creating Character Emotions by Ann Hood is a good one. I found it useful.

[brokenfingers]

Here's a site that might be helpful - or not:

A Non-verbal Dictionary of Gestures, Signs and Body Language Cues
http://members.aol.com/nonverbal2/diction1.htm

[Hang of Thursdays]

In addition to what Torin said, really observing the performances of actors in moves can help a lot in this aspect. Perhaps even taking an acting/theatre class, or pairing up with an actor buddy and having him show you the ropes. A lot of actors (William Hurt springs to mind) spend a great deal of time really *thinking * about their character -- where he came from, what he did before he was here. Lots of little decisions about the way they walk and talk.

Frequently just having the character interact with an object of some importance to that character/story can go a long way towards showing how the character feels about it, without having to resort to cliches or saying "bob was upset." Is it a little bowl that he made by hand when he was a child? Does he pick it up, look at it? Or does he move it out of his sight?

[JANE007]

I rarely say the actual emotion that the character is feeling (ie - he was depressed) and instead try to visualize it through description:

"She slumped down on the sofa and stared blankly straight ahead of her"

"He winked and gave her a confident little smirk then turned around and walked away, grinning ear to ear"

"She felt as if someone had ripped her heart out and kicked her in the head a hundred times"

"For some reason she knew that while embraced in his arms, it would be okay, everything was okay. She felt like she was safe."

I don't know if these examples even help you at all, but hopefully they do a little...

[scribbler1382]

While both of these suggestions (observe people/watch movies) are fine suggestions, might I also suggest you read your head off? Remember that the second half of the Write, write, write equation is Read, read, read. And really, every writer should be in permanent eavesdrop mode anyways, so that shouldn't even need to be suggested, IMO. Also, when you read, don't do as a lot of people seem to be doing and vie for the most books read the fastest, or most books read at once. Pay attention as you read to what the author is doing. The greatest learning tool writers have is usually sitting a few inches away from them on their stuffed bookshelves.

And back on the topic at hand, remember that human beings are complex, emotional, irrational creatures. Rarely are we so two-dimensional to laugh when we're happy or cry when we're sad. More likely we yell at our spouse because our boss called us a jerk; we laugh when we are overwrought with pain; or we simply visit a place that is connected with the loved one who just died.

If you've done your job as a writer properly, these seemingly illogical acts will have great impact on both your characters and your readers.

[alaskamatt17]

If you like fantasy and sci-fi, George R. R. Martin and Orson Scott Card are some of the best authors I've found at showing character emotion. Robert J. Sawyer, too.

[kaku]

Here's a site that might be helpful - or not:

A Non-verbal Dictionary of Gestures, Signs and Body Language Cues
http://members.aol.com/nonverbal2/diction1.htm

From a writers perspective, the listing contained in this dictionary is priceless. Thank you, Brokenfingers.

Thanks also to everyone else who provided suggestions. I sincerely appreciate your spirit of helpfulness. <smiles and tips virtual hat to the crowd>

[maestrowork]

Many people don't express their emotions in such broad terms (shouting, screaming, sobbing, etc.) Observe others -- observation is a writer's best tool.

For example, many people become quiet, withdrawn, and jittery when they're upset/angry. I'd even go on to say that NOT many people clench their fists, pound their chests and scream at the top of their lungs.

[TheIT]

Also, how many people are sensitive to changes in mood? I tend to joke a lot, so when I'm upset some people perceive my comments as jokes rather than serious statements which ends up making me more upset, etc. Sometimes the characters will not want to display their feelings, so they'll come across in contradictory ways, or they don't know what all they're feeling.

I was reading a book about applying method acting techniques to writing (can't remember the title off-hand) which had an analogy I found very intriguing. The author was quoting from the man who created the method acting technique, who in turn talks about the "colors" of emotions. A feeling is seldom just one emotion (happy, sad, etc), but the overall impression will be one emotion. Think of a necklace of beads. If most of the beads are red, it'll look like a red necklace, but if you look closer the necklace may also have beads of blue and yellow and chartreuse, etc. In the midst of happiness you'll also find sadness, anger, and so on. For example, going off to college is an exciting time, but the student will also have the mix of sadness at leaving home, fear at being able to do well, apprehension over money, etc. For the emotion to be complete, all the "beads" need to be acknowledged.

[katiemac]

I actually find television/films helpful with this. Good actors and actresses have the ability to convey wide range of emotion without the use of their mouths. I've been known to arrange entire scenes around a particuarly well done expression or gesture.

[maestrowork]

Watching (good) TV/movies is a good way to learn -- it's all show, not tell. Rarely does an actor open his mouth and say "I'm very angry now." However, some actors are over the top and melodramatic... so you need to pick something that is real. I also agree with reading a lot and see how the masters convey emotions without using cliches or dive into internal monologue every time...

[azbikergirl]

There's a heavy emphasis on observable body language in the responses in this thread, but that doesn't always apply. We're not always aware of our own body language while we're in the grip of fear or stomping mad. For those of us using a third person limited narrator, tightly coupled with the POV character, showing body language could come off as author intrusion -- unless it's a conscious thing on the POV character's part (clenching his fists 'cause he's about to kick some boody) or the character is aware he's doing it (I began to chew my lower lip. I couldn't help it -- I always did that when I was nervous).

One thing to avoid, IMO, is having temperatures or feelings "wash" over or through characters. I see it so much, it feels cliche to me. I can't help but cringe when I read about warmth washing over people.

[Susan Gable]

Watching (good) TV/movies is a good way to learn -- it's all show, not tell. Rarely does an actor open his mouth and say "I'm very angry now." However, some actors are over the top and melodramatic... so you need to pick something that is real. I also agree with reading a lot and see how the masters convey emotions without using cliches or dive into internal monologue every time...

Absolutely, Ray.

And yet, internal dialogue (NOT stuff that goes on and on, but snippets here and there) is part of the beauty of a written of piece - we are NOT creating tv/movies, here, people. We CAN be inside these people's heads. One of the things I love the most is letting my reader in on the secret that my character is thinking something totally the opposite of his/her behavior. The written form is intimate because of this.

There is a time for TELL. All SHOW and no TELL is not good either. Granted, it should be much more SHOW, and little TELL, but still, just like adverbs and passsive verbs, sometimes we need it.

Also, we do not have the easy ability that a good actor, who is a visual medium, to utilize subtle facial expressions to convey emotions. Yes, we can and should TRY, but it's very difficult to get that nailed in written form. (Also note that facial expressions are best for the characters whose POV we are NOT in. You can't really describe the facial expressions of your POV character because they can't see it. They can feel it - so they can do some things and know it. But still - subtle cues are usually seen in the non-POV character that the POV character is looking at. Does that make any sense? The fun thing here is having the POV character misread the cues, which def. happens in real life. <G>)

I think the person who does the method acting thing for writers may be Robert Olen Butler - he has a book out about it. (From Where You Dream: The Process of Writing Fiction) I'm going to see a workshop presented by him at the Novelists, Inc. conference next spring. From what I hear, he's wonderful. He speaks of capturing the character's yearnings/desires on the page, using sensory details to do so.

My biggest "trick" for getting that emotion on the page (and this isn't just me saying so - I had many readers for my recent release saying I made them laugh and cry.) is that I allow my character's emotions to flood me - it's almost as if I'm "channeling" them, for wont of a better term. I become them - they become me, and I just convey what's going on with them.

I use music, lighting, and scent to help create mood for myself sometimes. (This is much easier to do when you have an actual office to work in, and don't have kids/people running through the room. <G> I think it would be harder to do in public, too. LOL. Especially since people might get concerned if they saw me sitting in front of my computer with tears streaming down my face. They'd want to know what was wrong and totally wouldn't understand that my characters are hurting. They'd probably call the men with the white coats. <G> Even my husband looks at me funny when he interupts one of these scenes and he knows about the people in my head. <G>)

So, you can't be squeamish when it comes to those emotions. You have to dig deep. You have to be brave enough to go into those places and come back with the goods, so to speak. :)

Susan G.

[TheIT]

The "method acting techniques for writing" book I mentioned is Getting Into Character: Seven Secrets a Novelist Can Learn From Actors by Brandilyn Collins. Interesting read. I'll have to look for the Butler book.

Susan, I agree whole-heartedly with your comments about needing to feel what the characters are feeling. My best writing seems to come when I act out the scene in my head from the character's POV. Later when I'm writing I'm simply transcribing something I've already gone through. The difficulty comes from not wanting to experience first-hand what my characters will encounter. I'm working on a fantasy novel where some of the characters fall on extremely tough times. One character loses his entire family. Scary, but "living" through it will make the writing more powerful. I hope.

I also look at TV and movies for help on how to portray emotions, but I find that I'm always falling back on describing how people look (she smiled, he shook his head, etc). Does anyone have any other suggestions on how to incorporate the other senses when portraying emotion?

[maestrowork]

Susan, I totally agree.

My advice is for those who have not mastered "show vs. tell" or who rely on cliches (shouting, screaming, etc.) or obsessive telling ("I'm so sad right now I just want to curl up and cry my heart out")... What TV/movies teach us is subtlety and nuance. Sometimes it's MORE powerful for the readers if they "experience" the events with the character -- words that are evocative enough to draw the right emotions are very powerful.

What I am saying, for new writers, is that telling and cliches are easy: "She feels so alone. She thought about her loss and felt a lump in her throat."

We writers should try to bring the readers along to experience the emotions, instead of being told by the author that they should feel certain way. So, I agree, one of the things to do is to embrace these emotions yourself, as a writer, and pour your soul out, so to speak.

I also agree that sometimes telling is very effective, especially if what the character's thinking or feeling contradicts his action:

He thought of killing himself, right now.
"I'm fine," he said to Beth. He smiled and touched her hand. "Because I have you. That's all that matters."
Tonight. He had razor blades at home.

[TheIT]

Maestrowork, yeech, that's chilling! But that's what makes writing powerful. An actor would have a great deal of difficulty conveying the dichotomy of thought vs. action just through visuals.

What I'm trying to do while working on my first draft is to cringe and write the cliche down if that's all I can come up with at the time. Better to write down something not so great than stop the flow of words trying to think up something better. I'll usually mark the sections that really bug me with <> so I know to go back later and fix it.

[Susan Gable]

The difficulty comes from not wanting to experience first-hand what my characters will encounter. I'm working on a fantasy novel where some of the characters fall on extremely tough times. One character loses his entire family. Scary, but "living" through it will make the writing more powerful. I hope.
?

That's exactly it! That's what I mean by going into the dark places and coming back with the "goods." Yes, it's very hard and can be very draining on the writer, but this works!

When I first started writing, I worked in fanfiction. (It's a great place to get started.) One story I was writing with another writer was very, very dark. It was basically a hurt/comfort story. (Well, there was a lot of hurt, and not a lot of comfort. <G>) Anyway, the main character had been kidnapped by a pretty evil guy, and my co-writer and I were in the process of breaking the main character. Mentally. Emotionally. We did a number on that poor guy. <G>

And I was INSIDE his mind while we did it. <sigh> (That might be a big D'UH, but at the time I didn't know enough about what I was doing to understand what I was actually committing myself to with that story premise.) That story drained me severely. I had to quit twice while writing it and go and write some "fluffy" pieces to get my equilibrium back.

Someone else might have been able to write the story without it bothering them - but if so, then they weren't experiencing the character's situation the way I was. Or else they have a different tolerance than I do.

So, it should be painful sometimes. It's not an easy process. Everyone wants to do what we do, but not everyone can actually pull it off.

But don't be afraid to face the stuff that might hurt. You may get some really great writing out of it.


Susan G.

[maestrowork]

What I'm trying to do while working on my first draft is to cringe and write the cliche down if that's all I can come up with at the time. Better to write down something not so great than stop the flow of words trying to think up something better. I'll usually mark the sections that really bug me with <> so I know to go back later and fix it.

Cliches are great for that. They're quick and dirty placeholders. Just don't forget to go back in rewrites to weed them out and replace with brilliant writing. I use cliches during my first drafts.