A joke

[Enigma]

The relatives of a gravely ill man had gathered in the waiting room of a hospital.

Finally, the doctor came in looking tired and somber. "I'm afraid I'm the bearer of bad news," he said as he surveyed the worried faces. "The only hope left for your loved one at this time is a brain transplant. It's an experimental procedure, very risky but it is the only hope. Insurance will cover the procedure, but you will have to pay for the brain yourselves."

The family members sat silent as they absorbed the news. After a great length of time, someone asked, "Well, how much does a brain cost?"

The doctor quickly responded, "$5,000 for a male brain, and $200 for a female brain."
The moment turned awkward. Men in the room tried not to smile, avoiding eye contact with the women, but some actually smirked.

A man unable to control his curiosity, blurted out the question everyone wanted to ask, "Why is the male brain so much more?"

The doctor smiled at the childish innocence and explained to the entire group. "It's just standard pricing procedure," he said. "We have to mark down the price of the female brains, because they've actually been used."

[Richard]

....The Aristocrats!

Oh. Wait.

[dpaterso]

Just to balance up that shamefully sexist pro-fem joke:

"As Good As It Gets" was on TV again tonight. Jack Nicolson's "Melvin" the author is asked by a gushing secretary how he manages to write such great female characters. "I just think of a man, and I take away reasoning, and accountability."

I chuckled, my other half hit me with a cushion. Serves me right for watching a girlie film. But she had the food on her lap, what's a guy to do?

Carry on.

-Derek
Derek's Web Page - stories, screenplays, novels, insanity. (http://hometown.aol.co.uk/DPaterson57/scripts.htm)

[StephieM]

HEHE! :ROFL:

Steph

[preyer]

heh heh. i used to tell a variation of this joke to whatever supervisor i had at the time. it went something like this:

i was walking downtown yesterday and i sat this sign on a window saying 'brains for sale.' curious, i walked inside and started looking at the brains under the counter. a salesperson came up and asked if he could help me out.

'yeah,' i said, 'i see here you've a lot of brains. how about a doctor's brains: how much does that cost, because i've always wanted to be a doctor?'

'a $100 an ounce,' he says.

'hm, kinda pricey. how about a lawyer's brains, how much does that cost? wouldn't mind being a lawyer.'

'oh, lawyer brains are $200 an ounce.'

'yikes!' i said. 'okay. well, how about GM supervisor brains (or insert whatever brains you feel appropriate), i've always wanted to be a GM supervisor?'

'well, GM supervisor brains are $500 an ounce.'

'$500 an ounce! why so expensive?'

the salesperson looks at me and says, 'do you know how many GM supervisors it takes to get an ounce of brains?'

go ahead, ask me about the time i hit a pig, my bird drank gas, or the guy whose arm got hit with a radio antenna.

[sspunisher]

:: rolls eyes::

My favorite of all time is a Chris Rock standup.

He was talking about men and women arguing. I don't remember the exact way he said it, but it went something along the lines of this:

"We as men are handicapped when it comes to arguing with women. Because as men, when we argue, we feel the need to make SENSE. And that's why women are so good at it. Because there isn't a woman out there who'll let something as trivial as 'sense' get in her way."

[scripter1]

God created Adam and Eve.
Adam was happy. The garden was growing, he liked Eve, and things were pretty good. But, he did have some questions so he talked to God one day.

"God" Adam said, "Why did you make Eve so beautiful?"

"So you would love her Adam" God answered.

"Well, that makes sense. So why did you make her so soft and warm?"

"So you would love her Adam."

"Fine, okay. Then why did you make her so sweet, and kind?"

"So you would love her Adam."

"All right. But God, why did you make her so DUMB!"

God smiled and said "So she would love you Adam."

[dpaterso]

"All right. But God, why did you make her so DUMB!"
God smiled and said "So she would love you Adam."So the dumb gene has been passed down through countless female generations, is that what you're saying? And God is a smug patronizing male chauvanist pig? I like it when my beliefs are affirmed.

-Derek
Derek's Web Page - stories, screenplays, novels, insanity. (http://hometown.aol.co.uk/DPaterson57/scripts.htm)

[scripter1]

a joke!!!!

[Enigma]

BTW, you can use the name of your own politician. This is just how it came to me.

"WALKING EAGLE CLINTON"

Senator Hilary Clinton was invited to address a major gathering of the
American Indian Nation. She spoke for almost an hour on her future plans for increasing every Native American's present standard of living, should she one day become the first female President. She referred to her career as a New York Senator, how she had signed "YES" for every Indian issue that came to her desk for approval.

Although the Senator was vague on the details of her plan, she seemed most
enthusiastic about her future ideas for helping her "red sisters and
brothers".

At the conclusion of her speech, the Tribes presented the Senator with a
plaque inscribed with her new Indian name - Walking Eagle. The proud Senator then departed in her motorcade, waving to the crowds.

A news reporter later inquired to the group of chiefs of how they came to
select the new name given to the Senator.

They explained that Walking Eagle is the name given to a bird so full of
s..t it can no longer fly.

[dpaterso]

The moral of that one would seem to be, never trust an Injun.

-Derek
Derek's Web Page - stories, screenplays, novels, insanity. (http://hometown.aol.co.uk/DPaterson57/scripts.htm)

[Enigma]

The moral of that one would seem to be, never trust an Injun.

-Derek
Derek's Web Page - stories, screenplays, novels, insanity. (http://hometown.aol.co.uk/DPaterson57/scripts.htm)

Or, and especially, a politician.