Am I putting too much into one novel?

[The_Ink_Goddess]

Hi, guys. I really need some help with my new novel...if you could provide it, I'd like that very much ;). This is the basic plot online:

"The virgin birth, the abducted girl, and the end of the world as you know it.

When Poppy tells her boyfriend Quinn that she's pregnant, he is horrified. Not only are they too young for children, and devout Christians, but they have never had sex. So Quinn can only come to one conclusion: Poppy has cheated on him. Poppy insists that this is not the case. She tells him, instead, that she believes that this is a 21st-century Immaculate Conception. He thinks she's crazy; but, slowly, he comes around to the idea. But Poppy asks Quinn to pretend, for the sake of their family and friends, to be the child's father. He agrees reluctantly, and suddenly, the situation is spinning out of their control.

Under pressure from family and friends, Poppy and Quinn are facing tough times. To deal with it, Poppy turns to a new friend: the shy, scared Melody, girl next door and good listener. But there are a lot of things Poppy doesn't know about Melody. Like the fact that the people who claim to be her parents are not really her parents at all. Or how she feels like she is suffocating in her own life...and she will do anything to get out.

But Poppy and Quinn are about to find out. Because Melody has a sinister plan for this miracle baby..."



What do you think? I know you can't really tell from the plot outline, but do you think it's too much? Am I trying to tell two stories in one? Should I cut the Melody plot and make it about Poppy and Quinn and their internal struggle? I'm asking you to go on gut instinct here :). Thank you!

[Danthia]

Seems fine to me. Sounds like Melody is the antag and what Poppy and Quinn want will be at odds with what she wants and the conflict will come from there. There are other inherent issues to complicate things (like pretending to be the father and the family stuff) which makes a nice layered story.

[True]

For a second there, I thought we were writing the same story. But as I kept reading, I realized our stories are actually going in two different directions, which is a relief. Anywho, this part confuses me:

Like the fact that the people who claim to be her parents are not really her parents at all.

Do you mean Melody's parents aren't actually her parents or do you mean Poppy's parents?

If you're talking about Melody's parents, then it's too much. If you're not, I don't think it is. Anyway, this sounds interesting.

Good luck.

ETA: I read it again, and I think I know what you mean now. It doesn't sound like too much.

[The_Ink_Goddess]

Sorry, that was Melody. She was "the abducted girl" mentioned in the first line.

Sorry to push your opinion, but why do you think that (not disagreeing with you, just curious)?

[True]

Sorry, that was Melody. She was "the abducted girl" mentioned in the first line.

Sorry to push your opinion, but why do you think that (not disagreeing with you, just curious)?

Think that with Melody's parents not being hers it'd be too much? I misread it, confusing the line I posted for Melody's (even though it is) and thinking the next ones had to do with Poppy. Sorry for the confusion. Once I actually read it again, I realized what you were talking about. I was just being dense. :D

Nope, I don't think it's too much.

[suki]

From the description, I'd say it comes down to execution as to whether all the subplots enhance or clutter the story - so try it and see.

And, as an aside, I'd reconsider naming the boyfriend Quinn, as it is the name of the pregnant teen character on Glee, who also had some confusion about who the father is and a strange story about the conception (not at all like this, but with the subject matters, I'd change his name not to draw associations). I get your Quinn is the boyfriend, whereas on Glee Quinn is the pregnant girl, but I'd avoid the associations all together by changing his name.

~suki

[The_Ink_Goddess]

Oh, okay! I don't watch Glee, so I didn't know that...I will change it, though :).

Umm. Sorry, I should be more specific here. I'm tweaking my original plot a little. My novel's kind of being told in three voices: Melody, Quinn (who is now no longer Quinn!) and Poppy. Melody is the kind of secondary voice, but she feels really trapped in her life with her overbearing parents and has sociopathic tendencies. When she meets the pregnant Poppy, she concocts a scheme to abduct the baby and "give" it to her parents as a replacement. Does that make sense...? I just didn't know if it would be making a Contemporary YA into too much of a Hand-That-Rocks-The-Cradle suspense stuff.

Does that make sense? Or am I blabbering?

[Glenakin]

There's nothing wrong with your new novel. Everything's fine. All that needs to be done is proper execution