Different Languages?

Annayna · Dec 6, 2009

Quick question here, I have two different groups of people that play important roles in my novel. Should I translate what the characters are saying or just leave it alone..

Example:
“Sono venuto per la ragazza, li uccidono.” Rune said.

“What?” Amelia asked.

Now in this scene he does tell her what he said, but in the others he does not.

The entire book doesnt have the two languages, but some Italian is in the book..

Maxinquaye · Dec 6, 2009

If you give the reader the knowledge of what Rune said, then leave it in.

"Rune pointed the gun at Amelia's head. A feral grin spread over his face. "Sono venuto per la ragazza, li uccidono"
"What?" Amelia asked."

Or something like that. I don't have the context to make anything better of it.

Annayna · Dec 6, 2009

So I should make it known what each character says to make it easier on the readers?

Maxinquaye · Dec 6, 2009

Yes, if you ask me. The readers who don't speak italian is going to be annoyed and put down your book if they can't understand what's going on. Try this out for starters:

"Anna and Miguel sat down at the cafe. Anna ordered a grappa for both of them, and then looked at Miguel.

"We have to talk."

"O que você quer falar, querido?"

"About us"

"Não há nada para falar. Eu pertenço a você para sempre." "

THat's about where you lose your readers because they don't know what's going on. And you're there to push the story forward.

Annayna · Dec 6, 2009

ah I see.. I'll just have to have him translate for her... or might just scratch the idea of having the other language in because it does make it hard

Maxinquaye · Dec 6, 2009

I think one sentence doesn't hurt. It will flesh out the character for the reader. But whole passages, that's going to be confusing for the reader. They'll disconnect from the story.

Annayna · Dec 6, 2009

na its only a few phrases, at the beginning of chapter 2...

Matera the Mad · Dec 6, 2009

If it's a problem for beta readers, then talk changes

Ravanne · Dec 6, 2009

It would depend on the story somewhat. Is it important that the reader know what Rune said to Amelia? Is it important that she doesn't know what was said so Rune never tells her or the reader? Should the reader know but not Amelia? Short phrases for flavor or to advance the story should not lose the reader.

Sevvy · Dec 7, 2009

For the things he translates for the other character himself, write them in Italian. But for the things he isn't going to translate, if you want the reader to know what he's saying, you could try doing something like:

"I hate you," he said to her in Italian. When she shot him a confused look, he just grinned and said "You're so beautiful." She smiled back, unawares of the previous insult.

Different Languages?

Annayna

Vampire

Maxinquaye

That cheeky buggerer

Annayna

Vampire

Maxinquaye

That cheeky buggerer

Annayna

Vampire

Maxinquaye

That cheeky buggerer

Annayna

Vampire

Matera the Mad

Bartender, gimme a Linux Mint

Ravanne

Sevvy

Spec Fic Writer