Help with my latest epiphany

So, I'm restless, I can't study, I can't write, I can't unpack the boxes around my house to get ready for the garage sale or swap meet. I'm just so unfocused it's not even funny.

Then, when I am attempting to do my homework, it hits me...there's a reason I'm stalling everything. I'm not facing a nagging, gut-twisting feeling of dread that has haunted me since about the start of this weekend.

Some of you may know, I've spent the majority of my adult life as an HR professional. However, that's not all I've done. I was actually a business owner of a large commercial contracting company. In the end before I sold out, I had close to 100 employees at any given time and I was the CEO. I started out in my career working on the roof. I've done everything from manual labor, estimating jobs and submitting bids, payroll, bookkeeping, legal, market, public relations and customer service to mediating. And that's not all I did for my firm. But you get the idea, I wore a lot of different hats all the time.

So, I retired 12 years ago, sold my half and went home to raise my kids as a single mother. Now, I've been studying part time and having a great time with them and now, they are grown.

As you may or may not recall, last week I was going on in a thread about my HR law class. I'm taking this because I assumed it was a logical step for me to go work for someone else as their HR Director and I need this certification or for the self employed consulting route, I would want it.

But guess what I've just realized. I hate HR. I mean, it just hit me in one of those OH MY GOSH! I HATE IT! moments. Yes, it comes very naturally to me, and I liked doing it for those years as the OWNER of a business. Why? Cos I got to do more for those employees, than a normal HR professional could do. By the time I retired I had a secretary doing the paperwork part of it in tandem with accounting so I didn't need to worry about that. And really paperwork's really no biggie.

I love my field of study. It's communications: practice and theory. So, what job can I do with my degree? Because I can tell you right now, I get sick to my stomach just thinking about being in the thick of HR ever again.

Has anyone else discovered they needed to find a different field of work and were good at what they did but couldn't stomach it? What am I going to do?

This is like INSANE!

Thanks in advance, even for those of you who hate me for my pettiness.

CatSlave said:

Check with your local state employment offices.
They should offer career counseling, aptitude testing, yadda yadda that can help point you in the right direction for discovering your dream job.

It's free and you may be very surprised at the insights you can gain about yourself.

But for heaven's sake don't go back to HR if you hate it.

Good luck.

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Yes, I've been looking through the sea of information out there that has to do with certification for mediators rather than HR. I've also emailed the counselor who got me into the HR program as well to tell her of my concerns and she just might have some suggestions for me, I see the university I attend has mediation focused classes as well. I appreciate you responding.

I'm being a drama queen right now and thinking that at 51, I ought to be able to do a job I can stand...but maybe that just isn't life?

Romantic Heretic said:

I gave up being a computer programmer because I got to hate it. Actually I loved the work but I hated the profession. Probably had something to do with the fact that my 'peers' tended to look down on me because I was a self taught high school dropout.

I also disliked that many of my 'peers' had far too high an opinion of themselves. They never bothered to learn about the client's requirements and they didn't make any great efforts to check their code. Then they'd use the excuse that the client was too stupid to understand their genius as an excuse to get away with this.

And finally a lot of people who went into computer programming had no intention of being computer programmers. They wanted to be managers. They decided it was a B.Sc. in computer science or an MBA that offered them the quickest route and they had gone with computer science.

So I gave up. Trying to deal with all that made me very ill. Damned near killed me.

I'm trying to be a writer now. I'll let you know how that turns out.

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You know this is a part of why I think I'm balking at the HR studies. I've seen that same attitude this last year as I was looking for work, from so many HR personnel. I have no idea why they act this way but they do. They are better than a prospective employee because they are sitting on the other side of the desk.

heh. I hope being a writer works out for you. I admire any who work at something that is this hard.

bettielee said:

I only hate you for deciding you have more than one career option... but I'm petty that way.
(ha ha! Teasing!)

I actually admire your courage to find a direction. I'm sorry I have no advice to give you - but I know that doing a job you hate is a misery. I hope you find a direction, and i am sure your college folks will aid you to focus your studies toward something useful - maybe even with the same classes, just finding a different outcome for them.

Good luck!

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I'm quite flattered you hate me at all! That means I'm getting better.

I have been reading some blogs online from a mediator and attorneys. I had been contemplating law after I finish with my BS (snerk) in communications, which btw, I dearly love. But sometimes a person says, well, is that a bit like an English degree and what will I do with it??

Yeah, I'm more than a little panicky with this new revelation. I knew I hated the contention of HR, I just wasn't sure why. Then I started studying and thought, oh crap...that's right, there's no end to the conflict when you are an HR Manager. Maybe I better head right back where people keep telling me to go, business admin. but I HATE MATH!

ETA: Some of these lawyers say that the law has stolen their soul and that's how I feel about HR law. It's all about what you can or can't get away with in mistreating employees or so it seems.

Silent Rob said:

What about being a communications consultant, if that's what you enjoy? I don't know much about that kind of thing but it sounds relevant and I'm sure you can find out more about it.

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kct webber said:

Consultant. Self employed, and you can teach businesses to do more for their employees, just like you used to do.

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Thank you for responding. As I'm unable to sleep I've been reading my textbook for one of my communications classes...they referred to one sort of focus for employment called; organizational training.

I would love to have a viable consulting business. I'm just not sure how to put myself out there. And I have this concern about credibility as I've not finished my degree (yeah, I was busy building a business, raising kids and ex-hubby got his degree during that time) but I'm working on it now.

How do we develop credibility from just our work experience? And would you go the seminar route and add on-site help?

Thanks for letting me pick your brain.

Silent Rob said:

I don't have any experience of this kind of thing myself, but I know people who've done it. They seem to start off by building on the contacts they made during their previous work. I'd assume you have a lot of them through the business you made. If they can start throwing work in your direction because they know you and know that your experience and skills are good, then you are already on track to establishing a name for yourself that is more widely known. It helps if you're also cheaper than the average to begin with - which I think is quite viable if you're a small business or individual competing against larger organisations. Clients can also be more assured of your personal attention.

That seems to be the usual approach.

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This is really great Rob. I guess I need to not be afraid to reach out to those contacts. I happen to have in my possession seven letters of reference and two of those people now work for the same company and they are technical reps for all the roofing companies that install the specific single-ply membrane that my company did/does (ex-hubby still has it going). One of them used to be one of my employees and the other was such a great business associate. I will put that on a list of things to be brave about.

1. don't be afraid to promote to old contacts and get them to spread the word.

thanks !

Yes, I agree, I can establish credibility by the people who know me through business. I've even been thinking, between pages of this chapter I'm reading, that I ought to (once I'm ready to launch) ask one of my contacts if he'd mind giving me a list of the state contractors and those in the tri-state area, he works with and allow me to use him as a reference. That's in the hundreds and I'd be willing to travel outside the state as well. Hmmm...this is looking a lot better.

Question remains, do I still need the HR certification or can I leave that up to those who want to run those departments?

*goes off to read another page or two*

kct webber said:

Check out these guys.

Great marketing stuff:

http://www.sethgodin.com/sg/

Starting a business stuff:

http://www.48days.com/

More great marketing stuff:

http://www.gmarketing.com/

General finance and business stuff. (Also lots of business and leadership workshops and seminars.):

https://www.daveramsey.com/

Read everything you can get your hands on by these dudes. Seriously. And then, when they recommend books, read them too.

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I'm glad you posted this here, like I said in PM, I know there are other AW'ers looking for ways to change their current job situation or are unemployed and looking for a new way to earn money.

CatSlave said:

Maybe you could form a group of people in the same predicament: professionals who have outgrown their profession and want to mentor newcomers.
If you had a consulting business manned by "retirees" -for lack of a better word- who could cover a number of industries, maybe you could get some recognition from state or federal employment services.
Just a thought off the top of my head.

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That is a great idea and I would definitely go for that as I go along because the more you have doing the work the better.

Thanks so much for your help

CatSlave said:

Also, you should check with the state and federal agencies to see if there is any grant money to start a business like yours.
You might qualify as a minority, being a single mother.

In Maryland there's a big push to help people start their own businesses, and the resources available are impressive.

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You are a treasure and I should have thought of this. We do have the SBA here. I will contact them and see if they can help me.

I also had, weirdly enough...someone knock on my door about two hours ago, a guy wanting to clean the house windows. When I told him politely thanks but not today, he put his stuff down and said then let me give you this and he started talking about another business he has which really didn't end up being what we talked about. This total stranger started talking to me about what he's doing to make ends meet, and how he's do his health insurance licensing test but he's so worried about some things companies are asking him to sign.

Before I could stop myself I gave him advice on how to protect himself from people asking too much of him that will limit and put a cap on his insurance business. He looked at me and just stared and said, THANK YOU so much I was wondering about that. So I told him this is what I do that I'm working on the consultancy business idea and he said, "do you have a card, can I give them out to people. You are just fabulous and so knowledgeable." I told him how insecure I was about starting and he said,

"NO! Don't be afraid, in just ten minutes you solved my problem. You NEED to do this."

I mean...my gosh, I'm sitting here wondering how that all just happened.