A question for etiquette experts

Bravo, is this a Hindu wedding? Never mind. If you RSVP'd, you should go. These people probably have paid for a caterer based on the number of responses.

Bravo said:

yeah, how'd you know?

hindu groom, christian bride.

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Nah, skip her service - go and listen to a Christian McBride CD instead.

I know it doesn't help to be flip right now, but this is was a once-in-a-lifetime posting opportunity.

(Actually, depending on what church she belongs to, her wedding ceremony might be under an hour.)

I don't know about hindu stuff, but Christian services are typically less than an hour.

The service takes an hour.

Then there's the greeting line, which is 15-45 minutes, depending on how many are invited.

Then there's the wedding photos - that can take over an hour. ETA: This is just the bridal party, usually. They often go somewhere completely different just to take the photos; you'll be at liberty then.

There will likely be a span of an hour or two between when you get out of the service and when the reception starts.

Plenty of time for you to sneak off and start a thread here about it!

That is curious. Unless they have a pastor give a really long sermon or something.

Oh, another thing. They don't say wedding from 2:30 - whatever time ? I've gone to weddings that were only an hour, but the reception was 5 hours after the fact.

I'd show up for both, make the rounds, chat a bit with your friend and his fiancée, then split.

MoonWriter said:

I'd show up for both, make the rounds, chat a bit with your friend and his fiancée, then split.

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Yep, that's my advice too. You RSVPd. RSVPed? Anyway, you did. And I don't see any graceful way to get out of it.

Sorry.

Look at it this way: you're getting brownie points in two different religions -- Descartes Pascal would approve!

Bravo said:

really? according to the invitation it says wedding at 2:30 PM and reception at 6 PM.

hmph

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Yeah, basically this means the ceremony is at 2:30, and may only be half an hour or an hour. After that the bride has to take photos, shake everyone's hand, etc. etc. etc. It's a long process - you don't have to be there.

I know you said it's a hindu groom and Christian bride... this may be a stupid question, but are they both present at both ceremonies? From your first post it sounded like they were each going to their own thing without each other.

If you're short on time, just count yourself lucky it's not a Chinese wedding.

Good luck Bravo! I hope Haskins isn't busy.

make your appearances, be seen by the important people, then leave.

Or stay if you are having fun. you might be surprised.

C.bronco said:

Good luck Bravo! I hope Haskins isn't busy.

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I'll pay dearly if you can send photos of him in a pretty frock.
(Don't tell him I said this.)

You can skip it if you send a really expensive gift with an apology... much bigger than the food they're buying for you

RSVPs are like blood pacts, basically

I would say it depends on the ceremony and the number of people going and the way the food is done.

If its 200 people, 1 person not showing up isn't going to make a huge difference in the food bill.

If its 20 people then I would question what the method of feeding is. If its by the plate, you're screwed, go.

If its family/buffet style, don't worry about it. SOMEONE will eat your portion.

People always have too many chairs/too much stuff. We overkill it to be safe.

/just got married two months ago

Ask yourself "What would Jack, Janet and Chrissy do?"

Look, Wayne, this is simple, and a practice worth learning.

Yes, go to the church. But don't go inside.

Just stand outside with whatever soothes your nerves and wave hello when the happy couple arrives. All you need is for them to see you there.

Then hit the local bar for an hour or two.

THEN join up at the reception.

I mean, who'd miss out on free food and drink, eh?

And you most certainly do NOT want to miss the chance to mess with your buddy's car. Bring lots of whip cream (no, NOT shaving cream --- that crap rinses off too easy; whip cream dries on sticky and it takes acetone to remove it properly...that or maple syrup and pine needles.)

What?


Well... he asked.


Don't hate me cause I'm pernicious.