What not to do when you are pregnant

As someone who has never been, nor ever will be (God and Colin Farrell's fecund ballbags permitting), I shall eat what I please.

Thank you. That is all.

I would sumo wrestle.

Then you know that buffalo wings are OUT.

Trust me, not a good idea.

I couldn't eat chicken in any form...I couldn't touch it, be in the same room with it or look at it from a distance.

I did however eat a lot of Junior Mints without issue...and it showed on my ass.

Anything fried.

*turns green at the memory*

The wife said even water gave her heartburn.

Handy tip for breastfeeding mothers... orange juice. Not by the gallon. Gave the poor child awful colic, and me several really bad sleepless nights.

cartwheels.

scarletpeaches said:

As someone who has never been, nor ever will be (God and Colin Farrell's fecund ballbags permitting), I shall eat what I please.

Thank you. That is all.

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Did you know that eating a whole box of Junior Mints, Trebors or Polos could get ye pregnant though? Apparently, consumption of a lot of mints has been found to interfere with the Pill as they have a mild laxative effect when eaten in high enough amounts.

This has been a public service announcement from the Party for Prevention of Polo Produced Pregnancies.

Please return to your normal programming.

Oh, and poor Jo- I hope you feel better soon!

A lot of women get heartburn when they're pregnant. Foods they used to be able to eat are suddenly not so doable anymore.

Plus, a lot of your organs get all squished up.

Doesn't that sound pleasant?

Yeah, I'm 9 months along now. (Speaking of which, why the *multiple expletives deleted* do they *MED* tell you pregnancy lasts *MED* 9 months when 40 weeks is much *MED* closer to TEN and feels like 15??? They should call it 2 years just to make us feel better.) I had an order of fish and chips followed by an entire 10 ounce box of baked butterfly shrimp a couple of nights ago. There may have been a king-size Payday in there somewhere, too, but if so I've blocked that part from my memory.

It wasn't pretty.

And yes, I gain between 45 and 60 pounds per pregnancy. Because I return to pre-pregnancy weight, do fine on blood sugar/protein/blood pressure tests, and bring a gun to my prenatal appointments, my midwife is okay with it.

Oh lord, I consumed all manner of things when pregnant. I'd go on binges and it was so wonderful at the time. But I didn't really gain weight (13 and 2 lbs respectively) with either pregnancy, so it was a license to eat anything and everything.

With Piper, I lived on hot wings and fresh fruit. I wouldn't touch meat hardly at all later. I'd take a 1/2 bag of frozen vegetables with a bit of butter, dash of salt and pepper, and chow down.

With Cadence, it was all steak and carbs. Vegetables made me nauseated for most of the pregnancy, though I did go on a salad binge there at the end.

Both kiddos love the foods from their respective in utero diets though, so be warned. As Piper's gotten older, she hardly eats meat at all. She'll ask for steak occasionally or a fried chicken leg (that's genetic, though), but she mostly lives on fruit, veggies, and cheese.

KCathy said:

Yeah, I'm 9 months along now. (Speaking of which, why the *multiple expletives deleted* do they *MED* tell you pregnancy lasts *MED* 9 months when 40 weeks is much *MED* closer to TEN and feels like 15??? They should call it 2 years just to make us feel better.)

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In some countries, they say "ten lunar months," or just "ten months."

::Backs slowly away from the overly-pregnant woman with a gun.::

::Wonders if I should warn the other mods not to interfere with KCathy for the next 2-3 weeks.::

For me, it was the horror of realizing one morning that I was chasing my bowl of Frosted Flakes with Doritos.

I haven't eaten Frosted Flakes since.

scarletpeaches said:

As someone who has never been, nor ever will be (God and Colin Farrell's fecund ballbags permitting), I shall eat what I please.

Thank you. That is all.

Click to expand...

I still wouldn't eat an entire package of dried apricots in one sitting ever again.

This is (unfortunate) experience speaking...

I've just about polished off another packet of Oreos.

Well, that's one thing America ever did right, exporting those beauties. NOM NOM NOM!

What about an entire box of FROZEN Junior Mints? Mmmmm.

Hey - that's MY son!

I couldn't eat or smell garlic, chicken, or olive oil with my first pregnancy. With the second, nothing bothered me.

Had heartburn with both near the end.