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View Full Version : What if _____ made a Tom & Jerry cartoon....?


Exir
08-22-2009, 02:05 PM
What if Orson Welles made a Tom & Jerry cartoon?

Nobody understands why Jerry feels such an urge to slap Tom with a cherry pie, especially Tom himself. He spends the whole movie finding out the reason behind Jerry's infatuation with his beloved pie. Finally, he realizes Jerry isn't really a total jerk.

What if Andrei Tarkovsky made a Tom & Jerry cartoon?

Jerry carries a cherry pie across the screen. Every time he accidentally drops it on the floor, he picks it up and starts from the beginning again. After 15 minutes of him carrying a pie, he finally makes it to the other side and promptly slaps it in Tom's face. Tom then has dreams in monochrome sepia about all the times he has had an encounter with a cherry pie.

Your turn...

Samantha's_Song
08-22-2009, 02:48 PM
What if Quentin Tarantino made a Tom and Jerry cartoon.

Jerry is walking along the street with his cherry pie under his arm. He spots Tom on the other side and calls out, "Hey, you fucking motherfucker, I've got something here for you."
Tom runs over the road to join Jerry. Jerry reaches into his cherry pie and pulls out and gun, fires it at Tom and splatters him all across the sidewalk. "There you go, you fucking arsehole, next time I want cream on my motherfucking pie!"

alleycat
08-22-2009, 03:44 PM
What if Frank Capra made a Tom and Jerry cartoon.

Tom and Jerry have been rivals since high school. Tom chases Jerry, and Jerry plays tricks on Tom. It looks like the two with never get along, but when Tom is threatened with being thrown out of the house for good for stealing a cherry pie, it's Jerry who comes to his rescue. Jerry proves that it was the mean-tempered, mean-spirited housekeeper who actually took the pie. In the end Tom and Jerry learn that the other is not such a bad guy after all, and that it's good to have a friend. Final scene: the two are eating cherry pie and getting it all over their faces. Jerry is covered in pie filling. Tom mistakes Jerry for a big, juicy cherry and almost accidentally eats him. The two have a good laugh about it.

JoeEkaitis
08-22-2009, 08:14 PM
What if Oliver Stone made a Tom and Jerry cartoon.

Kevin Costner reprises his role as Jim Garrison who attempts to prove, without any tangible supporting evidence, that Tom could only fall backward if he had been struck with a mallet swung by another mouse on the grassy knoll.

maxmordon
08-22-2009, 09:05 PM
What if David Lynch made a Tom and Jerry cartoon

In a dark corner Tom sits while an unstoppable laugh track goes on and on, then he reveals he's crying and the audience goes on a riot laughing. Now he sees Jerry coming out of his hole and rips his head off. Then, headless Jerry goes dancing while his head sings a jazz song inside Tom, but Tom eats Jerry's body and is no work, Jerry sings an upbeat Jazz over and over and we see Tom in a dark corner again with the audience laughing, suddenly Tom sits again and starts to cry and the whole thing starts again.

James81
08-23-2009, 01:50 AM
What if Quentin Tarantino made a Tom and Jerry cartoon.

Jerry is walking along the street with his cherry pie under his arm. He spots Tom on the other side and calls out, "Hey, you fucking motherfucker, I've got something here for you."
Tom runs over the road to join Jerry. Jerry reaches into his cherry pie and pulls out and gun, fires it at Tom and splatters him all across the sidewalk. "There you go, you fucking arsehole, next time I want cream on my motherfucking pie!"

:roll: :roll:

What if Michael Bay made a Tom and Jerry cartoon?

Jerry is walking along the street with a cherry pie in his hands. He spots tom on the other side and throws the pie at him. Tom does a back flack up over the pie, the pie hits the building and explodes. Cars near the explosion are flipped over and crash into each other. A truck pulling a double wide trailor crashes into the pile of cars, the double wide slides up over the roof and destroys a building.

shawkins
08-23-2009, 01:57 AM
What if Martin Scorsese made a Tom and Jerry cartoon?

I don't know what would happen, but I bet Leonardo Dicaprio would play Tom.

alleycat
08-23-2009, 02:00 AM
What if Martin Scorsese made a Tom and Jerry cartoon?

I don't know what would happen, but I bet Leonardo Dicaprio would play Tom.
He would probably play Jerry. De Niro would probably play Tom.

;-)

alleycat
08-23-2009, 02:25 AM
If George Lucas made a Tom and Jerry cartoon . . .

In a mouse hole far, far away . . . it's learned that Jerrian Empire is developing a new secret weapon. They are cloning an army of robotic Jerrys, each armed with a huge broom. Tom is doomed unless he can find the legendary Rodentian knight, Taila, and be trained to become a Rodentian knight himself. He's hampered in his search by having a thing for his sister. Will Jerry be able to use "the force", or will mousedom be lost forever? There are also fifty-six prequels to this.

bettielee
08-23-2009, 02:43 AM
If Trey Parker and Matt Stone made a Tom and Jerry cartoon...

if would be called Itchy and Scratchy... oh... wait...

Chauchat Butterfly
08-23-2009, 03:01 AM
What if Sergei Eisenstein made a Tom & Jerry cartoon?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YIZ4nAprSSE

ENDUT! HOCH HECH!

Ken
08-23-2009, 03:13 AM
... what if any modern movie director made a Tom and Jerry cartoon?

Both would curse left and right and fornicate with everything in sight.

alleycat
08-23-2009, 03:17 AM
Oh, no, I just had a terrible thought. What if they really did make a big screen version of Tom and Jerry, starring Mike Myers and Jack Black. It's really not out of the range of possibilities. They DID do a live version of The Cat in the Hat.

Samantha's_Song
08-23-2009, 04:41 AM
That sounds like the kinds of pies my mum makes. I'm not kidding here, Napoleon used her home-made dumplings as cannon balls. :D


What if Michael Bay made a Tom and Jerry cartoon?

Jerry is walking along the street with a cherry pie in his hands. He spots tom on the other side and throws the pie at him. Tom does a back flack up over the pie, the pie hits the building and explodes. Cars near the explosion are flipped over and crash into each other. A truck pulling a double wide trailor crashes into the pile of cars, the double wide slides up over the roof and destroys a building.

dgiharris
08-23-2009, 05:30 AM
What if the writers of Sex and City made a Tom and Jerry cartoon?

Tom would be Tabatha, sexy temptress cat whose a publicist by day, slut by night.
Jerry would be Carrey, a single mouse who writes a funny little sex column about interspecies relationships.

Carrey expresses concern for Tabatha who gives her cherry pie to just any and everyone, especially the roughneck bulldog across the street. Carrey on the other hand is in a relationship with "Mr. Big" a wall street investment rat who bounces in and out of her life like a ping pong ball.

A new sexy single cat name Tom moves in next door and gives his number to Carrey to pass onto to Tabatha. Tabatha goes to Carrey and demands the number but Carrey doesn't give it to her because Tabatha is already sleeping with the Alaskan Bobsled team that's in town on a promotion. Tabatha chases Carrey all over the block until she corners her friend and pries the number out of her hand....

Exir
08-23-2009, 11:38 AM
What if Akira Kurosawa made a Tom & Jerry cartoon?

Tom and Jerry brandish a cherry pie and a piece of cheese respectively, and the streaks of red, purple and yellow trail across the screen, painting a breathtaking picturesque scene as they engage in combat while running down a beautiful dew-covered hillside. You can't but help wonder if they're choreographed this with each other...

Exir
08-23-2009, 11:44 AM
LOL @ dgiharris.

Another Tom & Jerry cartoon by Michael Bay.

Tom and Jerry have a massive battle in a sleek shiny house, but halfway through the movie we realize what's the real plot: filming, from as many angles as conceivable, all the flattering features of the even more massively hot female cat. She has a reason to exist on screen and Tom and Jerry a reason to continue their SFX pie-fight, because Tom and Jerry keep rejecting the female-cat's advances for no good reason. And the female-cat still chases after both of them, giving her an excuse to exist on screen.

dgiharris
08-24-2009, 01:30 AM
What if the Writers of A Few Good Men made a Tom and Jerry Cartoon.

Colonel Jerry sits in the witness box within the courtoom

Tom, paces back and forth occasionally pointing at the blown up picture of Private Santiago, a helpless victim of a cherry pie facial.

Tom looks menacingly at Jerry: "Did you order the Code Red."

Jerry scowls: "You people, you fucking people, sit here in your courtroom and judge me? You weep for Santiago and curse the Marines; you have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know: that Santiago's pie-in-the-face, while tragic, probably saved lives. You don't want the truth

Tom paces the courtroom: "Did you order the Code Red?"

Jerry: "You don't want the truth"

Tom sneers: "I think i'm entitled to it!"

Jerry: "You want the truth? You want the truth! You Can't Handle the TRUTH!!!"

Tom yells, "Did you order the Code Red!"

Jerry: "You're God Damn Right I DID!!!"

dgiharris
08-26-2009, 10:45 AM
*bump*

just because its fun and we rarely have writing related fun in the movies forum

Mel...

Zoombie
08-26-2009, 11:12 AM
What if JMS, writer of Babylon 5, made an episode of Tom and Jerry.

In the very first minute, a clue shall be revealed in a minor bit of dialog, one that will have massive ramifications five years later, when Jerry finally uses it to outwit Tom in an incredibly amazing reveal that has nerds like me falling out of their chairs, then rushing too computers to debate and discus!

dgrintalis
08-26-2009, 11:28 AM
What if M. Night Shyamalan made a Tom and Jerry cartoon?

Tom: I see dead mice.
Jerry: In your dreams?
Tom shakes his head no.
Jerry: While you're awake?
Tom nods.
Jerry: Dead mice like, in graves? In coffins?
Tom: Running around like regular mice. They don't see each other. They only see what they want to see. They don't know they're dead.
Jerry: How often do you see them?
Tom: All the time.

Later:
Tom: Jerry, I want to show you something.
Jerry: What, Tom?
Tom: Come a little closer.
Jerry: Okay, but Tom, we still need to talk about the dead mouse thing.
Tom: I know, but let me show you this first.
Tom takes a bite.
Jerry: Stop that, stop that --
Looks down at himself. He is whole and unbitten.
Jerry: Hey. What just happened?

*Cue dramatic music*

Jerry: Oh my god. Tom, Tom, am I dead? Oh my god. Am I really dead?
Tom: I told you. I see dead mice. Sorry kid. I got you in the last episode.

Gemnyc
08-26-2009, 05:57 PM
What if Melissa Rosenberg/Catherine Hardwicke did a Tom and Jerry.

Jerry, taking a deep breath: How long have you been seventeen?
Tom, circling: A while
Jerry, pouting: I know what you are.
Tom: Say it. Out loud.
Jerry: Cat
Close up shot of Tom taken from his good side: Are you afraid?
Jerry, biting lip: No.
Tom: Then ask me a basic question. What do we eat?
Jerry: You won't hurt me.
Tom: I am different from others of my kind. I only eat cat food, but it's like a human only eating tofu. I'm the worlds most dangerous predator to you. Everything about me invites you in--- my voice, my face, even my smell. But as if I would need any of that! As if you could outrun me, as if you could fight me off!
Jerry, leaning into Tom: You won't hurt me.
Tom, standing close to Jerry: You don't know how long I've waited for you. And so the cat fell in love with the mouse.
Jerry: What a stupid mouse.
Tom: What a sick, masochistic cat.
They stare lovingly at each other.....

dgiharris
08-27-2009, 11:55 PM
What if the creators of Highlander made a Tom and Jerry Cartoon.

Jerry McCloud, with cherry pie in hand, circles the vile Tom the Kurgen.

Tom reaches over his shoulders to his back and withdraws a massive cherry pie. "So, it is just you and me McCloud," Tom taunts in a gravely voice.

Jerry smiles, "I see Ramirez's pie-in-the-face has improved your voice, pity it was not hard enough to take off your head."

Tom laughs, "I killed that bug Ramirez and ravished his woman."

Jerry's smile fades.

Tom purrs, "Oh, I see it wasn't his woman, but yours."

Jerry cocks his arm, the pie begging to let loose, "I will have your head."

The two battle, bathing the landscape in red sticky gore, until Jerry gets the upper hand, and ducks a careless throw by Tom.

The Kurgen reaches back for another pie but he is too slow. Jerry nails him square in the face with a fresh baked super gooey plump chery pie with interlaced crust set in a criss-cross pattern.

Tom's head rolls off his shoulders, his body likewise crumples to the ground.

Jerry withdraws another pie from his scabbard and raises it above his head. "There can be only one!"

Mel....

Samantha's_Song
08-28-2009, 12:04 AM
:roll: Plagiarism at its very best!

dgiharris
03-21-2010, 09:05 AM
*bump*

just because its fun and we rarely have writing related fun in the movies forum

Mel...

I like this guy

:)