introducing a character

A question first, are you in the UK or US? The reason I ask is because of your use of single quotes. Quotations are done differently in the UK than in the US.

Back to your question.

I think I would probably introduce the character descriptively right after an opening paragraph to set up the scene. Remember, you don't have to go into detail, there's plenty of time for that later. You just want a reader to easily visualize your character and the setting he's in. You just need a line a sentence or two at this point; perhaps a simple physical description with some specific detail or two that makes it easy for a reader to "see" the character.

mreyes317 said:

I'm in the US.

Click to expand...

Then you'll want to use double quotation marks (") rather than single, unless it's a quote within a quote.

I think mreyes was using single quotes for thoughts? I'm not entirely sure, I'm confused by the text.

JoNightshade said:

I think mreyes was using single quotes for thoughts? I'm not entirely sure, I'm confused by the text.

Click to expand...

I wondered about that too. I wasn't sure either, but either way, single quotes wouldn't be used.

Is the introduction of this character at the start of the book? I will assume so, because it is it he standard way to start a book.

If so, i've been looking at openings for books recently, and a LOT of books start with a summary, i can't really explain without more information.

What kind of introduction do you want to convey? Do you want to bring in conflict, dialogue, or a passive beginning?

'I need another vacation.' He sighed as his boss went on and on about how he could have been killed as she hugged him in a tight and unbreakable embrace.

Click to expand...

"He" should be introduced by name the very first time he shows up. "He" has no antecedent.

Mind your paragraphing. And watch the showing-not-telling (e.g. Daniel...was relieved) and passive constructions (e.g. he was let go). Be aware of what's happening. Is this the boss who's hugging him? How is she going on and on if she's also silent? Don't be vague. Not "that big case," say "the Smithers case" or whatever it is. You're asking the readers to do too much work and not giving them the tools they need to do it.

What your main character does for a living and what he looks like is a lot less important that who he is and what's about to happen to him (or happening to him). You want readers to connect to him and like him right away, so show him facing a problem they can sympathize with, and doing something that will make them like him.

You want something along the lines of, "Look, here's a really interesting guy with a really interesting problem." Make the reader interested in what's going on, then once you have them hooked, you can slip in the other stuff. To do that, make it part of the story. If his job is important, show him at work doing it. Just make sure that what he's doing matters to the plot or to his character development, otherwise readers will wonder what the point is. If his job has no bearing on the plot, then you don;t need to spend much time on it.

mreyes317 said:

everyone thank you very much.
Jonightshade: the single quotations was meant to be for thoughts. This is what I was taught.

Click to expand...

Well, you can, but italics are more common.