An Issue With Time

[WistfulWriter7]

So I'm trying to write my query and all the major plot points have to do with time. For the life of me I can't figure out another word for "time," which is why I'm here. Help! =/

My query is basically blah blah time blah blah blah time then blank happens and time blah blah. Oh no!

[Darzian]

Can you post a sample or something? Else it's difficult to provide any help. I'm assuming that you're looking for alternative words for 'time.' Well, you can write the query in a way that you don't actually have to incorporate the word 'time' so frequently.

[WistfulWriter7]

Sure I can post it. Just for reference it's 80,000 words, YA, and called The Eternal Link.

After searching through the past for her mother, Catalina, a sixteen-year-old keeper of time, returns to the 31st century only to find she accidentally broke time. Now she is stuck in a world where a past full of wizards and magic are merging with the high-tech present at an alarming rate…and it’s pretty much all her fault.

Catalina puts the quest for her mother on hold to try to mend her mistake. But she can’t fix time alone. Instead, she attempts to restore the powers of an old wizard who just might be able to stop the time blend before an army of united dark magic and high-tech soldiers destroy everything she cares about to get to her immortality, an immortality she no longer has.

Time is literally running out before the world erases completely, and Catalina must choose between holding onto her hopes of a life with her real mother or becoming a human patch for time. If she succeeds, those driving the hunt for her will vanish into the past. But a restored timeline means nothing will be left of Catalina’s new friends, her mother, or the boy she has come to love but two-thousand year old memories.

[dawinsor]

Consider posting this to the query section in SYW. You'll have a good chance of getting feedback there.

[cooeedownunder]

With the time below you could put - The hours are literally ect...

Time is literally running out before the world erases completely, and Catalina must choose between holding onto her hopes of a life with her real mother or becoming a human patch for time. If she succeeds, those driving the hunt for her will vanish into the past. But a restored timeline means nothing will be left of Catalina’s new friends, her mother, or the boy she has come to love but two-thousand year old memories.

[WistfulWriter7]

Hi dawinsor, I actually wasn't looking for feedback. I've been all through query letter hell. =)

I just need suggestions for words that mean "time." I swear like there aren't any. =p

Oh and cooeedownunder (what a name!) that particular instance of "time" is the only one I am fondly attached too. =/ But thanks anyway!!!

[Libbie]

Hours (as already mentioned), chronology, timekeeper (instead of "keeper of time"), minutes, moments, progression of events, "she can't do it alone" instead of "can't fix time."

[Oddsocks]

Use the word 'temporal' to describe a stream or something to replace one of the mentions?

[James D. Macdonald]

Time-blend should be hyphenated. Timestream is its own word. Since the problem is that time itself is broken, I don't see anything wrong with saying "time" more than once. The only remaining problem (and fixing this will fix it all) is that "Keeper of Time" is an undefined term. Can you come up with something else there?

[Ken Schneider]

What program do you write with?

Corel WP, will give alternate words that mean the same thing as the word you've written, in most cases.

Epoch

[Wark]

http://thesaurus.reference.com/browse/time

[Darzian]

In addition to what people have already said,

I don't think the word is over used too much. It sort of stands out because you've bolded it but otherwise it's fairly fine since the plot revolves around time. You could change one or two of them, perhaps.

[Byakuya]

All i can think of the top of my head is the collaboration of the words past, present and future, hope that helps, since time doesn't actually exist, it is only a name created to categorise it.

I think you'll have some trouble with this, maybe try and re-write it so you only have to use time once or twice in those paragraphs =\

[t.c.laing]

Perhaps these might be helpful?

Sure I can post it. Just for reference it's 80,000 words, YA, and called The Eternal Link.

After searching through the past for her mother, Catalina, a sixteen-year-old keeper of timetimekeeper, returns to the 31st century only to find she accidentally broke timethe continuum. Now she is stuck in a world where a past full of wizards and magic are merging with the high-tech present at an alarming rate…and it’s pretty much all her fault.

Catalina puts the quest for her mother on hold to try to mend her mistake. But she can’t fix time alone. Instead, she attempts to restore the powers of an old wizard who just might be able to stop the time blending or fix or reverse the problem before an army of united dark magic and high-tech soldiers destroy everything she cares about to get to her immortality, an immortality she no longer has.

Time is literally running out before the world erases completely, and Catalina must choose between holding onto her hopes of a life with her real mother or becoming a human patch for time. If she succeeds, those driving the hunt for her will vanish into the past. But a restored timeline [timeline isn't repetitive, but chronology might also work] means nothing will be left of Catalina’s new friends, her mother, or the boy she has come to love but two-thousand year old memories.

[katiemac]

Wistful, I'm with the others who said the multiple uses of "time" are fine. The last thing you want to do in a query is get confusing, and even though you don't like the repetition you are being clear. That's the best thing, IMO.

[WistfulWriter7]

Thanks a bunch! I took out Keeper of Time in the beginning and that helped a lot. Suprisingly, it bugs me much less now. =)