My so called best friend has stopped calling me, messaging and the what not... We did not have a falling out that I know off but I feel pushed away.. They did have a bbq at their house a couple weeks back and I was not invited though other friends were... Would you take this as friendship over and just leave it alone or confront the person?
How would you deal with this?
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Neither. I would...call? Email? Whatever. Put the feelers out. Could be any number of reasons.
If one has done something to offend the other, better to get it out in the open and have it dealt with.
If that isn't possible, at least you tried. But if a friendship can be so easiliy dismissed, was it a friendship at all?
I don't count my friends as people who agree with me all the time. I count my friends as people I can argue with and still respect. And if there's a problem, we're up front about it.
If one has done something to offend the other, better to get it out in the open and have it dealt with.
If that isn't possible, at least you tried. But if a friendship can be so easiliy dismissed, was it a friendship at all?
I don't count my friends as people who agree with me all the time. I count my friends as people I can argue with and still respect. And if there's a problem, we're up front about it.
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Confront through round about manner - text or email or such. But take care what you send doesn't sound all passive agressive and what not.
Nothing happened between the two of us ... That's why I find this a bit off..... I know it's not because they are busy since they annouce their life and who they are socializing with on Facebook......
I want too but also don't want to look like a pathetic loser begging for their friendship if you know what I mean?
Maybe the other person THINKS something happened, though, and instead of talking to you, assumed it was true. I dunno. I still say speak to them about it. Could be a fuss over nothing.
True.... I mentioned once that we never hang out anymore and they said they were busy.. I just feel put off since I know that isn't true and they hang out with other people all the time..
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That you know of. Sometimes what we project and what we think we're projecting are two different things. For all you know she thought you were flirting with her boyfriend/husband or whatever, or she misinterpreted something you said.
The only way forward is to ask. If she's your best friend, she should be able to handle that.
Worst case scenario: she doesn't want to continue the friendship. At least you'll know and be able to start moving on.
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I would pretend there's nothing wrong and invite her round for coffee 'because you haven't caught up in ages.' Then it's up to her to refuse the invitation if she does have a problem.
I have a friend that does this from time to time; not because she's mad at me or anything, but it's just that she's a completely self-absorbed narcissist who has never considered the feelings of other people in her life.
She's still my friend though, and has been for 15 years, so I'll probably never get rid of her now.
I have a friend that does this from time to time; not because she's mad at me or anything, but it's just that she's a completely self-absorbed narcissist who has never considered the feelings of other people in her life.
She's still my friend though, and has been for 15 years, so I'll probably never get rid of her now.
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sparklepeaches speaks truth.
Just hey, what's up? If she evades and doesn't want to talk, you might look elsewhere...
you never know, esp. when a sig. other is involved. They make people do dumb $h!+
Just hey, what's up? If she evades and doesn't want to talk, you might look elsewhere...
you never know, esp. when a sig. other is involved. They make people do dumb $h!+
It's a he...... Just seemed weird that all of sudden we stopped hanging out... Thanks everyone for the suggestions..
Ah. Is he with a woman? Or is he gay? Because I'm thinking that the SO has a problem. And if a relationship is serious and has a future, the SO usually trumps a friend.
I disagree. I say via phone call is best, if you're going to confront at all.
Send some emails, questiony FB wall posts, texts, whatever and see if anything comes back. Maybe they're neglecting you but they don't realize they're doing it to the point of making you feel bad. If you don't get any response, i might let em go. Unless they are a BFF and worth fighting for.
Other possibilities: my partner and I had a friend couple we used to hang out with a lot. They went through various rough patches in their relationship and we got the feeling that being around us was making them feel lousy (we have a really good relationship, not trying to brag but we get along really well). They called us less and less and even though we all like each other, we decided we would amenably have a friend break-up with them because we thought we were making them feel bad.
Yet another possibility: Some friends of friends of mine have dropped out of contact because they are jealous. Like, Friend 1 has a nice house, a nice kid, a nice husband, a decent job, and Friend 2 has a jerky husband, naughty troubled kids, a messed-up house, a lousy job, and instead of being happy for a friend or even asking for advice or whatever, Friend 2 is too resentful and jealous to continue the friendship. Even if you aren't a braggy type person (which I bet you are not), if things seem to be generally going your way it could be that your friend isn't able to deal with it.
Other possibilities: my partner and I had a friend couple we used to hang out with a lot. They went through various rough patches in their relationship and we got the feeling that being around us was making them feel lousy (we have a really good relationship, not trying to brag but we get along really well). They called us less and less and even though we all like each other, we decided we would amenably have a friend break-up with them because we thought we were making them feel bad.
Yet another possibility: Some friends of friends of mine have dropped out of contact because they are jealous. Like, Friend 1 has a nice house, a nice kid, a nice husband, a decent job, and Friend 2 has a jerky husband, naughty troubled kids, a messed-up house, a lousy job, and instead of being happy for a friend or even asking for advice or whatever, Friend 2 is too resentful and jealous to continue the friendship. Even if you aren't a braggy type person (which I bet you are not), if things seem to be generally going your way it could be that your friend isn't able to deal with it.
Good one! I do think a part of it is because I'm no longer into the partying scene or going out to bars with him every weekend....
My best friend and I take breaks from each other. It's no big thing, hon. More than likely, it's nothing more than that. I say talk to them too.
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Eh.
What ever works for her, I guess. But gentle confrontation of some sort seems to be the consensus.