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View Full Version : insecurities and ideas, where to start?


pennylane
07-29-2009, 08:46 AM
Hello! First post and I'm excited to join the party. Finally found a writing message board that seems serious!

I'm seventeen and I've always been writing, even as a little kid, the content being as rich as you can possibly imagine. Talking dogs! Singing cats! I, personally, thought I was quite the genius, although, naturally, I wouldn't show my brilliant work to anyone, but always work in public, blissfully elaborating my secretiveness.

Now I'm older and, well, more self-conscious and it's becoming harder. I still write and I've discovered roleplaying. While some people might not take this seriously, it is a great way to improve your writing and it's been doing that for me. I write up to 2500 words a day, I write regularly, I feel good about myself. My characters are real, the plots are great and my writing partners don't shy away from critique or praise.

It's easy, words just flow. As soon as I sit down to write a story, the flow's gone. Dead. Writer's block that sucks all force out of me. I'm scared. I can't type. I pace around my room. At the end of the day, all I have is an empty page and a lot of anger.

I don't know why. Maybe I take it too seriously. Maybe I need a writing partner to keep me going, to get me going. I have too many ideas and don't know where to start. And it's all just too much. Which idea do I like best, which one will work best for me? And hell, what do I even want to write? Do I want drama or laughter? Romance or crime? Do it all, but how?

Maybe it's the language. English is not my mother tongue, but the language that seems more natural to me. The roleplays are German because the English ones don't seem to be so great, but all the books I read are English and German bores me. I do not really think that it's the problem. Still worth mentioning.

Why can't I do it when it can be something so easy and natural? Why do I get confused as soon as I sit down to try? And so scared when there's nothing to be scared of? How can I have so many ideas in my head, but no courage to write them down?

Thanks for your time.

C.bronco
07-29-2009, 08:49 AM
This is a fantastic place! Welcome aboard! :)

Ruth2
07-29-2009, 08:52 AM
Welcome to the party!

LOG
07-29-2009, 09:01 AM
Welcome. :)

The mods will move this to the Outwitting Writer's Block forum.
Which, if they're wondering why no-one knows about, it's because it's hidden inside another thread.

Matera the Mad
07-29-2009, 09:24 AM
Start wherever you are and keep climbing :D

Mumut
07-29-2009, 09:31 AM
Have you tought of recording your thoughts. Just brain storm into the microphone. When you're horse with the effort, play it back and note the main points. Think about them, agonize over them and when you're happy with them, make them into the skeleton of your book.

Otherwise just start writing, ignore your thoughts because they will sort themselves out and jump in when you need them. Use whichever way is more natural for you or some other way of your own contrivance. And good luck to you.

Prozyan
07-29-2009, 09:49 AM
It's easy, words just flow. As soon as I sit down to write a story, the flow's gone. Dead. Writer's block that sucks all force out of me. I'm scared. I can't type. I pace around my room. At the end of the day, all I have is an empty page and a lot of anger.

I don't know why. Maybe I take it too seriously. Maybe I need a writing partner to keep me going, to get me going. I have too many ideas and don't know where to start. And it's all just too much. Which idea do I like best, which one will work best for me? And hell, what do I even want to write? Do I want drama or laughter? Romance or crime? Do it all, but how?

Part of it is, I think, is that you are thinking about it too much. Just sit down and write. Write stream of consciousness if you have to, whatever pops in the old noggin.

What you are experiencing is a pretty common problem. Lots of people experience the breakdown of writing flow when transferring from their head to their fingers. Just keep at it.

Writers block is nothing more than a big boulder in the middle of your path. Treat it as such. Chip away at it daily and sooner or later, you'll bust it up.

sunandshadow
07-29-2009, 12:05 PM
I've also experienced roleplaying being a natural and fun way to write, then that flow drying up when I try to write by myself. My theory about this is that subconsciously I want feedback - when you roleplay, it's as if the story talks back (via the other player), sparking your own ideas, but when you are alone with a piece of paper or a word processor that just doesn't happen. Also when roleplaying there's rarely any pressure to produce actual plot, mush less a tight non-cliche one. And the other roleplayer's continued interest is like constant validation that the story is worth telling.

xhellakojimaru
07-29-2009, 12:16 PM
Take a piece of your plot, and selected characters and think solely about them for a few momments. Now begin a scenerio with those characters, it helps if you walk around to stimulate your mind,(this is how I clear my writersblock.) Now focus on your characters interactions with the situation.

But don't reiterate actions in your head like, Lizveta took a seat her eyes still at piercing focus upon the clock, Instead just let it playout like a movie. I tend to say the dialouge parts outloud to get the tone and then write down everything that happens. Its a strange tactic but it is always an easy way for me to clear my writersblock.

As well I completely understand your sitaution, I was a gifted writer when I was a child and very creative and as I got older my critism upon myself was worse than what others deamed of me. It became to a point that I was writing for other people instead of for myself. Don't take it s ohard on yourself ease your mind write simple things like an character-centric or just a small unoticable thing or even some scene for a character that not important and it will give you a bunch of ideas.

AS well another weird tatic is if your writing in a loud area turn the television down play some music thats easy and rather drawling to you enough to loosen you up and get you in the mood but not enough to distract you to where you start subconsciously writing the lyrics.

I hope it helped!

Parametric
07-29-2009, 03:09 PM
I've also experienced roleplaying being a natural and fun way to write, then that flow drying up when I try to write by myself. My theory about this is that subconsciously I want feedback - when you roleplay, it's as if the story talks back (via the other player), sparking your own ideas, but when you are alone with a piece of paper or a word processor that just doesn't happen. Also when roleplaying there's rarely any pressure to produce actual plot, mush less a tight non-cliche one. And the other roleplayer's continued interest is like constant validation that the story is worth telling.

This. I used to be big into roleplaying at one point. Tough to adjust to writing novels again. You miss the sense of community, the positive and/or constructive feedback, the feeling that people are taking an interest in your work ...

Oh wait. That's why I'm here. :)

n-v-b
07-29-2009, 03:19 PM
Welcome to the forum.

I have a similar-ish issue in that the characters from whatever I am doing at the time (at the moment my current WIP) live quite readily in my head and they almost 'act out' scenes in my head when I'm just randomly going about my business. The scenes are dramatic and brilliant and I can see exactly where they and what they do so I think I'll write that all down later but I have trouble getting it to seem quite as brilliant when I've written it.

MrWrite
07-29-2009, 06:41 PM
Hi Penny welcome to the forum! :welcome:

I can totally identify with your issues. I have a deadly dull job but it frees me up to think. While I'm working and can't write whole passages go through my mind and the words just flow. I get some great ideas this way. But often when I go to sit and write the words just don't come or they're stilted and I wonder where is that flow of words when I can't write?! Now when a line or passage comes to mind, I discreetly write it down in my notebook so it gives me something to kickstart my writing when I actually have time to write.

By the way the suggestion of a voice recorder is a good one. I have one of those. Or you can use a notebook to write down all the ideas as they come to you.

Maybe you need to try an outline to get a story straightened out. It doesn't have to be too rigid just some loose ideas of how your story might go.

Anyway, welcome to the forum and just have fun posting and don't be afraid to ask questions.

Btw thanks to the people who mentioned role play. That sounds a useful way to make sure the dialogue flows smoothly and realistically. I bet my wife and I could have some fun with that!

Phaeal
07-29-2009, 06:47 PM
First rule of writing regularly:

Remember that first drafts are crap. They are allowed to be as ungrammatical, rambling, disjointed and nonsensical as they want to be. Nobody but the writer will ever see them.

Und wilkommen! Ihr Englisch ist sehr besser als mein Deutsch (dass ist klar! ;) ) -- I wouldn't have known you weren't a native English writer if you hadn't confessed. That speaks to a real gift for language. Have the courage to write crappy first drafts and perservere.

vox
07-29-2009, 07:05 PM
...Remember that first drafts are crap. They are allowed to be as ungrammatical, rambling, disjointed and nonsensical as they want to be. Nobody but the writer will ever see them...Have the courage to write crappy first drafts and perservere.

The above is very, very good advice when you're self-conscious about your writing.

I think many people (myself included) feel that it's easier to look at something that someone else has written and fix it, rather than write something good from scratch. If you can allow yourself to get ideas on paper without judging them (maybe even go so far as to wear a goofy hat or something as you write, if it helps you feel like someone else when you're cranking out that first draft) you then have something to work with and fix up (all the while, making snarky comments about the goofy-hat wearing idiot who thought this was good writing.) :)

Stunted
07-29-2009, 07:08 PM
Maybe when you get an idea for a story, you should let it sit for a day or two before you start. I've had success with that.

lucidzfl
07-29-2009, 07:22 PM
I've always been writing

You've always been writing? ALWAYS?

Your mother's womb must look like Edward James Olmos' face!

:)

I keed, I keed!

Welcome youngster!

pennylane
07-29-2009, 07:40 PM
Thank you so much for your great advice! And the warm welcome! I'll just keep on trying, I guess. I'll try recording my thoughts, that sounds like a good idea. And I always keep a notepad with me, but usually I never jot down anything, so from now on I'm actually going to that.

Thank you again! =D Glad to be here, this seems like a great place!

cwfgal
07-29-2009, 08:09 PM
Welcome! This is a great place for writers to learn and be nurtured.

You could try some writing exercises -- not stories, to get tone your writing muscle. Take a RP character you like and take him/her out of the normal role playing environ and put them in your kitchen. Then interview them. Use your imagination. Write down your questions -- what do you really, REALLY want to know about this person? Write down what they say. Write down what they do -- mannerisms, actions, gestures, etc. Write down what they look like and sound like. Then write down what you think they aren't saying -- are they hiding something? Are they lying or not telling the whole truth about something?

Intersperse the above if you can as you do it but if it's all clumped together (one paragraph of description, one of actions, etc.) when you're done rearrange them and see if you can come up with a story that way.

Hopefully something like this can get you started on other story ideas, other characters, other settings. But most important of all is to have fun with it.


Beth

AJ Clare
07-29-2009, 08:13 PM
Also when roleplaying there's rarely any pressure to produce actual plot, mush less a tight non-cliche one. And the other roleplayer's continued interest is like constant validation that the story is worth telling.

This is so true. I used to write fanfiction and it's so easy to get addicted to the hit of feedback. Eventually I had to stop completely in order to write novels, because writing novels is pretty lonely in comparison. (Although that's what forums like these are for - taking the edge off!) It was all practise, though, so in the long run it served a purpose. All practise is good practise.

If you feel like you have a million ideas in your head and no clue which one to pick then simply write them down - have a notebook of rough ideas. Could be just a sentence-long plot summary, a full page of notes or the beginning of a draft - just as long as you get it down in some form. That way you've always got them there to jog your memory when you want to dust off that particular idea.

And don't worry about feeling insecure or nervous when you start out - everyone feels like that. Starting a novel is quite frightening at first - all those words ahead of you! But the more you write, the less words there are until the finish line.

lucidzfl
07-29-2009, 08:47 PM
This is so true. I used to write fanfiction and it's so easy to get addicted to the hit of feedback. Eventually I had to stop completely in order to write novels, because writing novels is pretty lonely in comparison. (Although that's what forums like these are for - taking the edge off!) It was all practise, though, so in the long run it served a purpose. All practise is good practise.

If you feel like you have a million ideas in your head and no clue which one to pick then simply write them down - have a notebook of rough ideas. Could be just a sentence-long plot summary, a full page of notes or the beginning of a draft - just as long as you get it down in some form. That way you've always got them there to jog your memory when you want to dust off that particular idea.

And don't worry about feeling insecure or nervous when you start out - everyone feels like that. Starting a novel is quite frightening at first - all those words ahead of you! But the more you write, the less words there are until the finish line.

You're at about the same point as I am. I've got around 14000 words on my WIP (although I've easily written over 30,000 related to it already).

Starting a novel is one thing. Looking back with 60 pages behind you really makes it set in that you're in this thing.

LuckyH
07-29-2009, 09:57 PM
If you are able to read untranslated Goethe and Schiller, try not to get bored and persist for a bit, because it will greatly help your writing, in any language, and your English is perfect.

I think it takes courage to write, and it may help just to write for yourself to start with, or maybe you should always write for yourself, a lot of writers do.