Point of view changes. Help.

If you got a request based on the older version, you might want to go ahead and leave it the way it is. If, however, you got it based on the new version, I'd say keep editing.

The problem with head-hopping is less about the confusion (though that is an issue) and more with the depth of character a writer can reach and a reader can enjoy. There are so many missed opportunities to really dig deep if we're bouncing between Jane and John's heads. For some genres this works great--especially if you're going for comedic effect, but for others, it can leave the reader drifting in a sea of characters with no one to cling to.

I would suggest that you follow your instinct on the story, and study really hard how to translate those instincts into shiny prose. If there is one thing I know, editors/agents just want a really great story they can't put down and if head-hopping works for your story, then go with it. I would definitely seek out an objective pair of eyes with real knowledge about the industry and craft if you haven't already though. Lack of confidence is easily seen in a writer's work and getting solid info you can depend on will go a long way to keeping your confidence up while you're editing.

Hope that helps!

Warmly,
Jenny

Did they request the partial ona query alone, or did they see the first five pages?

If they already a sample then I would say send it as is, if they asked for a partial- hmm- tough call- if it were me I would fix the head hopping.

Just a comment there- you said you lost most of the emotional flavor when you stayed in one character's POV- I do understand what you mean, but you can retain that flavor- I did the same thing (head hopping) in the first novel I ever wrote- when I went back and re-wrote it Ii felt the same way- UNTIL- I realized that I could get even deeper into the characters by devoting an entire chapter to them than just isolated paragraphs- it takes some time to get your head around the fact that your book will sound different to you, but in the end (I think) you will end up with a stronger manuscript-

Good Luck!

If your beta readers are happy with the situation and are not confused, are you sure it's head-hopping or are you in Omniscient and simply moving smoothly amongst your characters?

Have you posted any of this in the Share-Your-Work Forum?

I've been headhopping then. Aww, this makes me so sad.

So is the rule of thumb no headhopping at all in the story?

It's just that the main POV for the story is through the eyes of a fifteen year old girl, but there is a whole nothing thing going on before she gets involved with it, and I have chapters that are in her father's POV, and one with another important character. These chapters are vital to the story... but they can't be in the MC's POV... ahh, I'm confused.

Head-hopping is jumping from head to head or POV to POV with no warning, (like a grasshopper!) leaving the reader confused as to with which character he is supposed to be connecting.

Nothing wrong with having more than one POV in a novel. Just make sure the change is clear (New Chapter, perhaps?), necessary for the telling of the story, and doesn't come out of the blue.

Touching on what you say below, what you think may be vital chapters may not be vital at all (other than to you insofar as you as the writer need to know the background to be able to tell the story), but simply boring backstory and dull set-up.. You may be starting the story in the wrong place.

ylrebmik said:

I've been headhopping then. Aww, this makes me so sad.

So is the rule of thumb no headhopping at all in the story?

It's just that the main POV for the story is through the eyes of a fifteen year old girl, but there is a whole nothing thing going on before she gets involved with it, and I have chapters that are in her father's POV, and one with another important character. These chapters are vital to the story... but they can't be in the MC's POV... ahh, I'm confused.

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ohhhh, okay. Yeah, I have completely different chapters... and the other has a break.

I feel soo much better. Thank you

I added a paragraph since you read that post. Still feel better?

ylrebmik said:

ohhhh, okay. Yeah, I have completely different chapters... and the other has a break.

I feel soo much better. Thank you

Click to expand...

Omni is what I thought of, too.

Elie Wiesel's Night doesn't change scenes to omni-head-hop, I'm noticing. I can't say whether that's how I would have gone, but there's an example for you, in any case . And I mean I can't tell... right now it just stands out because I noticed it.

Yes.

I go back to fix paragraphs and chapters wayy too much. So I'm really trying to write the entire thing, even if its sloppy and needs a ton of workk, and then going back and fixing it all.

But I reallly like the setup I have now, so I hope it doesn't change that much. I don't want the beginning of the book to be plain and sort of boring, and these extra chapters give it some life.

I have imagined other areas that it could start at, and this just makes the most sense. ... for now at least.

Sometimes sacrifices must be made. I had a POV fall asleep in a car and had just cranked hte chapter out so that the driver thought about things for a while. No more thinking of the driver, just waking up. Some data missed, but when I tried to pass off a chapter as omni to my crit group they all said they had trouble following the POV. So, eh, life is rough.

I worry a tad at your approach.

You seem to be suggesting the story is dull and boring unless you add these opening chapters. Remember - backstory and history is exactly that - it's history. Gone. Dead. Out of the blue and about somebody we don't know -that's what is often plain and boring. Most folk are more interested in reading about a character's 'here and now' predicament and forging a connection with them before being interested in their backstory.

Still - 'your call' as they say, and I do wish you luck with it.

ylrebmik said:

Yes.

I go back to fix paragraphs and chapters wayy too much. So I'm really trying to write the entire thing, even if its sloppy and needs a ton of workk, and then going back and fixing it all.

But I reallly like the setup I have now, so I hope it doesn't change that much. I don't want the beginning of the book to be plain and sort of boring, and these extra chapters give it some life.

I have imagined other areas that it could start at, and this just makes the most sense. ... for now at least.

Click to expand...

Well I wouldn't call it background. It's what's going on in the story, it's just that the MC hasn't gotten involved with the main issues yet. So I added these chapters, there are three or four, until the MC gets involved. I think it adds to it, but again, I'm writing it and seeing how it all works together. It may very well be cut eventually if it doesn't flow right, but we'll see

Five months!! Sheesh. There was a thread recently on 'exclusive's. Can't pin it right now, but....

http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=146672&highlight=exclusive

I'm sure someone will pop in to comment on that 'exclusive' request. I can't remember the advice I read.

wannawrite said:

Okay, I went back and reread the corrected version, and it is not as bad as I thought. Maybe even better. *sigh*

So, I am going to submit the corrected version, and if the pub actually requests a full, then I am going to go hide under a hedge until the 'bad guys' go away. Seriously. This pub demands an exclusive and takes five months on average to respond, so I've plenty of time to fret about it in the future. IF they even decide to request a full.

Thanks for the advice, guys. Why is it that simply writing is SO much easier than writing well? Sucks, huh? LOL...

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Because we can just write with our heart. But when we go back and fix our writing to be great... we actually have to think.

Five months? wow. seems like a reallly long time.

So did you send the other publisher the full yet? (noticed from your sig)