Are any of you private recluses? Hermits, maybe?

I'm quite reclusive, particularly since I moved to Japan.

I have a very hard time approaching people. Most of my friends are from school, work, or the internet. Since I am neither going to school nor working, it makes it hard for me to meet people. I've never had much luck getting on with the other military spouses, and the ones in this housing area seem to think I'm a snob. They don't realize that I *can* hear them talking behind their hands when I'm out walking...they think I'm being antisocial because I'm often in my own little world when I go walking. The reason for this is that I take walks to sort out plot problems, so I'm just very focused, not trying to be a bitch...but hearing them talk about me that way doesn't make it easy to approach them to try to make friends, know what I mean?

That said, I don't mind the solitude. I rarely leave the house, spend most of my time writing, and just socialize with my husband. When we both need some human contact, we go out with some of the guys he works with. Otherwise, we're both pretty content with each other, the kitties, and using the internet to communicate with other people. (ETA: We do leave the house quite a bit to go exploring on the island, we just don't socialize much)

I guess people might think it's sad that I spend more time with people I've never met than anyone (besides my husband), but it suits me. Besides my husband, I probably spend more time with scarletpeaches than anyone else, and we've never been on the same continent. *shrug* As I said, it suits me.

Maybe it's a writer thing. I'm just happier when I spend more time alone with my characters.

askb - I barely leave the studio (apartment). I went to the MOVIES last night. Where there are lots of people. And there was no fire and the apt wasn't being fumigated. I do ok with one or two people - but more than that, even with a large group consisting of my family, I sort of tune out and just listen to what's going on, and hang out where I can be inconspicuous. I prefer animals to people.

I'm kinda a funny mix where I like to be around a lot of people but don't really need (or want even) to interact-like to stay on the edges and watch, absorb the noise, form opinions and offer sarcastic comments that I mumble aloud, whether or not anyone is within hearing distance.

My preference is to be antisocial. Funny thing is, I'm an alternative high school teacher (though, I would argue, that's not social, that's work.) I hate everyone first, then sort out the ones I hate less. =) So far my Hubby is the person I hate least and least often.

I love forums because I can interact when and how I feel like it. I can participate in a conversation without having to fight to be hear (well, most of the time) and I can ignore conversations (or people) I don't care for. This is harder in real life-- you can only smile and nod for so long. Inevitably someone feels the need to talk to the wallflower. (I wouldn't be sitting over here not talking unless I wanted to...)

Not all writers are antisocial (or otherwise reclusive). Some certainly are. Perhaps it's because we can control the world we write in (either by when or even the whole world). Perhaps it's because the writing is not us, and thereofre the conversations are not personal. Perhaps it is because we are detached, separated from the things we explore-- thus safe. Perhaps it is none of these, but a random thing. Perhaps there are just as many anti-social people in other hobbies or professions. Sometimes, we look for patterns to comfort ourselves-- even though our sample size is inadequate.

Either way, I know that I prefer the company of fiction to people, with the exception of the one person who has managed to slip past the porcupine quills.

I've been trying to change my reclusiveness. Unfortunately, I am also beginning to rediscover why I became a recluse in the first place.

Sincerely,
Gehanna

I do both, and I come up even on Extrovert vs Introvert I crave both, and it can be hard for folks to understand that I want to stay in for 3 days and write after we had so much fun painting the town red.

The internet has been wonderful for allowing me to keep up with more people than I could in 'real' life. It takes a lot of time to see everyone and my characters all those hours in a week!

I can be fairly antisocial. That being said, my day job is as a pro belly dancer so I have to be social sometimes, but I am most happy being at home. My car has been dead for several weeks (waiting for the tax refund checks so we get the engine rebuilt) and honestly, I am pretty ok with it. It just means I have to wait until my husband gets home before I can run any needed errands, but...

Yes, I am a hardcore introvert and prefer being a little reclusive.

I rank equally intro/extrovert on tests that measure such quirks, but I would have to say that I prefer being alone in a library with a good book to being at a party with people. To be honest, I don't like going out of my way to make friends, but once I do, I'm extremely loyal. I love my time alone and if I didn't force myself to get out of my own little world, I'd definitely end up being a recluse.

I don't like crowds and noise and lots of activity. It aggravates my nerves and gives me headaches. I get grouchy. I have a hard time sharing space sometimes even with my family, whom I love dearly. But with four boys and a grown man bouncing around, doing their wrestling/ballthrowing/dinosaur/action figure wars, there's a lot of noise a lot of the time, so I don't get much respite from it in any event.

I actually like people, at least one-on-one. I like talking to them, getting to know them, swapping jokes, etc. I just have a hard time being face-to-face. I've never had more than a handful of friends in real life anyway.

Hmm. So I'm not really "anti-social" per se...I'm more anti-noise and anti-chaos.

Total introvert and recluse - given the choice, I would be in bed writing and reading all day, or out in the wilderness somewhere. Not healthy, and not good for one in need of a better career, and...just bad. I was never like this when I was younger - does exposure to other people cause one to be more antisocial over time?

<-Leading to said syndrome

I'm all over the reclusive thing in spades.

tri

I would give anything to live as far away from other people as possible. I could happily never go out again. I sure as hell don't miss working.

GO THE CREATIVE RECLUSE CLUB!

I'm an introvert as well. For years, I've stayed home Mon-Fri, venturing out only on the weekends. But my darling husband started to get worried about me, so I've started writing in Starbucks, which is working out well.

The strange thing about me is that I travel a lot. I take an international trip about every 60 days or so. I can fly off to just about anywhere and be out and about and running around and having a great time. But when I'm home, I'm a hermit. I'm weird.

I'd say I can be somewhat of a recluse. I like spending time by myself, getting lost in my thoughts, which isn't to say that I'm completely antisocial. The fact is that I like people but I'm not big on small talk and I don't like crowds, both of which tend to present obstacles to meeting new people. I like to sit down with people in small groups and one on one, though. I like to get into deep conversations and to really learn more about the people I know, their history and what they think about different things and why. I relish these conversations. Unfortunately they don't come around that often. I also have a tendency to just get wrapped up in my latest story or in some other topic that's preying on my mind to the point where I don't mean to be antisocial but it happens because I'm just so interested in what I'm already doing or thinking about.

It's funny, when I was a kid everyone seemed to want me to be an extrovert. My grandmother, for example, liked to trot me out at all the family gatherings to sing or otherwise "perform". I hated it. I became an extrovert out of necessity - and sadly have become an introvert of circumstance. I'm not sure which I really am. If I had to guess, I'd say I'm a bit on the extrovert side, but I think its more Pavlovian than anything else.

One of my few remaining dreams is to live in an actual tree house some day - is that an introvert, or just geeky and weird? And like a few others posting, I do seem to prefer animals (and trees) to people when given a choice.

I'm incredibly reclusive, having expounded too much energy for so little in return, and have had it. I've been told I'm "too pushy" so I pull back a little. Then I get told I need to put myself out there, smile, and be myself. I have. I get told I'm being "too pushy". Repeat until dead.

I'm also getting to the point where I hate, hate, HATE being in crowds so I hardly ever do anything anymore. If I do, it's a kamikaze mission, hit-'n'-run to get what I need and get the hell out. If there's a movie I want to see (well, it's a PITA to get to a theatre from my place), I just wait for the DVD.

It also doesn't help that salespeople are becoming too helpful, in my book, practically tackling me by the knees when I walk into the store and immediately asking me if there was something I was looking for. I have told a couple, "I'm not sure, seeing as I've just walked into the store and haven't had a chance to look around yet." Whenever somebody does that, I can't relax because it feels like they're circling me like sharks and I can never really look for what I want, leaving a lot sooner than I'd planned.

About the only times I do enjoy going out are when I can get to my favorite coffee places so I can -- what else? -- write, provided I can get a decent table.

thethinker42 said:

I'm quite reclusive, particularly since I moved to Japan.

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I'm in a similar situation as an expat in Taiwan. I do meet people at work, but the thing is that most of the Taiwanese at my job live in the town where our office is, while most expats live in Taipei, 40 minutes or so away. Our company is Dutch, so that's where most of the other expats are from. We do socialize some with them, but since I only speak a little Dutch and my husband even less (we lived there one year - it's a very easy language compared to Mandarin!) we end up being a little out of it in groups. Of course they all speak English fluently, but you can't always be asking a whole group to switch for you.

We've had little success in meeting people here outside work. In the Netherlands it was easier, because we're rowers. For years at home the rowing club was our main social outlet, and that fits well with the way people there socialize. In Taiwan, people seem mostly to socialize with coworkers or family.

I'm an complete introvert. It's not that I don't like people. In fact, I quite enjoy spending time with them when I'm in the mood for it. I've just come to the conclusion that I need ALOT more alone time than the average person. Unfortunately, whenever I tell my friends I need space, they always decide I must be upset about something.

I am far more of a recluse here in the states than I was while living overseas in South Africa. Which is rather odd when you think about it, being that I am an American but I feel more at home there and much more accepted among the South Africans that I do here.

There's way to much pressure in my opinion to fit a certain mold in the states and if you change out of that mold or never fit it in the first place life can become rather uncomfortable in social settings.

I go out in spurts. Sometimes I enjoy it more than other times. I prefer the cooler months to be out and about.

Been a quiet man all my adult life, but since retiring, have abandoned the public almost totally. My profession, that of a pilot, gave me the opportunity to avoid interacting with people most of the time and I loved it. Even as a kid, I loved getting on my horse and riding by myself for hours on end. Now I don't have to put up with anyone but my wife and the occasional family visitor. Suits me just fine.

I'm a big ole hermit and hardly ever leave the house nowadays.

People think I'm weird. They're right.

I hate people.

scarletpeaches said:

I hate people.

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Me too. Rat bastards, all of them.

Except the ones on my computer. <3

Snerk, SHINGers unite!


Seriously, most people suck.