8 line bio

[Prawn]

This might belong in SYW, but since it isn't really MW in a fiction sense, I thought I'd post it here. My agent has asked for an 8 line bio. Is this punchy enough?

Travel has always inspired my writing. Reading a good book is like a trip to a foreign country. I have traveled to more than thirty countries, and each trip is a story all its own. I have been mugged in Marseilles, arrested in Ireland, and lived in a car for months while traveling the United States. I traveled to the Middle East to do research for my PhD in Linguistics and found myself in the middle of the thorniest conflict of modern times. The passionate people I met, both Arab and Israeli, inspired me to write the Inspector Akiva novels. In addition to writing, I am a teacher. I have taught my daughters, aged four and six, to speak four different languages, but they won’t obey me in any of them.

[WildScribe]

It seems very bland to me. I'm sorry...

Also, does your editor want it in first or third person? I find third generally more interesting/punchier, and also much more common.

[Arkie]

I've never been inspired to read a book based on the author's bio, until now. I think Inspector Akiva could prove to be very interesting.

[NeuroFizz]

I may be way off base with this but to me, an author bio is where things like education and credential-related experiences (such as jobs and that sort of thing) are provided. I don't know if it's a place for a prose-like listing of personal experiences and travels. For example, you mention Ph.D. studies, but you don't indicate if you have that Ph.D. degree or your home institution (which is something that should go in an author bio). This may be the scientist in me, but I have been led to believe an author bio should be a no nonsense presentation of the author's qualifications, education-wise and writing-wise. This is something your agent will present to editors along with your project. Is what you've posted what you want those editors to see concerning your backgound? It so, go with it, and if your agent likes it, that's all that matters.

[Birol]

Travel has always inspired my writing. Reading a good book is like a trip to a foreign country. I have traveled to more than thirty countries, and each trip is a story all its own. I have been mugged in Marseilles, arrested in Ireland, and lived in a car for months while traveling the United States. I traveled to the Middle East to do research for my PhD in Linguistics and found myself in the middle of the thorniest conflict of modern times. The passionate people I met, both Arab and Israeli, inspired me to write the Inspector Akiva novels. In addition to writing, I am a teacher. I have taught my daughters, aged four and six, to speak four different languages, but they won’t obey me in any of them.

Maybe something like this:

Whether being mugged in Marseilles, arrested in Ireland, or living in his car during a cross-country tour of the United States, travel has always inspired Prawn's writing. He was inspired to write the Inspector Akiva novels when he found himself in the middle of the Arab-Israeli conflict while conducting researching in the Middle East for his PhD in Linguistics. Their passion became his inspiration. He now strives to inspire passion in his own students and in his two daughters, who refuse to listen to him in any language.

[Prawn]

I thought an author bio was like what you see in the back of books where the author tells about himself in an interesting, semi-humorous way. I don't want it to sound like a resume by talking about degrees too much.

First person seems like a no-no, and Birol, did a great job making it stronger, but now it is six lines instead of eight, so I'll need to add a bit. I could write all day about Akiva, but writing about myself is somehow tricker!

[Birol]

I tend to make things shorter.

[Raphee]

I actually liked your bio, it shows personality as well as writing flair. The change to 3rd person is important.

[NeuroFizz]

Make sure your agent wants a jacket-type author bio rather than a more accomplishment-based author bio. What goes on the book jacket might be very different than what the agent wants/needs to try to sell a manuscript.

[Gillhoughly]

Cut the slow start.

Make it third person.

_________ has been mugged in Marseilles, arrested in Ireland, and lived in a car for months while traveling the United States. He researched his PhD in the Middle East during one of the thorniest conflict of modern times and _____ (add something amusing here to balance the flow). Thanks to his careful tutelage, his daughters speak four different languages, but won't obey him in any of them.

Less is more.

[Danthia]

Until you mentioned the book, I thought you were a travel writer. Since I don't read travel books, I never would have gotten to your book had I come across this bio somewhere (like in an interview, conference or book fair brochure, etc).

[Prawn]

Okay, thanks for the tips everyone. I talk about travel because my book is set in the Middle East and conveying a sense of place is crucial. Here's a 3rd person version:

Whether being mugged in Marseilles, arrested in Ireland, crossing Mongolia on the trans-Siberian railway, or living in his car for months while touring the United States, travel has always inspired Prawn. He lives in the United States, but has traveled to more than 30 countries. The idea for the Inspector Akiva novels came to him when he was in the Middle East, interviewing Palestinians and Israelis for his PhD dissertation in Linguistics. He now strives to inspire a passion for travel in his own daughters, who speak four languages, but won’t mind him in any of them.

Thanks again for the input!

[RainbowDragon]

I think it's intriguing in all its incarnations, though I agree the first posted draft gave me the impression of a travel writer's bio also.

Don't know if you're done revising, but here's my 2 cents:

Whether crossing Mongolia on the trans-Siberian railway or living in his car for months while touring his native United States, despite being mugged in Marseilles and arrested in Ireland, travel has always inspired Prawn. He has visited over 30 countries. The idea for the Inspector Akiva novels came to him when he was in the Middle East, interviewing Palestinians and Israelis for his PhD dissertation in Linguistics. He now strives to inspire a passion for travel in his own daughters, who speak four languages but won’t listen to him in any of them.

*

Seems like you were steering away from the use of the word "obey" at the end because of its negative connotations. The double meaning of "mind" (as in "to be bothered by") makes that tricky as well. I rearranged the first part so that the stakes escalate and the momentum carries the reader through the mid-section to the end. Maybe.

Good luck!!

[RainbowDragon]

Also you might add a brief bit about what triggered the inspiration for the novels -- was it some common thread among the interviews, or some particular comment or event?

[Kathleen42]

Could you ask your agent for a sample and points he/she needs covered (just for clarification)?

I suspect it should be third person. Gotta say, though, I am rather intrigued (in all of its incarnations).

[hammerklavier]

"refuse to listen" was better.

[Prawn]

Could you ask your agent for a sample.

I am trying to appear professional (no snickers, please), so I would rather give it my best shot, and then if he doesn't like it, he can provide direction.

Gillhoughly, I missed your excellent revision the first time. Thanks!

Less is more.
I agree completely, but I was asked for an 8 line bio. Let's see what I can do here with your able assistance:

Prawn has been mugged in Marseilles, arrested in Ireland, crossed Mongolia on the trans-Siberian Railway, and lived in a car for months while traveling the United States. The idea for Inspector Akiva came to him when he was in the Middle East, interviewing Palestinians and Israelis for his PhD dissertation in Linguistics. Thanks to his careful tutelage, his daughters speak four different languages, but won't obey him in any of them.


Still too short. I don't really want to mention my job or where I live. What's missing?

[Gillhoughly]

Eight lines is VERY subjective. Unless the agent specified the width of the page, font, and font size, you've got more than enough, especially for a submission.

The agent should have given you a word count. 25-50-75 words is good. It's what I ask for from writers.

If you have one, include your website on the book at the end but only after it's published.

Again, less is more!

[Prawn]

Thanks, Gillhoughly.

I'll send it to him and he can ask for more if he wants it.

Thanks for your time everybody!