When's the last time you wrote a Limerick?

[Eponaleah]

Here's my attempt:

The witch doctor promised a guarantee
He said he’d curse anything that I see
I take cash or debit,
But no cards of credit
I just cursed Visa and AIG

Now you have a go!

[Eponaleah]

Oh, come on... Nobody wants to play?

[Mr. Anonymous]

Never written one before.

A great water fall stands before me.
And all I can think of is how much I want to pee.
But there's no bathroom near
I'm about to burst - oh dear!
That's what I get for drinking so much tea.

[Eponaleah]

Thanks for playing Mr. Anon. I had never written one before either, but it's fun to try.

[Feiss]

This should probably be moved out of Poetry crit, and into the main "writing poetry" forum.

[dclary]

I don't rightly recall the last time
I tried making so lightly of rhyme
Of course I admit
My rhyming is shit
But in free-verse I am quite sublime.

[Dichroic]

This limerick is in the wrong forum,
Which is why most have ignored'em.
Poet games go up top
Where folks see them and pop
In to try it; up there you'll get quorum.

[Feiss]

This limerick is in the wrong forum,
Which is why most have ignored'em.
Poet games go up top
Where folks see them and pop
In to try it; up there you'll get quorum.


why is it that I
must always use the wrong form
in these games we play?

[Eponaleah]

This limerick is in the wrong forum,
Which is why most have ignored'em.
Poet games go up top
Where folks see them and pop
In to try it; up there you'll get quorum.


Thank you for pointing this out
I've made a mistake there's no doubt
I'll take better care
Won't just post anywhere
Though I still get lost when I wander about

[P.H.Delarran]

there once was a newbie with verse
who jumped in recruitment at first
the replies were so kind
that she started to find
her time here would soon be immersed

[poetinahat]

The limerick thread has been moved
And responses will soon be improved
So Eponaleah
need no longer feah.
Our feathers, once ruffled, are smooved.

[dgrintalis]

There once was a girl named Bella
who fell in love with a sparkly fella
there was a big fight
'cause he watched her at night
and this is all I can tell ya.

[Duke]

There once was a gal from Nantucket
Whose corn crop took farmers to shuck it.
Grain gathered by the men
Was stored in a big bin
For loaders and shippers to truck it.

[Dichroic]

A really fun thing to do is to tell any five-year-old a limerick beginning with "There once was a man from Nantucket" (there are lots of clean versions) just to watch their parents' faces as you recite the first line.

[Duke]

A really fun thing to do is to tell any five-year-old a limerick beginning with "There once was a man from Nantucket" (there are lots of clean versions) just to watch their parents' faces as you recite the first line.

That would be funny -- but not me! I can get into enough trouble without trying. Those clean Nantucket limericks are probably rare, since perhaps only a sparse few words sound like 'bucket.' And I'm never good at working them into regular conversation.

[Duke]

One warm-hearted gal in Nebraska
Succeeded attempting to mask a
Slight wince when she told
How winters were cold
But hardly severe as Alaska.

[KaysenParkerPlath]

I went to the ma-tournament today,
One knocker-up took my breath away,
She bent and contorted,
consequently aborted,
She said she was leavin' anyway.

[Rivana]

There once was fella named Tober,
who never could stay clean and sober.
He went to the park,
a smoke made a spark
and that bit is all that they told her.

[Lady Cat]

Oh no, please not this again!
The weather is really insane
It’s April you know
So it surely can’t snow
It must be some kind of white rain!

[Duke]

Encountering another fat toad,
One signaled their fraternity code.
They lunched on fresh bugs,
Shared gossip, gave hugs,
Then continued their hops down the road.

[donroc]

My favorite is the Farta from Sparta.

This is my homage to Twain's 1601.

Lord Essex passed sulphuric gloom
In Elizabeth's crowded room.
"Was it you, my young page?"
"Nay, my bowels are underage.
'Twas the man who would be your groom."