TSA - Mule Skinners Need Background Checks, Too

[Don]

Ever-diligent, the TSA has discovered another risk to public safety and stepped in to demand background checks and biometric credentials from seasonal workers who dress in colonial garb and lead mules along a canal.

Officials at Hugh Moore Historical Park are perplexed.

We have one boat. It's pulled by two mules. On a good day they might go 2 miles per hour," said Sarah B. Hays, the park's director of operations.

The park's two-mile canal does not pass any military bases, nuclear power plants or other sensitive facilities. And, park officials say, the mules could be considered weapons of mass destruction only if they were aimed at something resembling food.

This is in addition to Coast Guard credentials already in place to allow operation of the canal boats.

Park officials say four or five park employees typically have Coast Guard credentials to operate the canal boat, and the extra expense of a TWIC card, which is at least an extra $100 on top of fees for Coast Guard credentials, is unwelcome.

The park asked their Representative to step in and see if something could be worked out. The TSA reacted in kind, digging in their heels like the mules that concerned them.

"We encourage the crew members... who possess Coast Guard mariner credentials to obtain a TWIC at their earliest convenience to comply with these requirements and not risk suspension or revocation of their other credentials," the TSA wrote.

Now it's been escalated to Homeland Security Secretary Janet Napolitano to resolve.

Could the Marx Brothers in their wildest dreams have concocted the scripts we see surfacing daily from FedGov?

[AnneMarble]

I was going to ask "We still have mule skinners?!"

Actually, if you've seen any of the old Gunsmoke episodes with mule skinners, those guys should could be crazy. Maybe they're worried one of them will start shooting up Dodge City.
:roll:

[cethklein]

Ok, in the extreme, I can see the point here.






Ok, nevermind, no I can't. This is asinine.

[StephanieFox]

Have they done background checks on the mules? I've heard that they tend toward communist thinking. But, I thought that they were peaceniks.

[darkprincealain]

How many people does a canal boat fit?

[robeiae]

Just one. But it's roomy.

[Soccer Mom]

Ok, nevermind, no I can't. This is asinine.

You mean assinine. Right? ;)


Have they done background checks on the mules? I've heard that they tend toward communist thinking. But, I thought that they were peaceniks.

Like, peace, love, and alfalfa, man? IDK. These guys look kinda dangerous to me. Better check them out.

http://images.icanhascheezburger.com/completestore/2008/6/16/wecanhazka128581365490596636.jpg

[Williebee]

Just one. But it's roomy.

Nice. :) In my head I'm hearing Lyle Lovett's "If I Had a Boat" right now.

[Plot Device]

My conspiracy theorist friends would say it's a covert plan to over-regulate the canal industry with the end-goal of driving it into extinction. (Or in this case, to prevent it from being revived out of extinction.)

[Zoombie]

...why do you listen to them, Plot?

Other than cheap laughs?

A conspiracy theory requires the government to, ya know...be smart enough to THINK UP, let alone ACCOMPLISH a conspiracy. The trickist and sneakiest President I know of, Tricky Dick, couldn't even search a hotel room without being found out and impeached!

Things like this just put more proof onto my longstanding position of: The government are a bunch of f***ing idiots. And I'm not sure which would be worse. Incompetence...or evil conspiracies.

[Plot Device]

...why do you listen to them, Plot?

Other than cheap laughs?

A conspiracy theory requires the government to, ya know...be smart enough to THINK UP, let alone ACCOMPLISH a conspiracy. The trickist and sneakiest President I know of, Tricky Dick, couldn't even search a hotel room without being found out and impeached!

Things like this just put more proof onto my longstanding position of: The government are a bunch of f***ing idiots. And I'm not sure which would be worse. Incompetence...or evil conspiracies.

I am far more inclined to believe our government is full of gross incompetence than evil conspiracies.

Why do I listen to these guys? I don't. But I do monitor them quite intently for three reasons:

1) I'm a Peak Oiler, so I am constantly confronted with the overlap between peaksters and a dozen different conspiracy theory camps (9/11 conspiracies, New World Order, North American Union, etc).

2) I am likewise confronted with people who claim Peak Oil is a deliberately manufactured myth and that abiotic oil is the real truth (I say abiotic oil is bullshit). The abiotic people tend to have a lot of overlap with the Global Warming doubters as well --the kind of Global Warming doubters who likewise say GW it's a premeditated lie.

3) There is a LOT of good sci-fi fodder in their ranks.

I also hop into lurk mode at a Nazi message forum (http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=121220&highlight=feather) from time to time just to keep tabs on the opinions of that whole sub-sub-sector of humanity as well. But that doesn't mean I'm a follower of Adolf Hitler. I mean hey! --if the Southern Poverty Law Center can monitor Klan web sites as neo-Nazi web sites, can't I also monitor with my own capacity for intelligence and scrutiny the information from web sites and podcasts that I of course disagree with, yet whose philosophies are constantly bombarding me anyway?

That brings me to:

4) No cheap laughs, just stern soberness.

[Zoombie]

Those are all good reasons!

Specially the last one...

Can I steal your notes?

[Plot Device]

Those are all good reasons!

Specially the last one...

Can I steal your notes?


All my notes so far are mental. So, if you've access to a mind-reading machine, have at it.

[Zoombie]

Right.

No mind reading here.

Nope.

None at all.

...

Absolutely none.

Ahem.

[Plot Device]

Right.

No mind reading here.

Nope.

None at all.

...

Absolutely none.

Ahem.

That's not what the conspiracy theorists say. ;)

http://myweb.cableone.net/mtilton/Norseen.htm

[Zoombie]

Yeah, except my mind reading device was built in the private sector, so it actually works and was completed on a scheduled without going 9 billion dollars over budget.

[Plot Device]

Yeah, except my mind reading device was built in the private sector, so it actually works and was completed on a scheduled without going 9 billion dollars over budget.


The government and the military only PRETEND to go over budget. The truth is that they complete lots of projects on time and under budget, and then they redirect the excess for Black Ops.




Yes, I'm joking. :D

[Zoombie]

Dude, I *wish* the Government was that intelligent...