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These are two paragraphs from The Great Gatsby, by F. Scott Fitzgerald. Mild spoilers.
POV: first person. Does it bother you that the narrator, Nick Carraway, seems to know what Wilson and his wife Myrtle are thinking? How could he know that Myrtle had no consciousness of being observed? We could assume that Nick didn't know anything, these are just his own conclusions about what they were thinking and they might very well be wrong, but I still don't like the way it was written. I took from my bookcase some other novels written in first person and read random passages from them. Sometimes the narrator tells what other characters are feeling or thinking, but never this precisely. Usually it's much more subtle, involving an adverb or adjective, such as 'Polio was delighted.' or 'This made Livy really furious.' (both from I, Claudius) or 'Holmes cast a swift glance of triumph at me.' (from The Hound of the Baskervilles). None of these seem like telepathy.
By the way, I think The Great Gatsby is a very good book.
The relentless beating heat was beginning to confuse me and I had a bad moment there before I realized that so far [Wilson's] suspicions hadn’t alighted on Tom. He had discovered that Myrtle had some sort of life apart from him in another world, and the shock had made him physically sick.
In one of the windows over the garage the curtains had been moved aside a little, and Myrtle Wilson was peering down at the car. So engrossed was she that she had no consciousness of being observed, and one emotion after another crept into her face like objects into a slowly developing picture.
POV: first person. Does it bother you that the narrator, Nick Carraway, seems to know what Wilson and his wife Myrtle are thinking? How could he know that Myrtle had no consciousness of being observed? We could assume that Nick didn't know anything, these are just his own conclusions about what they were thinking and they might very well be wrong, but I still don't like the way it was written. I took from my bookcase some other novels written in first person and read random passages from them. Sometimes the narrator tells what other characters are feeling or thinking, but never this precisely. Usually it's much more subtle, involving an adverb or adjective, such as 'Polio was delighted.' or 'This made Livy really furious.' (both from I, Claudius) or 'Holmes cast a swift glance of triumph at me.' (from The Hound of the Baskervilles). None of these seem like telepathy.
By the way, I think The Great Gatsby is a very good book.