View Full Version : Terrible First Drafts

01-25-2009, 12:27 AM
The aim of this game is to take a verse of well-known poetry and change it to what the first draft looked like.


The Road Less Travelled by Robert Frost

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveller, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
Stubbed my toe, let out an oath;

01-25-2009, 12:34 AM
Because I could not stop for Death
He kindly stopped for me
The carriage held but just Ourselves
But first I had to pee

(Sorry, Emily, wherever you are.)

01-25-2009, 12:38 AM
Oh, I like this.

A Dream Within A Dream - Poe

Take this kiss upon the hand!
And, in parting from this land,
For thus much I take a stand--
You are not wrong, who deem
That my nights are meant to dream,
Of the women I pass each day,
Their figures I notice and store away,
For a later vision to include each one,
When all in my home has gone.
The love that I make and the subsequent cream,
Is but the product of a dream.

Wow, that's gross. I am good at crapping things up.

01-25-2009, 01:27 AM
Brown Penny
by William Butler Yeats

I whispered, 'I am too young,'
And then, 'I am old enough';
Wherefore I threw a penny
To find out if I might love.
'Go and love, go and love, young man,
If the lady be young and fair.'
Yikes! I screamed and ran
A talking penny!

01-25-2009, 02:00 AM
The caged bird sings
with a fearful trill
of things unknown
but longed for still
and his tune is heard
by just his owner
who one week "forgets" to feed him
so he never sang again.
Dang bird should have shut up.

A travesty, Miss Angelou! A travesty!

01-25-2009, 02:20 AM
Once upon the internet, while I timewaste - oh, regret!
Over many a trolled and derailed thread of Absolute Write,
While I scribbled my bestseller, suddenly there came a fella,
Muscled, tattooed, handsome fella, made me wanna take a bite.
"Tis only Colin Farrell," I whispered, "And he is a bit of all right." -
And I want to take a bite.'

Stripe me filthy, I would do him, even more than handsome Joe-quin
No, I swear, I ain't not jokin', I would love to spend the night.
Eagerly I bade him near me, swore this Colin need not fear me,
I promised not to bind or poke him, poke him or give him the blight.
For this rare and handsome Colin, whom the angels made so right,
I would keep him here tonight.

'Be your only word agreement!' Colin Farrell bid and he meant,
"Let's feckin' party, coke and JD, and an orgy, all the night!
"Leave no evidence to be found that we had each other bedbound;
Just leave my butt alone you whorehound, and you'll have me here all night!"
Oh Colin, take thyself into the bedroom, drop thy clothes upon the floor!"
Quoth the Farrell, "Christing shite!"

01-25-2009, 02:57 AM
The Conqueror Worm
by Eddie Poe

Lo! 'tis a gala night
Within the lonesome latter years.
An angel throng, bewinged, bedight
In veils, and drowned in tears,
Sit in a theatre to see
A play of hopes and fears
While the orchestra breathes fitfully
We decided to go get a beer

01-25-2009, 01:09 PM
For Burns Night:

O my Luve's like a red, red rose,
That's newly sprung in June:
O my Luve's like the melodie,
And a face like Daniel Boone.

02-09-2009, 02:02 PM
How do I love thee? Let me count the stuff.
I love thee to the odds and ends and dregs
My toes can reach, when feelings in my legs
Get tingly 'cause I'm dancing in the buff.
I love thee to the surface of itchy fluff
That floats around, by sun and candlelight.
I love thee big-time, as men go for broke;
I love thee hotly, as they have a smoke.
I love thee with a passion like those clowns
In Shakespeare's "Hamlet" when Ophelia drowns.
I love thee with a love that's pure
As laundry soap. I love thee like a food
I've longed for all my life! And one thing's sure--
I shall but love thee better in the nude.


02-09-2009, 04:01 PM
Will I compare you to a summer date?
You are certainly hotter than that:
Strong winds sometimes blow your hair about,
So it ends up being all too short a date:
Sometimes the sun gets in my eyes,
And other times it's cloudy and the view dims;
And every time we visit a fair you somehow decline,
By chance it's the same day my beard is untrimm'd;
But in summer my smile shall not fade
Nor will I lose possession of my loose teeth;
Nor shall I brag about what we did in the shade,
When a secret place of mine always growest:
So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long live summer dates, and you and Me.

02-10-2009, 06:11 PM
But soft, what light through yonder window breaks -
Put on some clothes, for Heaven Sakes!

02-10-2009, 07:18 PM
Sara Lee
by Edgar Allen Poe

It was many a fiscal year ago,
In a factory by the sea,
That a maiden there worked whom you may know
By the name of Sara Lee; -
And this maiden she worked with no other thought
Than to bake and be paid by me.

I was hired and she was hired
In this factory by the sea,
And we cooked on a stove that was more than a stove -
I and my Sara Lee -
With a stove that the wealthy chefs at Pepperidge
Coveted her and me.

And this was the reason that, long ago,
In this factory by the sea,
A hailstone fell out of a cloud, chilling
My beautiful Sara Lee;
So that some high-handed businessmen came
And stole her away from me,
To shut her up in a freezer,
In this factory by the sea.

Those devils, as half their bakeries were failing,
Were envying her and me -
Yes! - that was the reason (as all men know,
in this factory by the sea)
That the fiends came out of the crowd that night,
Chilling and selling my Sara Lee.

But our cake it was better by far than the cake
Of those who were bolder than we-
Of many far sleazier than we -
And Angel cake from Heaven above
Nor Devil's food down under the sea
Can ever deliver the moistness
Of the beautiful Sara Lee.

02-10-2009, 07:24 PM
To his Coy Mistress
By Andrew Marvel

Had we but world enough, and time,
This coyness, lady, were no crime.
We would sit down and I'd think of a way
To get you on the grass for a lay;
Maybe we could do the cha-cha
and you'd show me your ta-tas.