Worst thing to say

"Syphilitics need love too."

"My herpes outbreaks are mostly under control."

"Don't worry about my cough, I just have a touch of Ebola."

"Wanna see the nude photos I took of my last girlfriend? I put them on my blog."

"You look just like my inflatable girlfriend."

"Has anybody ever told you that you bear a striking resemblance to a herring?"

"You look JUST like my 15 year old daughter."

No, I'm NOT making that one up...and yes, it WAS followed by an invitation to "go someplace more private".

"I like an old-fashioned girl, one that likes to cook and do the laundry and doesn't talk during football games . . . "

Other thoughts:

"So, can we wrap this up? I'm meeting someone else in a couple of hours, and I'd like to freshen up first."

*rude noise* "Oh. Pardon me. Dysentery. Happens once in a while."

"So, like, are you like Edward Cullen? Because really, he's the only one good enough for me."

My last (gf) was ssssssssoooooooo perfect, no one will ever measure that ideal...

Meeting you, I don't know why I even bother with this...

I have a stalker...

I AM a stalker...

I think all girls should know their place...

I am not just this pretty face ya know, I am sure I have SOME flaws....

I have a house, a boat, 3 cars, vacation property, money, anyone would be LUCKY to have ME....

I think thinking is overrated...

The last book I read was in grade school...

Let's cut to the chase and see if we are compatible - where's the nearest hotel...

I like you, but you are not someone I could love - let's call it a night...

I am looking for love and babies - NOW...

I could go on, but really - it pains me to remember those lines...

yeah, i heard them. blind dates? suck on many levels.

But, I have had some great ones that produced great friendships though.

Christine

"You know, a good plastic surgeon could remove that for you..."

"These are my kids, Charlie and Lizzie. Oh, and that's the dog, Hannibal."

"You wouldn't believe what I looked like before the operation."

"After dinner, what do you say about coming over to my place and letting me show you my collection of shrunken heads and other body parts?"

"Don't worry, I have a thing for women with big butts."

"Your little sister is awfully cute. Is she seeing anyone?"

"I get a tremendous thrill from reading certain authors--like, for example, de Sade."

"I hope you don't mind me asking, but did you recently have a sex change?"

I can't sleep with you until I get the all-clear from the clinic but I can give you plenty of references to look at in the meantime...

"We're going Dutch, right? Let's see, dinner was $38.72 . . . parking was $4 . . . gas was about $1.68 . . . I had to had my suit pressed--that was $6.50 . . . the tip will come to about $3.00 . . . I only had one glass of wine, and you had two, so that's another $2.99 you owe me . . . "

"I still live with mom."

"Have you ever considered breast enlargement?"