I'm Quitting Writing...

[scheherazade]

...Not really, but sometimes when I'm feeling down on myself I convince myself I'm going to quit writing. It's too hard to keep chugging away at my novel. No one's going to read it anyway. I'm a terrible writer. I'm wasting my time when I could be focusing on developing my social life or building my career or starting a family or whatever.

I know that this is irrational, but the idea comes to mind a lot when I'm feeling bad. Does anyone else ever feel this urge to quit? What do you do to deal with it? Do you try to rationalize yourself out of it? Or do you just give in for a short time, stop writing and let yourself rejuvenate, until you can't not write? Or...some other strategy?

[scarletpeaches]

Short answer? No, never. I've never considered quitting, not for a moment.

Suppose I should quit this thread pronto, then. :D

[Cybernaught]

I feel like that every once in a while, scheherazade. The only thing that keeps me going is my love for storytelling and the fact that life would be meaningless to me without writing. Hang in there. :Hug2:

[Chumplet]

Take a break. You'll pick it up again.

[icerose]

This is what I love to do, if it never goes anywhere, so what? It's what I want to do, no waste in that.

[Clair Dickson]

Sometimes I feel this way-- up to the quitting part. I know me well enough to know I'll never not write. I have too many stories, characters, and ideas to stop. My head would explode. But sometimes it's hard to keep going when it feels like I'm just writing junk and no one would publish me anyway and so on. But I can't quit.

[chevbrock]

I'm a crappy painter. I can't even draw, so I have to trace other people's artwork and colour that in. But I still do it, even if it isn't very good. Because I enjoy it. I keep it in a book and no one has to be exposed to the horror of it.

I look at writing the same way. It's probably shit - but I like it. :)

[LisaHy]

I used to feel like this, but I think I'm at a point where I'm very comfortable with my writing and don't consciously think I'll never write again.

But, having said that, after I've finished a big project, like a novel (which I've done just recently), I occasionally hit a low where I have absolutely no inspiration to write. I just can't get my brain into gear. I have stories I'm dying to tell but something blocks me from starting them. If I force myself, what comes out is complete and utter crap. I showed two lines of something I'd forced to a friend and he was horrified. That's when I get a feeling like I'll never be able to write again, but not because I want to quit.

Thankfully, last night, while reading real life ghost stories, I found the inspiration to start a short story. Consequently, I scared the begeebers out of myself and couldn't sleep for hours... But to be writing again, I'm willing to put up with a case of the scaredy cats.

Best of luck with getting over this funk. You'll make it. :Thumbs:

Cheers, Lisa.

[thethinker42]

Never. I've had times when I thought I sucked, when I thought "I'll never make anything of myself doing this", etc, but quitting has never been an option. Even if the entire publishing industry disappeared and all I could do was write on a piece of tree bark with blood from my own finger for my own amusement...I'd still write. Those voices in my head would drive me batty if I didn't write down what they were saying.

[KTC]

I write because I want to write. I don't have issues with that desire.

[tehuti88]

I feel like quitting writing all the time (since I write to connect to people, and that isn't working), but I honestly have NOTHING else to do with my time or life. It's not like I have friends or a job or family or social obligations to attend to. And I adore my characters and storylines. They're the only thing I have to fill up my time.

So even though it brings me so much frustration and heartache, I don't think I'd ever quit writing. *shrug*

[Maryn]

I quit a couple of years ago. I lack the confidence in my own work to market it; it's a huge act of courage for me to submit anywhere.

But when I told our daughter I was quitting, she said something that proves how smart she is. "Well, you can quit submitting if you want, but why quit writing when you love it? Isn't that a perfectly good reason to do it?"

Maryn, who's got herself one smart kid (well, two, actually)

[Norman D Gutter]

Yes, I frequently have the desire to quit writing. I'm struggling with that right now.

On this bout of the feeling, I decided my specific problem is not with writing but with publishing. Writing is fun; seeking publication is a drag. So I decided to quit seeking publication, but keep writing, albeit at a slower pace. It may be a year or two before I will worry about getting anything published, but I will still write during that time.

I also took time to lay all new writing aside and get caught up on household chores, financial management, budgeting, and typing old writing still in steno books. I'm writing almost nothing new right now, and probably won't write much new till after the first of the year. By that time I will have caught up on typing; I will have all my drafts of various things properly filed; the house will be in good shape and my financial house will be in order. Then, I will have time to write new material, and will hopefully feel free of mental encumberances to do so.

One thing I am doing for new writing during this time is to capture new ideas. Several items for new books, poems, articles have come to mind. If they dwell there awhile, I make sure I capture them on paper with enough description so that they would still make sense in a couple of years and stick them in my Ideas notebook, allowing them to await their turn in the gray cells whenever that should occur.

[Karen Duvall]

...Not really, but sometimes when I'm feeling down on myself I convince myself I'm going to quit writing. It's too hard to keep chugging away at my novel. No one's going to read it anyway. I'm a terrible writer. I'm wasting my time when I could be focusing on developing my social life or building my career or starting a family or whatever.

I know that this is irrational, but the idea comes to mind a lot when I'm feeling bad. Does anyone else ever feel this urge to quit? What do you do to deal with it? Do you try to rationalize yourself out of it? Or do you just give in for a short time, stop writing and let yourself rejuvenate, until you can't not write? Or...some other strategy?

Absolutely! And it's perfectly normal to feel that way. Writing is an emotional endeavor, so rejection and criticism have a way of beating us down and our survival instinct kicks in. You start thinking that once you stop beating your head against the wall, it won't hurt anymore. :D

But the feeling passes. Take a break. Switch genres. Enter contests. Do a variety of other things writers do to feed their writing obsession.

I've taken numerous breaks over the years, and always came back at it with a fresh perspective, re-energized, and the quality of my writing just keeps getting better.

Hang in there! Things will turn around. Just you wait and see.

[ZeroFlowne]

Do you revel in imagining new worlds, characters and situations?
Do you see something in life, and imagine a great new story based on that sight?
When you write, are you having fun?

If the answer's yes, then...

[CaroGirl]

I had a bit of a confidence-shaking few days, what with one thing and another. I'm considering quitting writing right now, as a matter of fact. As of this minute, I don't believe I'll ever be good enough to get published, and hope of getting published is the reason I write.

I hope I change my mind tomorrow. So, no advice here, just commiseration.

[Phaeal]

I have to write like a maniac for the next year or so so I can take a two or three month sabbatical when Diablo III comes out. So I can't quit now. ;)

But seriously, folks. I have quit for long periods in the past, and something was always missing. So I'm in it for good now. Except for that Diablo III blast, of course.

[melaniehoo]

Rachelle Gardner posted about this today. She compares writing to marriage, so if you aren't married it may not apply, but I think you can understand her point.

http://cba-ramblings.blogspot.com/2008/11/your-calling-as-writer.html

I hope you feel the drive again soon!

[Clio]

But when I told our daughter I was quitting, she said something that proves how smart she is. "Well, you can quit submitting if you want, but why quit writing when you love it? Isn't that a perfectly good reason to do it?"

Maryn, who's got herself one smart kid (well, two, actually)

How I agree. I've taken breaks from writing from time to time, when I'm lacking inspiration, or every time I read through things I've written and want to press that delete key. But it's what I love to do, and even if I'm never published or if no one ever reads me, at least I will be creating something and that gives me a great buzz.

I look at it this way - I'm absolutely useless at the classical guitar, and I've been trying to teach myself for years. I just love learning new pieces and making a halfway decent sound to soothe myself. I'll never be John Williams, but trying to do the thing brings me joy. Writing is exactly the same.

Truly joyous moments are rare things. We need to keep hold of them if we can.

[wordmonkey]

Around March I was seriously thinking of quitting. I was in this to make a career, so this was a big deal for me. More than a hobby (nothing wrong with that, I just wanted something more). I had been chasing gigs, getting leads, then they'd die. Selling things hadn't be great. It was all just getting too soul destroying.

My plan was to quit, then mull over my options and probably just take a run at a new novel but without any pressure.

Then things changed. I now have a TV show that's in final negotiations with a serious production company (you HAVE heard of them); several comic books in the works; two more TV pitches that are doing the rounds and getting great feedback; I've been asked to write a movie; and I'm repped, via a company I work with, by one of the big three agents in LA.

You never know what is around the corner.

[Shadow_Ferret]

I think about quitting every day.

But I don't listen to myself because I'm an idiot. Who listens to an idiot? Right?

So then, like an idiot, I keep on writing.

[rhymegirl]

I think I have to agree with the ferret on this.

[TrickyFiction]

I often feel like I'm a terrible writer. I never feel like quitting, though, I think because I started as a child and never thought anyone would read my stories. I was just a stupid kid, after all. My parents said I was good, but I thought they were lying. They only read my stuff when they felt they had to and then said all the things parents are supposed to say whenever their kids take an interest in anything.

So I always wrote for my own pleasure. Yep. Literary masturbation, I suppose. Maybe that's the ticket. Do what you must to enjoy what you do. But even that won't cure the I-suck-so-hard-I-would-make-a-much-better-vacuum-than-a-writer blues.

All you can do is... just keep swimming, I guess.

[MrWrite]

I haven't thought about quitting (yet.) But I did take a break for a few weeks because there was a problem with my novel that I just couldn't put my finger on. So I stalled out and developed the biggest writers block I've experienced so far. Until today. Today at work I had an idea! Which led to another idea! Now I have to get writing again because I came up with what I hope is good stuff, especially towards the climax of the story.

[Fullback]

Let me offer up an alternative view to the never-give-up conformists. Life is not a movie. Sometimes people find great relief in letting go of an undeserving obsession.

Why would a horrible singer, someone without the bone structure or vocal cords, someone without any natural sense of rhythm, a person who couldn't carry a tune in two buckets, continue to forsake a balanced and normal life for an obsession to attain the unattainable? They will never be a singer. They embarrass themselves and their friends and family with their obsession.

"Never give up! You can do it!" It's nonsense. Some people just can't do it because they are not equipped for it. As we get older and closer to the end of our life, some of us are filled with regrets. We regret not learning to play an instrument, or learning a sport, or learning to paint, even writing a book. No one is an expert at everything in life. Having just tried is satisfying. Never having tried is the disappointment.

If you are not happy or enjoying what you're doing, don't do it anymore. Do something else. Unfortunately, you'll probably become obsessed at whatever the new thing is until you come to some understanding with yourself that your obsessions are more important to consider than what you are obsessed about. It can be very hard to resist the cultural crap foisted on you from the media that you can be or do anything in the world if you just persevere.

The world is a joke. Have a laugh at it while you're still in it.

[riteideas]

I'm a god awful writer. I have no grammar skills and until recently couldn’t write a sentence correctly or with meaning. But that never stopped me from writing. I write because I have to. Quitting isn’t an option. I think it must be some kind of punishment for crimes in a previous life. “You are here by given the drive to write but not the skills.” Mawhaha

[Polenth]

I'm a terrible writer. I'm wasting my time when I could be focusing on developing my social life or building my career or starting a family or whatever.

Why can't you do both? You can make time for life stuff and have time to write. The idea that writers have to give up everything else doesn't make sense to me. You're can still have other hobbies, a family and all the rest.

[scheherazade]

Well, here's the thing. I know I can write well. Well enough to keep pursuing it, at least. I feel like it's the only thing in life I'm truly designed to do - where my character flaws and weaknesses become strengths. But I still find it hard, and I don't always feel better at the end of a writing session. I just have a big blank in my head where the ideas used to be. Everything I write seems like pushing a story uphill.

The problem, maybe, is that I'm working on a novel. But I find the same problem trying to take an idea into a full story. I just have no stamina. When I was a kid I always wrote for fun - if I was in the middle of a novel it was torture to go a day without having time to write. But then I stopped writing for years (mostly unhappy years, granted) and now it's just so much harder for me to get back into it. Writing this novel feels like going to the gym with the goal of losing 50 pounds. Every time I put in my session I feel good about having made progress, and in retrospect I can look back and see how far I've come. But that doesn't make me any better prepared to handle that next session. I haven't gotten that writer's high in so long.

[scheherazade]

Why can't you do both? You can make time for life stuff and have time to write. The idea that writers have to give up everything else doesn't make sense to me. You're can still have other hobbies, a family and all the rest.

Right now writing is my fixation. I don't make any major life decisions without thinking about how it affects my writing. I used to want to become a doctor but a big part of the reason why I decided not to go to medical school was because I knew I wouldn't be happy spending 4 years in school plus 2-7 years in training with little or no time for a serious hobby, and then work 70-100 hour weeks. I have very low energy and I knew I wouldn't be able to do much writing in a career like that. (The other big part of the reason is that the low energy would make it difficult for me to succeed in that career in itself...)

I agree that you can find balance in all areas of life, including writing. But I don't naturally have a lot of other hobbies or romantic relationships. So even for me to pursue those things would require an investment of extra energy - and basically that energy would have to come from somewhere else. In my case, a lot of that would be the strategic energy I'm putting into writing right now. I'm not ready to do that. I'm at the point in my life where if I don't nurture my inner writer now, I don't know how I ever will. But I stll haven't gotten to the point again where it's truly fun to write. It's one big uphill write.

[fullbookjacket]

I know I write well. I've published short stories and non-fiction articles with relative ease. But all my life I've wanted to be a novelist. And if I reach the end of my days without getting at least one novel published, I fear that I'll look back on my life as a big disappointment. If I got to that stage without ever actually producing a novel, I'd have no one to blame but myself.

So I'm going to keep trying. I'm pretty sure 2 of the 3 novels I've written are good, with each successive one better than the one before. But I can't even get an agent or commercial publisher to look at them. If that doesn't change soon, I'll look for a small publisher.

Stuart Smalley will be my muse: "I'm good enough. I'm smart enough. And doggone it, people like me!"

[fullbookjacket]

I guess what keeps me going is the sheer joy of creativity. A lot of days, writing is a chore and feels that way. And when I read what I wrote on those days, it's...well, it's not pretty.

But on other days...literary gold, baby! I can go back and read it and think, "Damn, I'm good!"

[mario_c]

Scheherazade,
With all due respect, I'm hearing some excuses here. A wise guy once said regarding Hollywood (and this applies to publishing too, or most high stakes pursuits) they don't look for people who can do this. Anyone CAN do this. They want people who MUST do this. If you're absolutely convinced that this is who you are and you have nothing to lose pursuing it, then go for it. If not, then you should consider other career options.
If you abandoned medical school, getting married, or whatever because you want to be a writer, great. But now you have to follow the commitment every week of spending your days off from your low paying job, sitting in that chair working on your WIP. Having low energy is just another description of laziness - sorry, there's no polite way to put that. Do you think writing a page a day, or 5 or 10, is possible with 'low energy'? And not having any hobbies or relationships is just not a fun way to live, and it makes for a terrible writer. Writing is simply a reflection on a interesting life, be it high rolling success or skid row pain and suffering. Yes even formula genre is only interesting if the author is interesting.
Now get to work.

[Julia]

Wow. I disagree that having "low energy" is just laziness. You never know what being another person feels like. Someone saying they are a "low energy" person can mean so many things other than being lazy.

As to the focus needed, a few well-known writers are basically shut-ins with virtually no hobbies nor relationships. I am thinking of Phillip Roth off the top of my head. Elfriede Jelinek is a shut-in.

Some people simply require that most of their energy goes into their writing in order to be productive. It's true, writing a novel is like going to the gym! Day in day out (or most days anyway), you have to sit down or stand up at a lectern and write; for months, or years. And then, rewrite the whole thing a couple of times. To accomplish all this is quite a feat and takes incredible drive.

Sheherazade, it's completely normal to think of taking a break from writing or to think writing a novel is hard because of the discipline and the focus required. You can take a breather. You can also writer short forms instead of novels. When you feel the passion to do something or to tell a story, you quickly come back to storytelling and there is no turning back. Then, you know if you have it in you to do what you intended to do.

[scarletpeaches]

I wonder how many shop assistants, doctors, accountants, nurses, dentists, bakers or computer operators would get away with quitting their job if they pleaded 'low energy'?

We're all plugged into the same energy source here. It's called life. It all depends on how much we make use of it.

[Bufty]

Why on earth is deciding - for one's own reasons - to stop doing something which is presumably done voluntarily and for pleasure - in favour of something else, regarded as 'quitting'? :Shrug: :Hug2:

[Shara]

Scheherazade, I think I do understand where you are coming from and I do sometimes feel the same way. I don't write because I enjoy it, particularly; there are many times when I don't. Writing seems to be part of who I am; to not do it would be to stop being me, somehow.

Yet still I have days when I feel I can't write at all; I'm writing rubbish that no one will read, and I should stop pretending to be a writer and go off and do something else instead. But I don't because I can't really, and logically I know these feelings will pass.

All I can suggest is that if it gets too much, allow yourself to take a break from writing for a while, and don't beat yourself up too much because you're not writing and you think you should be (I have trouble with this one myself).

Eventually, these feelings will pass. Sometimes talking to other writers helps, because writing is solitary and it helps to understand that others have the same feelings.

Shara

[Phaeal]

I write because I have to. Quitting isn’t an option. I think it must be some kind of punishment for crimes in a previous life. “You are here by given the drive to write but not the skills.” Mawhaha

Sounds like Salieri's plight. Just don't go killing any geniuses. We need them. ;)

[Phaeal]

I wonder how many shop assistants, doctors, accountants, nurses, dentists, bakers or computer operators would get away with quitting their job if they pleaded 'low energy'?

We're all plugged into the same energy source here. It's called life. It all depends on how much we make use of it.

We may all be plugged into the same source, but our wiring differs. There are genuine genetic differences in the way individuals metabolize energy, as well as many physical and psychological disorders that cause low energy.

I'm sure scherazade is aware of this, and we don't need to urge a trip to the doctor. But if we did urge it, scherazade, it would just be out of real concern. :Hug2:

[scheherazade]

Having low energy is just another description of laziness - sorry, there's no polite way to put that. Do you think writing a page a day, or 5 or 10, is possible with 'low energy'?

You're right. I'll have to remember that after I wake up from my 10-hour nightly sleep. Those extra 3 hours must've just been laziness.

Writing a page a day is possible with low energy and a 9-to-5 job. It is not possible if you are working 12 or 15 hours a day, coming home, and heading straight to bed. Unless you can train yourself to write in your sleep.

[fullbookjacket]

Hemingway took frequent breaks from writing. Sometimes the batteries need recharging.

[scarletpeaches]

Yeah, but he always came back. That's the point.

[TrickyFiction]

Why on earth is deciding - for one's own reasons - to stop doing something which is presumably done voluntarily and for pleasure - in favour of something else, regarded as 'quitting'? :Shrug: :Hug2:

Good point.
And where were you all my young life?
I needed you to explain this to my parents.

[mario_c]

OK, don't take it personally. If you worked a 15 hour shift that's one thing, or if you have some medical condition. In all seriousness, get a physical activity and check your diet if you are overtired on a regular basis. If your body is sickly your mind may follow.
It's OK to be blocked or to take a break from some WIP to go out and explore the world and yourself. It sounded to me like you were just disinterested in it. I apologize if that is the wrong impression.
If you don't like writing, don't write. If you do, do. But when you make sacrifices for something you love, you betray yourself if you don't follow through on that love.
Just my opinion. What do I know? Enjoy.

[Nivarion]

(stuff was cut out)

The problem, maybe, is that I'm working on a novel. But I find the same problem trying to take an idea into a full story. I just have no stamina. When I was a kid I always wrote for fun - if I was in the middle of a novel it was torture to go a day without having time to write. But then I stopped writing for years (mostly unhappy years, granted) and now it's just so much harder for me to get back into it. Writing this novel feels like going to the gym with the goal of losing 50 pounds. Every time I put in my session I feel good about having made progress, and in retrospect I can look back and see how far I've come. But that doesn't make me any better prepared to handle that next session. I haven't gotten that writer's high in so long.


don't write a novel, write chapters. i am a near zombie insomniac and i understand having almost no energy. i go to bed and wake up with about what i went to bed with. sometimes don't know where the energy that is making me tick comes from.

why are you working a 15+ hour a day job? or better, what is the job? it sound like a dead end job. (pun) maybe there is something better out there for you. my mom was working a job with unforgiving hours, she quit and got another job that is paying just as much for less than half the time.

i don't know your circumstances, or what is going on in your life, but it seems you love writing. its the job that seems to be the problem, whats taking up your life.

[CarolSanDiego]

scheherazade,

In answer to your original post - I've had all those feelings you describe - self loathing, exhaustion, wondering what the hell I'll ever do with this - but for me "quitting" has never been an option. I just love writing way too much, even if in the end it only ends up being something I've done for my own amusement and self-development. I've read your other posts in this section and I wonder - why do you write? Really exploring this question might be helpful. My writer's group did this, and I actually posted my answer on my blog. It helped re-focus each of us, and helped us all understand why we are pursuing this incredibly difficult yet wonderful craft. Is it because you love to write? Is it because you can't imagine not writing? From the way you describe it, you sound either really burned out - which could be solved by stepping away from it for a while to regroup, or perhaps you really just don't like doing it anymore, but for some reason feel you should keep at it. In that case, is stopping really "quitting", with all the negative connotations that word encompasses? Or is it putting something aside that no longer works for you, and thereby freeing you to find what does work for you?

I wish you the best of luck at finding peace with this!

[Revelationz]

I do have these bouts. Sometimes I just wonder if I'm ever going to finish this book, this chapter, this paragraph....

But, at the end of the day, my desire to write trumps my desire to give up. I have such a good idea for a story, and I KNOW it. Whether or not I can ever do it justice, I don't know. But, my obsession to finish it drives me. It's like.... I can't quit.