Things we are not allowed to do.

Star Trek:
~ I... will..not... talk... ... like... Captain... Kirk.

Frank Zappa:
~ Ich werde nicht jizz auf das sofa sofa (If you speak/read German... I apologize for this in advance)

Oprah Winfrey Show:
~ I will not sit in the audience at the taping of her live show carrying a box of Chocolate Éclairs.

Thomas Covenant Series:
~ I will not tell him to just 'give them the finger'.

The Muppets:
~ I will not stick my entire hand up someones butt.

Was I only supposed to do one? =(

Harry Potter
~I will not carry my wand in my back pocket

Lord of the Rings
~I will not give Sauron his contact lens back

Series of Unforgettable Events
~I will not draw eyes all over Count Olaf

Family Guy
~I will not lick a frog

Monk
~I will try not to call 911 while changing a diaper

BSG: I will not pretend to be a Cylon while standing in the middle of command central.

Monty Python: I will not run make the French kniggets taunt me again.

Firefly: While on Serenity, I will not clap my hands and say "Oh goody Reavers!!"

Wizard of Oz: I will not feed the flying monkeys.

Numbers: I will not count on my fingers.

House: I will not make up diseases to impress patients.

Dexter: I will not leave dirty surgical instruments lying around.

House: I will not hide Dr. House's pain pills

Cops: I will not cheer for the bad guys

Kim Stanley Robinson's Mars Trilogy I will not piss off Nadia.
Greg Bear's Moving Mars I won't suggest that maybe we should have tried to work it out with Earth after all.

Star Trek: I will not play with a phazer set on stun.

Star Wars(newest 3): I will not roll my eyes again when Anakin has a whiny fit.

Burn Notice: I will not ask Fiona to show me her credentials.

LoTR: I will not clap my hands to my ears when Bombadil poetry hour begins

Twilight: I will not sit Bella down and explain that both of her boyfriends are manipulative and have serious control issues. (But I will really, really want to...)

Anita Blake series: I will not tell Anita that there are many drugs capable of knocking your libido right out so you can get back to solving crime.

Bourne series: I will not say to Jason Bourne "remember the time when....?"

Starship Enterprise (classic):
I will not bond with anyone wearing a red shirt. It would be pointless.
(ST:TNG):
I will not call Deanna Troi "Betazoid Barbie".

Hogwarts:
I will not suggest to Draco Malfoy that in choosing to be a Slytherin, he's just compensating for an unfortunate Freudian inadequacy. (Or maybe I will, come to think of it.)
I will not attempt to ward off Snape with holy water and a crucifix.
Nor will I ask Sirius Black to "fetch". (Having Peter Pettigrew run mazes is still an option, however.)

Oz:
I will not attempt to hide needles in the Straw Man, nor will I use him as a debate tool.

Half-Blood Camp (Percy Jackson & the Olympians):
I will not suggest the Centaurs be guests of honor at our Kentucky Derby party.

Harry Potter: I will not tell Ron what a whiny little B*tch he is.

Star Trek:TNG: I will not stand behind Picard and immitate him, saying "Make it so #1"

Hell's Kitchen - I will not ask what the heck the all-important Rosoto is...(showing my lack of culture)

So You Think You Can Dance? - I will not turn off Mary's microphone or hit her with a stun gun when she screams "Hot Tamale Train!"

One Tree Hill - I will not put locks on all the doors to keep them from just walking in each other's houses/rooms unannounced.

Jeremiah - I won't ask "Theo" what happened to his new Jamaican accent from "Fools Gold".

10000 BC - I won't ask where they got their dental plans for the dazzling white teeth, or ask where the girl gets her eyeliner. That runs down her face at the end when she cries.

X-men: I will never challenge Wolverine with "This is a knife."

Jenan Mac said:

Nor will I ask Sirius Black to "fetch". (Having Peter Pettigrew run mazes is still an option, however.)

Click to expand...

Hucking fillarious!

American Idol - I won't whisper in Ryan's ear that he might want to wear platform shoes so that he's as tall as the girls.

Burn Notice - I won't request something other than yogurt from the fridge, since that is all they eat.

Smallville: I will not slip a little red kryptonic in Clark's pocket....you know, just to see what'll happen this time.

CSI: Any of them: I will not plant evidence that will lead the team on a wild goose chase....even though it would be funny.

Criminal Minds: I will not stand up in the middle of the great discussion< where they describe their potential perp to the locals, and scream "Get some emotions, people!"

Monk: I will refrain from telling Monk to just go on and grow a nut already.

Disclaimer: I do enjoy these shows, just some things irk me.

Star Wars

Yoda -"Talk normal I will not."

Democratic National Convention- I will not scream out "Go Republicans!!" in a lull in any given speech.


I know, a "show" that only comes on once every 4 years, but I couldn't help myself.

Saving Grace:
I will not hide Grace's alcohol, her boy toys or her dog.

CSI:
I will not go to the least obvious/dead-on suspect and tell them to leave before whashisname figures out you did the house plan murders too.

Doctor Who: I will not mock an obviously advanced alien being when is it confronted by stairs, only to recoil in shock when it reveals an ability to levitate.

Thomas Covenant series: I will not ask one of the three brothers (Giants) "Whatever possessed you?"

Doctor Who: I will not reverse the polarity of the neutron flow

The Shield: I will not not smirk at Vic and ask how Lem's doing.

Jack Reacher - I will not mess with the Special Investigators


l8r Gods
VossMan