So... but... The Sequel

Dale Emery · Apr 21, 2008

Looks as if the original so/but thread is waning. Time to start another.

The rules are here:
http://absolutewrite.com/forums/showpost.php?p=2170998&postcount=1

Somebody kick us off...

RebelGoddess · Apr 21, 2008

I'll start!

Jeffery longed for a bottle of water to quench his thirst

Racheal

HeronW · Apr 21, 2008

but he had nothing in the fridge except for OldRotgut '19.

rosebud1981 · Apr 21, 2008

So he decided to drink from the toilet bowl.

Woof · Apr 21, 2008

But in the middle of lapping up the water, he detected an unpleasant taste and then realized to his horror and disgust that he had forgotten to flush the toilet.

Mr Flibble · Apr 21, 2008

So he added the contents of his stomach to the bowl and rinsed his mouth with Pine Fresh disinfectant

RebelGoddess · Apr 21, 2008

But he accidentily swallowed some

Racheal

Mr Flibble · Apr 21, 2008

So he threw that up as well, then decided something stronger might well be called for, and staggered off to find some vodka to sterilise his throat.

HeronW · Apr 21, 2008

But he forgot about the stairs and tumbled ass over teakettle.

Mr Flibble · Apr 21, 2008

So he said 'Who put that teakettle on the stairs? Whoever it was, they can pay for putting my arse in a sling!'

czjaba · Apr 21, 2008

But, no one answered.

Autodidact · Apr 21, 2008

This is the taste police. This thread has been declared void due to poor taste. You may start over, but avoid plot lines centered on toilets, vomiting, bodily fluids, or any combination thereof, at least on the first page. Thank you for your consideration.

Woof · Apr 22, 2008

But it was concluded by those who still valued civil liberties and the right to free speech, that the only thing worse than coarse subject matter, was censorship.

Mr Flibble · Apr 22, 2008

So Jeff pottered off to the kitchen, muttering about teakettles and bruised buttocks, in search of a much needed stiff drink

Moon Wolf · Apr 22, 2008

But it had passed by his attention that, at the kitchen door, Raya the evil neighborhood kitten was lying in wait to bite his foot off.
:e2cat:

HeronW · Apr 22, 2008

So Jeff offered Raya whatever edibles she could gorge on in his fridge while he mixed Jack Daniels with 25% cream and shared it with her in the soup tureen shaped like Shrek's head that his Aunt Mazie had given him last birthday.

czjaba · Apr 22, 2008

But just as they were about to drink, the phone rang. It was Aunt Mazie and she wanted her Shrek head back.

HeronW · Apr 22, 2008

So Jeff and Raya drank 2 quarts of Beam and Cream in about 10 seconds to get the bowl clean.

Moon Wolf · Apr 22, 2008

But it turned out she didn't need it after all, and they'd drank all that up so quickly for nothing.

Mr Flibble · Apr 23, 2008

So Jeff tried to stagger to his feet, but failed in a rather spectacular fashion, tripped over the kitten and ended with his head stuck inside Shrek's.

HeronW · Apr 23, 2008

But the evil Raya, her plan in motion, opened the door and called the Shrek-head police.

Okieslims · Apr 23, 2008

So Jeff ripped the phone out of the wall and locked evil Raya in the freezer.

Eudaemonic · Apr 23, 2008

but evil Raya's evil clone clobbered him over the head with a halibut

Jersey Chick · Apr 23, 2008

So now he had a headache, and a mess to clean up, because the halibut really splattered

dobiwon · Apr 24, 2008

but he was out of paper towels so he used the hideous shirt his grandma had given him for his birthday

So... but... The Sequel

is way off topic

Down Under Fan

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Outward Hound

They've been very bad, Mr Flibble

They've been very bad, Mr Flibble

Down Under Fan

They've been very bad, Mr Flibble

dreaming of the day...

...in my Maidenform Bra.

Outward Hound

They've been very bad, Mr Flibble

Moon Wolf

Down Under Fan

dreaming of the day...

Down Under Fan

Moon Wolf

They've been very bad, Mr Flibble

Down Under Fan

what? why!

Up all night to get Loki

Planning to retire for the 5th time

росебуд1