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sheadakota
04-20-2008, 03:28 PM
A GI Bug has made the rounds in our house- both my kids got it and passed it on to me last week- fever, chills, body aches and pains, cramping, things spewing out of places they shouldn't..

Anyway- I still had to go on with my life, The horses still needed fed and watered as did the dogs and the kids, I mean I felt like crap, had a fever of 101 and all I wanted to do was sleep, but I'm a mom so that didn't happen.

Well the same bug finally hit my husband this weekend- I work every weekend- so he takes care of critters and kids- But where is he THIS weekend- upstairs - in bed for the last twenty-four hours! I kid you not- He hired a babysitter to stay with the kids and feed animals!

This is the same man who has a fit if I 'waste' gas making two trips to the grocery store in one week, spending money on a babysitter because he doesn't feel good!

WHY? All you men out there- please try to explain this to me- consider it research- I need to know, why I had to go about my life feeling like crap and he gets to sleep??? I just don't get it-

JJ Cooper
04-20-2008, 03:37 PM
Because, if we push through the illness and keep working - you gals would expect it all of the time.

JJ

SPMiller
04-20-2008, 03:39 PM
My father did this while I was growing up. Whine whine whine, bitch bitch bitch, all the time when my mother got sick. But when he got sick, he expected to hear no complaints when he did nothing. I don't understand.

As for myself, now being a man, I can only say that I don't get sick. Ever. Last sickness I had was pneumonia, ten years ago. Not kidding. No colds, no flu, no allergies, no headaches, no nausea, nothing.

Well, except for the times I drink too much... then I get headaches and nausea, but that's another issue entirely.

kristie911
04-20-2008, 04:00 PM
When the ex and I were first married, I was sick with strep throat. Fever of 102, vomiting (not recommend with strep throat), chills, body aches...the whole thing. I was down for the count. The kitchen sink backs up. So idiot goes to the hardware store and comes back with a pipe snake...who knows how to use it? Me. Who ends up snaking the kitchen sink? Me.

A few days later, he gets strep. No vomiting (I vomit any time I get a fever), low grade fever (99), no body aches, no chills. Who lays on the couch, unmoving, for 4 freakin' days? Him.

Just one more reason he's an ex. :D

KrishnaJewel
04-20-2008, 05:08 PM
I fully understand...when I was having my kids, I use to get so sick that they would put me on meds, and a few times bedrest. With the last one I was so sick I couldnt even keep water down, I ended up spending three months in hospital on IVs. The now ex arsehl says to me, if it was for the doctors, I would say you are faking it.

I could have slapped him! If I had had the strength to even raise a hand, that is.

But of course if he got a cold, he was down for the count!

While My Darling doesnt usually become an invalid...he is still basically a little boy when it comes to being ill. I have to tell to him to lay down, take it easy, take a pain killer, go to the doc/dentist, after having gone to the doc/dentist I have to say take your Rx med, etc.

I am often amazed a single man living on his own ever survives :P

Ken
04-20-2008, 05:18 PM
according to someone I know, men just like being tended to by their wives or GF's when they're sick. If they play it off really well they can sometimes even get a back massage out of it.

aruna
04-20-2008, 05:36 PM
It's the same with us. My husband is basically a hypochondriac, and he tends to be sicker when I

KrishnaJewel
04-20-2008, 05:39 PM
according to someone I know, men just like being tended to by their wives or GF's when they're sick. If they play it off really well they can sometimes even get a back massage out of it.

lol hmm...perhaps so...I know for a fact My Darling hasnt been babied, pampered, tended to...and frankly, loved before. And I also know that a lot of times he doesnt do things cos he knows I will step in and do it, so again I am taking care of him...lol.

So perhaps you are right :)

Frankly I dont mind since he doesnt act like a cold will kill him (i.e. EX) and I have a very strong care taker streak (as do most Cancers :D )

aruna
04-20-2008, 05:42 PM
It's the same with us. My husband is basically a hypochondriac, and he tends to be sicker when I am nearby to look after him. He can't even remember to take his meds on time. I am never ill; I just can't afford to be.
My husband was and still is babied by his own mother. She will iron his underwear and flips out if a vest of his. is slightly blue because I washed it with colourds. He was so mollycoddled he can't make it alone.
So, ladies, watch out how you raise your sons. Don't let them be babies!

truelyana
04-20-2008, 05:44 PM
WHY? All you men out there- please try to explain this to me- consider it research- I need to know, why I had to go about my life feeling like crap and he gets to sleep??? I just don't get it-

I'm exactly the same! I never feel crap, I sleep it off. Really does depend on the person.

truelyana
04-20-2008, 05:45 PM
according to someone I know, men just like being tended to by their wives or GF's when they're sick. If they play it off really well they can sometimes even get a back massage out of it.

Not really. It depends a lot more on the man.(Person behind the faced gender mask)

truelyana
04-20-2008, 05:46 PM
Because, if we push through the illness and keep working - you gals would expect it all of the time.

JJ

You said it! ;)

Ken
04-20-2008, 05:53 PM
I have a very strong care taker streak (as do most Cancers :D )

I wish I had a practical inclining astrological sign. I'm an Aquarius and tend to walk about dreaming most of the time.

My current dream is for everybody here to have a great Sunday,
and I believe this one will come true :)

choppersmom
04-20-2008, 06:15 PM
So, ladies, watch out how you raise your sons. Don't let them be babies!

"Momma, don't let your babies grow up to be...babies??"

choppersmom
04-20-2008, 06:17 PM
Choppersdad is a rock when it comes to illness, injury, anything like that. He'll work through anything and never complain. If he asks for an Aleve, I know he's really sick. Plus, he waits on me hand and foot when I'm unwell. I guess I'm one of the lucky ones.

JJ Cooper
04-20-2008, 06:19 PM
Choppersdad is a rock when it comes to illness, injury, anything like that. He'll work through anything and never complain. If he asks for an Aleve, I know he's really sick. Plus, he waits on me hand and foot when I'm unwell. I guess I'm one of the lucky ones.

You - and my wife.

JJ

aruna
04-20-2008, 06:21 PM
My son has better health than his girlfriend, who seems to be sick every other week. Then he waits on her hand and foot!

dpaterso
04-20-2008, 06:21 PM
Cue "Why Can't Woman Handle...?" counterstrike thread.

I'm x10 manlier than any man quoted or posting in this thread, except maybe Choppersdad.

-Derek

JJ Cooper
04-20-2008, 06:22 PM
Okay, I'm off to bed. Felling a bit ill. May even take the day off and have a sleep in.

JJ

ETA. X10 manlier hey, Derek. We may need a beer drinking or belching contest to sort that one out.

JustJess
04-20-2008, 06:47 PM
I hear ya. In February we all got the flu-it started with hubby. He was in bed for 72hrs straight. I had to sleep in the living room with our 2mo baby. Well then the rest of us got it (this includes a 12yo, 10yo, 7yo, 4yo, 2mo old baby and myself) So here I am with a 102 fever, sick as a dog and having to care for 5 other sick people-he'd come home from work and take a nap! Because he was still "run down".

Any other dh's suffer from this phenomenon?-Where if directions are to take 2 pills they take 4 because they're "sicker" than most people? Or in more pain than most people? Oh and every pain is organ-related. Nope it's not a pulled muscle-it's a damaged kidney or a punctured lung.

chevbrock
04-20-2008, 06:54 PM
Oh, my hubby is never sick - he is always, always, dying.

Jean Marie
04-20-2008, 07:43 PM
Cue "Why Can't Woman Handle...?" counterstrike thread.



-Derek
Honey, there ain't no counterstrike thread on this one.

Men are babies when it comes to being sick :e2tongue:

"I'm gonna die," if you get a sniffle. Give me a break!

truelyana
04-20-2008, 07:47 PM
Cue "Why Can't Woman Handle...?" counterstrike thread.

I'm x10 manlier than any man quoted or posting in this thread, except maybe Choppersdad.

-Derek

Hear Hear!! :)

Okay, I'm off to bed. Felling a bit ill. May even take the day off and have a sleep in.

JJ

ETA. X10 manlier hey, Derek. We may need a beer drinking or belching contest to sort that one out.

I'm down with that!! X20 beating all the manlier and womanly stereotypes. I love beer and belching by the way. :)

Honey, there ain't no counterstrike thread on this one.

Men are babies when it comes to being sick :e2tongue:

"I'm gonna die," if you get a sniffle. Give me a break!

You must have had your fair share of attracting baby men then!

Cranky
04-20-2008, 07:52 PM
Mr. Cranky is weird when it comes to illness. If he's a little sick...it's the end of the world! But, if he's really, really sick...silly man tries to push through it. He works too hard, and won't take a break or cut himself some slack.

Frankly, I don't get it. I think it's a denial thing. And if he's just a little ill, he enjoys the pampering, lol. Being really sick worries him, I think. He's the breadwinner in our family (I'm a SAHM). I think that's the reason for it, but it's not like he's gonna own up to it.

So, I just get a little pushy when I know he's really sick. Make him rest, take medicine, nag him to see the doctor, etc. :D

maestrowork
04-20-2008, 07:58 PM
It's just pay back time. Men don't get a lot of chance to ask for pampering, unlike women. We don't take hour-long bubble baths. We don't have spas. We don't get diamonds and flowers. We don't get taken out on a date. Nobody buys us presents. We have to tiptoe around women every month during that special time. So give us a freaking break if we want our own share of pampering when we get sick, which isn't frequent enough.

You don't want to see a thread about how women want to be pampered all the time, do you?

p.s. not all men are like that, either. The generalization here is just awful.


I think I'm going to be sick now.

BlackViolet13
04-20-2008, 08:12 PM
I'm in the same situation as Aruna. I love my hubs to no end, but DAMN! Take your big boy pill and man up, mister!

We've actually been at his parents' house when he's been sick and his mother brought him a tray--yes, a TRAY--with all sorts of "sickly" things on it (and sorry, I'm gagging as I type this, so please take what you will from my tone). She waited on him hand and foot and it really did me no favors because I had to live with him after that. And I know his entire childhood was like that, too.

My mom is a nurse--if we weren't bleeding or didn't have appendages falling off, we were good to go, my brother and dad included. I wish I could say I am kidding when I say that she would take out her thermometer, stethoscope, and check our eyes and ears with a scope if we dared to utter any words of impending sickness. We never got sick days from school unless we had actual fevers (I remember making a clever little concoction of leftovers one morning that I poured into the toilet to pass off as vomit--she took one look and said, "I think I see last night's turkey in there.") My mom had it right though, and I think she's a rock star :D

So yeah. After hubs grew up so coddled, it makes me look like a jerk when I tell him to take some Aleve, drink lots of tea, and get on with it.

ETA: I do want to credit my mom by saying that when my dad's finger actually did get the tip cut off, she was very sweet to him and that when my brother got hit in the face by a golf ball, she actually passed out in the ER when she saw him (I was telling him how cool his face looked, all shifted to one side of his head, so I was no help).

KTC
04-20-2008, 08:14 PM
I don't think it's fair to lump us all together. I work through sickness. And I don't complain.

truelyana
04-20-2008, 08:16 PM
It's just pay back time. Men don't get a lot of chance to ask for pampering, unlike women. We don't take hour-long bubble baths. We don't have spas. We don't get diamonds and flowers. We don't get taken out on a date. Nobody buys us presents. We have to tiptoe around women every month during that special time. So give us a freaking break if we want our own share of pampering when we get sick, which isn't frequent enough.

You don't want to see a thread about how women want to be pampered all the time, do you?

p.s. not all men are like that, either. The generalization here is just awful.


I think I'm going to be sick now.

Well said, now we know how some of us feel. P.S-I don't get any of the above neither-pampering, diamonds spa and all that. Instead of getting pay back on everyone, we should be appreciating people for who they are and not putting them down because of what gender they were born in. Let us celebrate the differences, I say. :)

maestrowork
04-20-2008, 08:19 PM
I'm glad someone sees the irony.

BlackViolet13
04-20-2008, 08:21 PM
It's just pay back time. Men don't get a lot of chance to ask for pampering, unlike women. We don't take hour-long bubble baths. We don't have spas. We don't get diamonds and flowers. We don't get taken out on a date. Nobody buys us presents. We have to tiptoe around women every month during that special time. So give us a freaking break if we want our own share of pampering when we get sick, which isn't frequent enough.

You don't want to see a thread about how women want to be pampered all the time, do you?

p.s. not all men are like that, either. The generalization here is just awful.


I think I'm going to be sick now.

Hold up just a second...we're supposed to get DIAMONDS???

maestrowork
04-20-2008, 08:22 PM
Hold up just a second...we're supposed to get DIAMONDS???

Only when the man gets a 106 fever.

:)

Cranky
04-20-2008, 08:23 PM
Well, I can't speak for anyone else, but I honestly don't mind pampering hubby when he's sick. Any other time, either. It goes both ways in our house, though my idea of pampering from him is asking him to get me a cup of tea. :D

I don't mind because he doesn't ask for or want much for himself. I have to push him to buy new clothes for himself, even when they're falling apart! His one indulgence is video games, and I don't mind that. We battled about it when we were younger and first married, but we came to an understanding. :)

Cranky
04-20-2008, 08:24 PM
Hold up just a second...we're supposed to get DIAMONDS???

:roll:

I'd think hubby had gone off his rocker if he tried to do that! He gave me a lot of jewlery when we were younger (including a diamond engagement ring), but he figured out that I'm more of a book gal, and so doesn't usually give me that stuff anymore.

I prefer books and the impulse-buy convenience store flowers, meself. :D

truelyana
04-20-2008, 08:25 PM
Hold up just a second...we're supposed to get DIAMONDS???

I don't even wear jewellery, so I wonder where the diamonds would go.

maestrowork
04-20-2008, 08:27 PM
I think there's something good about pampering each other when we need it. Being too needy or too "detached" is not good. I give them massages all the time (and I'm very good at it -- and I don't get a massage back; that's okay), and so if I expect a little bit of pampering when I feel sick, I think I deserve it. :) The problem is when either party refuses to give and just take. Then something is definitely wrong.

maestrowork
04-20-2008, 08:27 PM
I don't even wear jewellery, so I wonder where the diamonds would go.

Let me think on something. ;)

truelyana
04-20-2008, 08:31 PM
Let me think on something. ;)

:D Either way is fine. *Hopefully, I don't sound too perverted here*

billythrilly7th
04-20-2008, 09:09 PM
It's evolutionary.

If the male monkey/homo erecutus/homo neanderthal etc...

was sick, he was weak. And if he didn't hide/stay out of sight, one of the other male monkeys/pre-hums would kill him to establish dominance among the herd/pack group etc.

So the males had to lay low and heal before showing their face again.

The woman monkey/pre-hums could get sick and still do their chores without having to be worried about getting clubbed on the head with a rock.

It's evolutionary.

Look it up.

aruna
04-20-2008, 09:25 PM
It's just pay back time. Men don't get a lot of chance to ask for pampering, unlike women. We don't take hour-long bubble baths. We don't have spas. We don't get diamonds and flowers. We don't get taken out on a date. Nobody buys us presents. We have to tiptoe around women every month during that special time. So give us a freaking break if we want our own share of pampering when we get sick, which isn't frequent enough.

You don't want to see a thread about how women want to be pampered all the time, do you?

p.s. not all men are like that, either. The generalization here is just awful.


I think I'm going to be sick now.

What? Women are supposed to get all that? Nobody has EVER pampered me, I hate bubble baths, and I can't remember the last time I got a birthday present! Talk about generalization....!:whip:

maestrowork
04-20-2008, 09:27 PM
'xactly.

aruna
04-20-2008, 09:43 PM
However, I think the fact that so many women complain over their men shows that there is some truth to the generalization that many many (of course not all!) men are more likely to take to their bed when they are ill... What Billy said might be half in jest but can't be dismissed out of hand, we don;t even have to go that far back in history. It's a throwback to men's traditional role as breadwinner.The breadwinner ad to get back to work as soon as possible, and so was allowed to rest and be cared for. However, the woman, traditionally the homemaker, could never take a break. Her family (children) had to be taken care of, even if she was on her last legs.
With all the equality we seem to have today, a lot of those roles continue into our present day lives; like with my MIL, a traditional, very conservatively thinking woman. Her whole life is centered around looking after her son. She does not have a daughter, but if she ad I am sure that girl would not be pampered; she;d be raised to work hard in the household from morning to evening, looking after the men.
Younger men might find all this archaic but it is still a reality in many families.

maestrowork
04-20-2008, 09:51 PM
Roles can be reversed, too. A lot of men are now stay-at-home dads and the women the main breadwinners. I can see there are cases where the women need the pampering while sick and the men become the major caretakers around the house.

When my mom gets sick, she stays in bed and my dad takes care of her every whim. Massage, foot rub, tasty treats, the works. When my dad gets sick, he stays in bed and my mom gives him medicine. :) That's when you know they're good for each other, despite all the bickering and fighting.

Cranky
04-20-2008, 09:55 PM
Well, in my archaic, man-is-the-breadwinner household, I have all sons. They do chores that include dishes and dusting. They take out the trash, too, of course, but they are too small for many other chores. I don't like them to handle chemicals.

They will learn to do these things because they need to know in order to take care of themselves. I tell them that this is a family, which means taking care of the house is everyone's job, not just Mom's. I am not their maid. Even their father helps. My life is centered around my family, and there is nothing wrong with that.

That's another generalization which I wish would bite the dust. That I'm somehow under my husband and children's thumbs, running myself into the ground to take care of them while they take advantage of the situation.

Not gonna happen. I work hard, and they're being raised to respect what I do just as much as their father's work.

ETA: This isn't meant to be a dig at Aruna (sorry!), but she raised a point that is bothersome to me. I run across this all the time. Either people feel sorry for me for staying at home (as if I'm deprived in some way, never thinking I might do this because I enjoy it), or assume I eat bon bons all day and do nothing. That I'm not contributing anything in my home, really, because it's not generating money. Never mind the fact that it's saving us a good chunk of money in daycare costs! Aaaaaah!

aruna
04-20-2008, 09:59 PM
Roles can be reversed, too. A lot of men are now stay-at-home dads and the women the main breadwinners. I.

Of course they can. But the fact remains, that role reversal is more a modern, Western phenomenon and it takes several generations for some habits to be laid to rest.

truelyana
04-20-2008, 10:06 PM
Of course they can. But the fact remains, that role reversal is more a modern, Western phenomenon and it takes several generations for some habits to be laid to rest.

I don't think that is, as it depends very much on the people, and whether they want to let the associations of it, weigh down in the end. Generations or no generations, it all rests on the person. Of course, the habitual patterns in the social realm change over the years, just as well as they may improve and deteriorate, but the main print that is left is in the people, and not so much the mark of the era. We are human beings floating through material time, and the processes around us affect and shape our experiences and beliefs.

maestrowork
04-20-2008, 10:30 PM
I agree with truelyana. Culture can affect people on the macro level, but when it comes down to it, it's a personal choice issue, generations or no generations. My parents grew up in these "traditional" households. My grandmothers were all homemakers. My mom wasn't. And that was the 50s and 60s, not really "modern and western" where she came from. As far as I can recall, I was always in daycare so my mom could work. She made twice as much as my dad and it was my dad who shopped and cooked for us when he got home. My brother and I went to school by ourselves, then we got dropped off at the daycare until either Mom or Dad came home. My mom's major chore was cleaning, but we all chipped in as well. She was very much a career woman. It was not only a necessary choice (since my family was poor and we needed double income) but also a personal choice (she was very career-driven). My mom was never a "housewife" -- it has nothing do with the the culture. She just never had any aspiration to be a homemaker.

Even in the Western world, there are many women who are homemakers as well as career women. Just as there are stay-at-home fathers in China. Cultural influence and pressure do have something to do with society on a aggregate level, but like everything else, there are all kinds of people with all kinds of situations.

aruna
04-20-2008, 10:47 PM
She was very much a career woman. It was not only a necessary choice (since my family was poor and we needed double income) but also a personal choice (she was very career-driven). My mom was never a "housewife" -- it has nothing do with the the culture. She just never had any aspiration to be a homemaker.

Even in the Western world, there are many women who are homemakers as well as career women. Just as there are stay-at-home fathers in China. Cultural influence and pressure do have something to do with society on a aggregate level, but like everything else, there are all kinds of people with all kinds of situations.

My mother was 100% a career woman; I don't believe she ever did a stroke of housework in her life! I can't remember her ever cooking a meal for me; my aunts did all that. Nevertheless, she was the exception for her generation, and the generations before her. She was very much in the vanguard. The fact that these days most women have careers doesn't change the fact that for most countries in the world, traditionally the man was always, and in many societies today as well, the breadwinner. The "it's up to the individual" argument holds mostly for the present.

I don't think you realize how much society has changed within the last forty years!

aruna
04-20-2008, 10:52 PM
PS my husband is 65, raised in semi-rural Germany. Obviously, he has quite a different upbringing to a 30 year old American! And he and his mother are absolutely typical for that place and time. Generalizations are not out of place when they really are the rule rather than the exception.

aruna
04-20-2008, 10:55 PM
Society has changed, but it's the people in the society that have made it so.

Well, yes; society IS people. It does not exist apart from people. I don't get what the conflict is! Times change, and so do people.

truelyana
04-20-2008, 10:58 PM
Well, yes; society IS people. It does not exist apart from people. I don't get what the conflict is! Times change, and so do people.

Of course, and that is what I meant, as people create Society. Every individual has a choice, to create their own reality, with or without the changes of generations affecting them. It is their choice in the end. :)

Lyxdeslic
04-20-2008, 11:12 PM
Why Can't Men Handle being Sick?

Because. We're little bitches, that's why. All right, seriously, I don't whine about stuff. Ever. But I'll tell ya what, if I get a tooth ache? Please, for the sake of both of us, just stay out the way, huh?

Lyx

Seaclusion
04-20-2008, 11:17 PM
Okay, so you allo have explained why society treats men one way and women another. Would someone now tell me why women never, I repeat never, put things back where they found them or leave things the way they found them.

Oh oh, I'm goin' to create a fire storm aren't I.

Richard

Lyxdeslic
04-20-2008, 11:18 PM
Of course they can. But the fact remains, that role reversal is more a modern, Western phenomenon and it takes several generations for some habits to be laid to rest.Gimme a break. Why does everything have to be categorized? It's about human compatibility. Period.

Lyx

truelyana
04-20-2008, 11:24 PM
Okay, so you allo have explained why society treats men one way and women another. Would someone now tell me why women never, I repeat never, put things back where they found them or leave things the way they found them.

Oh oh, I'm goin' to create a fire storm aren't I.

Richard

Maybe it's just been women you met? What you say, depends a lot on the person. I always put things back where I find them and always leave things the way I find them. That is just me. :)

Lyxdeslic
04-20-2008, 11:28 PM
Take the great/timeless "Lower thy toilet seat" issue. Do all women require this rule in their household? No. Just like, not all men are little bitches when sick. Or all women forget to put stuff away in their proper place. But they both happen. They're both kinda funny/quirky. The end.

I've seen it all now. People being offended and actually arguing their viewpoint on a lighthearted issue meant to be fun.

Lyx--who's always wondered, "If I'm expected to remember to lower the toilet seat every time, why the feck can't she remember to look to see if it's down?"

truelyana
04-20-2008, 11:31 PM
Take the great/timeless "Lower thy toilet seat" issue. Do all women require this rule in their household? No. Just like, not all men are little bitches when sick. Or all women forget to put stuff away in their proper place. But they both happen. They're both kinda funny/quirky. The end.

I've seen it all now. People being offended and actually arguing their viewpoint on a lighthearted issue meant to be fun.

Lyx--who's always wondered, "If I'm expected to remember to lower the toilet seat every time, why the feck can't she remember to look to see if it's down?"

Toilet seats are news to me, as I don't pay much attention. My partner leaves he's toilet seat up at he's house, and I don't care! :)

Seaclusion
04-20-2008, 11:34 PM
My post was to show that a generalization such as "why women never put anything back" is just as ridiculous as generalizing that "all men can't handle being sick"

Richard

truelyana
04-20-2008, 11:35 PM
My post was to show that a generalization such as "why women never put anything back" is just as ridiculous as generalizing that "all men can't handle being sick"

Richard

Well made. :)

Seaclusion
04-20-2008, 11:36 PM
I changed my signature line. I didn't want to be considered sexist.

Richard

Lyxdeslic
04-20-2008, 11:38 PM
No, no, Sea, I got that (at least I'd hoped). :) My comments were more toward those who showed a need to argue, defend, their viewpoint. Your post was jokey, as was the op.

Lyx

truelyana
04-20-2008, 11:40 PM
:) Maybe your reading into it too much Lyxdeslic?

Lyxdeslic
04-20-2008, 11:45 PM
Probably.

aruna
04-20-2008, 11:48 PM
Of course, and that is what I meant, as people create Society. Every individual has a choice, to create their own reality, with or without the changes of generations affecting them. It is their choice in the end. :)

The "every individual has a choice" is again only a recent phenomenon, and limited to certain parts of the world. For my MIL, and others of her generation, that is newfangled nonsense! Women did this, men did that.
Gimme a break. Why does everything have to be categorized? It's about human compatibility. Period.

Lyx

Let me take you to Tiruvannamalai, Tamin Nadu, India, and you give them a talk there about "compatability", and role reversal, and "it's all up to the individual", all the rest of it... and see what they say!

Gimme a break? No way, you little whippersnapper!

Listen you guys, you're acting as if I am defending the question "why can't men handle being sick" as literally true, that I actually believe that all men are like that... What bull...! It was obvious to me that the thread title was tongue in cheek... wasn't that obvious? And yes, some of us told stories that upheld that question, but that doesn't mean we take think our men are like all men! Gimme a break!

The fact remains, though, that in the past, in our modern society, and still today in many societies (see Tiruvannamalai above), men were the main breadwinners and women the homemakers. Or does anybody dispute that statement?

aruna
04-20-2008, 11:54 PM
No, no, Sea, I got that (at least I'd hoped). :) My comments were more toward those who showed a need to argue, defend, their viewpoint. Your post was jokey, as was the op.

Lyx my bold.
Then we agree, as in my post above (that the thread title was a joke). If you are referring to me: it is not a viewpoint, that in the past, men were breadwinners, women homemakers. That is a fact.
It is a viewpoint, though, that this may be a reason why back then, men had to rest when they were ill, and women just kept going, looking after the kids. It's only a viewpoint; if I came across as argumentative, i apologize. I didn't think it was such a controversial viewpoint. It seems I was wrong.:cry:

truelyana
04-20-2008, 11:56 PM
The "every individual has a choice" is again only a recent phenomenon, and limited to certain parts of the world. For my MIL, and others of her generation, that is newfangled nonsense! Women did this, men did that.


Let me take you to Tiruvannamalai, Tamin Nadu, India, and you give them a talk there about "compatability", and role reversal, and "it's all up to the individual", all the rest of it... and see what they say!

Gimme a break? No way, you little whippersnapper!

Listen you guys, you're acting as if I am defending the question "why can't men handle being sick" as literally true, that I actually believe that all men are like that... What bull...!

We all do have a choice, (that is why we are here) even if consequences and experiences don't plan out as we intend or we are forced down by will, all these experiences still remain part of of who we are. Of course not everything works out the way you want it to, but that is the beauty of life. Everything we encounter we give it our own interpretation, and it is how we perceive it that counts. That is where our choice lies.

Lyxdeslic
04-20-2008, 11:59 PM
The "every individual has a choice" is again only a recent phenomenon, and limited to certain parts of the world. For my MIL, and others of her generation, that is newfangled nonsense! Women did this, men did that.


Let me take you to Tiruvannamalai, Tamin Nadu, India, and you give them a talk there about "compatability", and role reversal, and "it's all up to the individual", all the rest of it... and see what they say!

Gimme a break? No way, you little whippersnapper!

Listen you guys, you're acting as if I am defending the question "why can't men handle being sick" as literally true, that I actually believe that all men are like that... What bull...! It was obvious to me that the thread title was tongue in cheek... wasn't that obvious? And yes, some of us told stories that upheld that question, but that doesn't mean we take think our men are like all men! Gimme a break!

The fact remains, though, that in the past, in our modern society, and still today in many societies (see Tiruvannamalai above), men were the main breadwinners and women the homemakers. Or does anybody dispute that statement?Understood, you little condescender. My point is exactly that I GET the op was tongue in cheek, and anyone who feels the need to argue for or against that--as you have--needs to lighten the hell up.

Yes, Aruna, we all understand how cultured you are. Yes, Aruna, there are plenty of cultures that are male-dominated. But take away cultural mandates, explore love on an individual level, and by god it comes down to compatibility every time. "Or does anybody dispute that statement?"

Lyx

aruna
04-20-2008, 11:59 PM
Lyx[/quote]

We all do have a choice,

I'm sorry, I don't agree with this. Most people in the world have only the one choice, to get on with the life they are stuck in. Those with a choice are really very privileged.

aruna
04-21-2008, 12:01 AM
Understood, you little condescender. My point is exactly that I GET the op was tongue in cheek, and anyone who feels the need to argue for or against that--as you have--needs to lighten the hell up.


I only turned serious when Ray seemed to believe that the generalizations were in any way serious. Anyway, I'm off to walk the dog.

truelyana
04-21-2008, 12:03 AM
Lyx



I'm sorry, I don't agree with this. Most people in the world have only the one choice, to get on with the life they are stuck in. Those with a choice are really very privileged.[/quote]

That life is still theirs and they have a choice to live, and I don't think that needs to be included here, as it is not fair to interpret the life of another.

aruna
04-21-2008, 12:51 AM
I'm sorry, I don't agree with this. Most people in the world have only the one choice, to get on with the life they are stuck in. Those with a choice are really very privileged.

That life is still theirs and they have a choice to live, and I don't think that needs to be included here, as it is not fair to interpret the life of another.[/quote]

If you are talking about attitudes, then, yes, I do agree. Attitude is everything. But most of us do not have the choice to change our life situations. But this has come very close to home for me, too close perhaps, so I;ll bow out and take this to PM with you. I'm sorry if I sounded aggressive or condescending.

truelyana
04-21-2008, 01:45 AM
That life is still theirs and they have a choice to live, and I don't think that needs to be included here, as it is not fair to interpret the life of another.

If you are talking about attitudes, then, yes, I do agree. Attitude is everything. But most of us do not have the choice to change our life situations. But this has come very close to home for me, too close perhaps, so I;ll bow out and take this to PM with you. I'm sorry if I sounded aggressive or condescending.[/quote]

Not in so much respect. I'm talking about the reality, of why we are all here. Attitudes can as much be scraped away, as they can be stuck together. You, however are fixed. What I mean by this, is that you can either choose to do something for the better of you and that creates happiness, or spend your whole life putting yourself down because you think you have no choice.

Don't worry Aruna. :Hug2:

maestrowork
04-21-2008, 02:36 AM
My post was to show that a generalization such as "why women never put anything back" is just as ridiculous as generalizing that "all men can't handle being sick"

Richard

I made that point 20 posts ago. :)

maestrowork
04-21-2008, 02:44 AM
Understood, you little condescender. My point is exactly that I GET the op was tongue in cheek, and anyone who feels the need to argue for or against that--as you have--needs to lighten the hell up.


I only turned serious when Ray seemed to believe that the generalizations were in any way serious. Anyway, I'm off to walk the dog.

But then why is it okay to have a joke about "men" in general but if I started a thread generalizing women, I'd probably not live through the day? That was exactly my point earlier: What if I started a thread about "women like to be pampered all the time"? Immediately a number of women raised their hands and said, "That's just not true." Hey, I was just tongue-in-cheek.

It goes both ways, people. Whenever there's a generalization thread, whether it's tongue-in-cheek or not, it ends up being offensive to someone.

choppersmom
04-21-2008, 02:47 AM
Wow! I just got back from Mom and Dad's house (in which my mom has always been a SAHM) and everyone's biting each other through the fences! Calm down, everyone, it's all good!!

I work. Pat works. When I'm sick, I go to work. When Pat's sick, he goes to work. If I'm that sick that I can't go to work, he cares for me. If it should ever happen that Iron Man ever did call in legitimately sick, I would care for him. That's where it's at, or where it should be, anyway. We should be caring for each other. If you feel your partner doesn't do enough by you, the only way to initiate a change is by telling your partner how you feel. I don't fuss too much about such things as the toilet seat, and a lot of other little annoyances get swept under the rug by both parties. (I'm not always an angel - surprise!) We respect each other, say please and thank you, do little things to please one another. That's why we work so well together. We don't sweat the small stuff, and don't pet the sweaty stuff.

Devil Ledbetter
04-21-2008, 02:55 AM
But then why is it okay to have a joke about "men" in general but if I started a thread generalizing women, I'd probably not live through the day? That was exactly my point earlier: What if I started a thread about "women like to be pampered all the time"? Ooh, I dare ya, Ray.:popcorn: This is going to be fun.

My DH is a big whiny baby when he gets even the slightest bit ill. On the other hand, when I've been very sick he's done anything and everything he could to keep me comfortable and take care of our kids. No way could I resent indulging him when he's under the weather.

And Lyx, he leaves the seat down for me. But he wouldn't change the toilet paper roll if his life depended on it. You're right, It's all about compatibility.

JJ Cooper
04-21-2008, 03:15 AM
I think the responsible thing to do is to stay home when you are sick. Too many people try to fight on through at work and end up spreading their germs to others. Bad for productivity.

Therefore, this would make the men far more responsible by staying in bed all day in order to avoid spreading their germs.

JJ

BlackViolet13
04-21-2008, 03:17 AM
I debated going back to my original post several times because of how this thread has evolved. Truly, I was not generalizing anybody, I was focusing on my particular situation, which applied to the OP. My IRL friends and I have joked about the same thing, but it's all in good fun.

My opening line was probably (appropriately) interpreted as harsh, but I've jokingly said the same things to my husband, and we've had a good laugh (and now I'm cringing because I'm worried I'm going to come off as a sociopathic abuser ;)). Alternately, he's said to me, "Go get me a beer, woman," which usually gets a pillow tossed at him. I know that he's joking, and he would never say something like that to me unless he knew I'd "get it." We both understand that we (and our families) have our quirks, and we both laugh about them with each other. We are seriously polar opposites who have our own ways of dealing with things, but I think we've done one helluva great job together :D

Not every person is going to fall into specific categories--variety is the spice of life and all that :) I just want to say that if anybody has taken offense to my post, I apologize, I never meant any harm.

BlackViolet13
04-21-2008, 03:18 AM
I think the responsible thing to do is to stay home when you are sick. Too many people try to fight on through at work and end up spreading their germs to others. Bad for productivity.

Therefore, this would make the men far more responsible by staying in bed all day in order to avoid spreading their germs.

JJ

As a person who's studying to be an epidemiologist, I have to agree :)

choppersmom
04-21-2008, 03:34 AM
So do I, but my bosses don't quite see it that way. Seems they have this thing, like a rule or something, that if I don't come in, they won't give me the piece of paper with the numbers on it, and if I stay home enough, I'll be cordially invited to stay home all the time. Now that's some bad productivity!

DWSTXS
04-21-2008, 03:41 AM
I heard this years ago, maybe I made it up, I don't know, but it is in my current WIP

'All men, on their death beds, call out for their momma.'

Devil Ledbetter
04-21-2008, 03:44 AM
So do I, but my bosses don't quite see it that way. Seems they have this thing, like a rule or something, that if I don't come in, they won't give me the piece of paper with the numbers on it, and if I stay home enough, I'll be cordially invited to stay home all the time. Now that's some bad productivity!Well, I was going to agree with JJ, but I see you've made a most excellent counterpoint. :D

JimmyB27
04-21-2008, 03:45 AM
Why Can't Men Handle being Sick?

Why is it that women seem to think it's so big and clever to carry on as normal when you're sick?
I had the flu a few weeks ago (actual flu, not man flu). I tried to go to work, got about half way to the train station and found myself having to stop to rest because I was so exhausted. I just thought to myself 'This is ridiculous, they don't pay me enough.', so I went home and stayed in bed for four days instead.

sheadakota
04-21-2008, 03:54 AM
Yikes! so sorry for opening a can of worms here guys- I was very much being tongue in cheek- My DH is a great guy who I love dearly- I don't mind babying him when he is sick- But He thinks I should be stronger than I am when I'm sick- just venting- and sorry - I will now slink around the corner and go take care of my husband now.

choppersmom
04-21-2008, 04:27 AM
Why is it that women seem to think it's so big and clever to carry on as normal when you're sick?
I had the flu a few weeks ago (actual flu, not man flu). I tried to go to work, got about half way to the train station and found myself having to stop to rest because I was so exhausted. I just thought to myself 'This is ridiculous, they don't pay me enough.', so I went home and stayed in bed for four days instead.

From what I've seen in some of the replies to this thread, it's not that women think it's all big and clever, it's because no one else will do what needs to be done if the woman doesn't do it. If Choppersdad and I both feel sorry for ourselves and go to bed for four days, we'd wake up to a house full of the carcasses of unfed animals and assorted humans. Someone has to get up and take care of things, and some women feel that their men don't pony up enough. We do what we gotta do out of sheer necessity sometimes. And as far as work goes, it's not always easy to find a new job when you get fired.

There are always circumstances. Generalizing makes the point, but when we start to say, "Oh, the OP said EVERY man" or "Ray thinks EVERY woman" or whatever, we're missing the point.

ETA: It sounds as though you truly were ailing beyond the point when pushing on was even possible, and you did exactly the right thing in that case. I just wanted to clarify that I didn't think you went to bed for four days because you felt sorry for yourself, which is how my statements in the first paragraph above might come across. I didn't mean that at all.

choppersmom
04-21-2008, 04:29 AM
Well, I was going to agree with JJ, but I see you've made a most excellent counterpoint. :D

Don't get me wrong, I TOTALLY agree that it would be way better in theory to stay home when you're sick, and if I were a boss, I'd tell my staff exactly that. But most people are not so lucky to have a wonderful person like me as their boss. :D

Devil Ledbetter
04-21-2008, 04:51 AM
Don't get me wrong, I TOTALLY agree that it would be way better in theory to stay home when you're sick, and if I were a boss, I'd tell my staff exactly that. But most people are not so lucky to have a wonderful person like me as their boss. :DI'm lucky, then. When I went in for my interview, I had a terrible chest cold with a wicked cough and a fever. Now, a job interview isn't something you ought to call in sick for, IMO, not if you really want the job. Somehow, through the magic of cough suppressants and drops, I got through the first 30 minutes. Then all hell broke loose. I could not stop coughing. People were running all over getting me glasses of icewater and cough drops. It was embarrassing.

My new boss said I should have postponed the interview, then thought for a minute and said he'd have done the exact same thing I did. :D He hired me but made me promise not to start work until I was completely over that thing. Well, it took me two more solid weeks to get over it, but with my job contract in hand I waited it out. He's instructed me never to come to work sick, and I shall take him at his word.

Lucky me.

SPMiller
04-21-2008, 05:03 AM
[...] everyone's biting each other through the fences!
You must have horses.

choppersmom
04-21-2008, 05:53 AM
I'm lucky, then. When I went in for my interview, I had a terrible chest cold with a wicked cough and a fever. Now, a job interview isn't something you ought to call in sick for, IMO, not if you really want the job. Somehow, through the magic of cough suppressants and drops, I got through the first 30 minutes. Then all hell broke loose. I could not stop coughing. People were running all over getting me glasses of icewater and cough drops. It was embarrassing.

My new boss said I should have postponed the interview, then thought for a minute and said he'd have done the exact same thing I did. :D He hired me but made me promise not to start work until I was completely over that thing. Well, it took me two more solid weeks to get over it, but with my job contract in hand I waited it out. He's instructed me never to come to work sick, and I shall take him at his word.

Lucky me.

You are lucky! My boss is an arrogant powerhungry troll.

choppersmom
04-21-2008, 05:53 AM
You must have horses.

LOL, not yet, just read every word ever written about them, likely.

SPMiller
04-21-2008, 06:39 AM
LOL, not yet, just read every word ever written about them, likely.
A few years of stall-cleaning will have you wondering how much hired help would cost... :D

z10
04-21-2008, 07:09 AM
what kind of man gets sick in the first place?

poetinahat
04-21-2008, 07:25 AM
I'd never even think of asking the question in the following way: :rolleyes:

When men get sick, they confine their whinging to the home, and only the Dear Other hears it. Women, on the other hand, wait until they get better. *Then* they moan to all and sundry about how they never complained. But they never mention it to the Dear Other himself, who returns to health only to find himself scorned by all and sundry when he does step outside again. How's come?

(Never mind me, I'm just sick and irritable.)

choppersmom
04-21-2008, 07:34 AM
A few years of stall-cleaning will have you wondering how much hired help would cost... :D

I'll muck stalls every day for fifty years if I can have the feel of a soft muzzle in my hand. *lurves!*

aruna
04-21-2008, 12:06 PM
I work. Pat works. When I'm sick, I go to work. When Pat's sick, he goes to work. If I'm that sick that I can't go to work, he cares for me. If it should ever happen that Iron Man ever did call in legitimately sick, I would care for him. That's where it's at, or where it should be, anyway. We should be caring for each other.


You are extremely lucky, choppersmum. But it doesn't work that way in some families. Sometimes you end up being your husband's mother*, and the only choice you have is, either you change the diapers, or you don't!

ETA*and yes, of course the other way around as well!

aruna
04-21-2008, 12:20 PM
But then why is it okay to have a joke about "men" in general but if I started a thread generalizing women, I'd probably not live through the day? That was exactly my point earlier: What if I started a thread about "women like to be pampered all the time"? Immediately a number of women raised their hands and said, "That's just not true." Hey, I was just tongue-in-cheek.
.

The thing is, though, when I turned serious it was actually on behalf of men... I wanted to show that there might be a very good and very practical reason why, traditionally, husbands might stay in bed to get well; That it wasn't just self-pity; they had to get back to work for the family!

For some reason a lot of people found that offensive. You just can't win!

KTC
04-21-2008, 03:44 PM
I'm glad someone sees the irony.


I don't even look at the ironing. That's my wife's job.